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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

By my second “could we change the subject?” I could feel the job interview going south.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

I put my pants on like everyone else. With hope they still fit.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

You can be having the nicest day and then you have to print something and you know your day is about to fall apart real fast.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Jesus rose from the grave because he forgot to clear his browser history.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

They should invent a rest for the wicked.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

I forgot to take my meds so I’m looking forward to joining the squirrels in the tree to talk politics.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Can’t, trying to piece together today’s news from social media posts.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Imagine if every time you ate a grape you’d hear a soft voice whisper “that was my son…”

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

So excited to go to bed and have the worst sleep of my life, and wake up exhausted and aching.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to pull all nighters.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

830 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,992

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,992

Updated

17 minutes ago

Users Online

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via X:

Aubrey Plaza is like an alien who went to earth to study us but accidentally got famous and can’t leave.

Trending via Instagram:

I’m no Hobbit, but I do often walk blindly into some rather dodgy situations.

Spotted on Threads:

Someone asked me how much I spend on a bottle of wine. 30 minutes was not the right answer.

Just landed via YouTube:

Oh no, a login from a new device? And that device is my phone? The one that I use every single day? And the location is my house, you say? Thank you so much for warning me. I will contact Interpol.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Thank god I played a lot of Tetris as a kid or I never would have been able to get everything into the freezer.

Just landed via Discord:

I like when the rain is misty and you get to feel like a grocery store broccoli for a little while.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Girls expect handwritten letters from guys who copy birthday wishes from ChatGPT.

Just shared via WeChat:

Food gives you energy to nap more.

Just shared via TikTok:

If you saw me licking the plate after the charcuterie was finished, no you didn’t.

Trending via Messenger:

My computer: Consider changing your password. Me: Consider fighting me in the streets.

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Funny dishwashing quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

830 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,992

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,992

Updated

17 minutes ago

Users Online

3,440

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

I saw a bird get a worm today. It was about 11 am. So, don’t give up on your dreams, buddy!

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

I be skipping everyone’s stories but watch mine like 20 times.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

Babe, wake up, it’s stupid outside!

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Hold on, let me overthink this.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

You ever killed your own vibe by remembering?

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Elections make you feel like we’re all in divorce court waiting to see who gets custody of us.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Website: We use cookies to improve our performance. Me: Same!

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Some people you look at or hear talking and think to yourself, the wheel may be turning, but the hamster is dead.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Why can’t Chinese restaurants chop the broccoli in their dishes? I feel like I’m trying to fit an entire bonsai tree into my mouth.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

Please remember, I am an inspiration for birth control.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Okay, that’s enough todaying for today.

Trending via Twitch:

I’m sick of living through history!

Just shared via WeChat:

People remind me everyday why I prefer being on my own.

Just shared via Telegram:

Tall people make me nervous. What the hell are you doing up there? Stop eating the leaves off that tree.

Trending via Messenger:

I hate when I accidentally blow all of my leaves into my neighbor’s yard.

Going viral on Discord:

Normalize throwing lamps at people who need to lighten up.

Just landed via Slack:

I like to do a task by worrying about it for three weeks and then finally dedicating 10 solid minutes to completing it.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

The days will soon be shorter again. Then it won’t rain for so long.

Going viral on Snapchat:

All I want is to live well and to die in a manner so bizarre and gruesome it can only be described with a German word.

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