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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

And no thanking Jesus unless he actually shows up at the ceremony.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Do not take me to an escape room. I was a c-section. Someone is gonna have to come get me.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Christmas is coming and you’re not.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

I have no idea how people meet at the gym. I turn into a disgusting, angry swamp witch every time I exercise.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

People who don’t admit their mistakes disgust me. I would absolutely admit to a mistake if I had ever made one.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Let’s drink some whiskey and say too much.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

How do you tell someone that you will probably end up marrying them, but in a casual way?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Accidentally became important at work and it’s ruining my life.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

The thing I hate most about my stationary bike is having to pick it up and turn it around for the return trip.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Being annoying is the most beautiful thing a woman could be.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

Updated

38 minutes ago

Users Online

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Instagram:

I enjoy long walks up and down my stairs trying to remember what I was supposed to be doing.

Just landed via Discord:

I think I’m emotionally constipated because I haven’t given a shit in months.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful.

Seen just now on X:

Women know the exact weight of their children and their age in days. Men just know that little people live with them.

Seen just now on YouTube:

We need a word for that weird feeling you get when you learn what a podcaster looks like.

Just shared via Discord:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my ID photo.

Just landed via Snapchat:

When I was little, I didn’t care what I wore. I just went along with what my parents chose. When I look in old photo albums, l realize that they didn’t care either.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Petition to allow customer service employees to fight at least one customer per day.

Just landed via Slack:

“It can’t get any worse than this”, I lie to myself knowing it will absolutely get worse.

Breaking via YouTube:

Intro to salsa class was weird, I starved myself all day, there was no chips or dips and then these weirdos were all grabby and dancing around.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

Updated

38 minutes ago

Users Online

3,444

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Let’s all stand up against iron deficiency (but not too fast).

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Whenever I have a headache, I take 2 aspirin and keep away from children, just like it says on the bottle.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

I’d like to meet the person who decided that if you wanted to get married fast it had to be done by Elvis.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

When someone giving me directions says, “You can’t miss it,” I would love to tell them just how wrong they were if I could find my way back to them.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

No, I love darkness at 5pm and the death of a nation.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Changing my relationship status from “Single” to “I give up.”

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

My favorite things about Twitter are that everything you read is true, everyone is nice, and all intentions are pure of heart.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

I sign all anniversary cards with ‘Way to commit to the bit!’

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Sometimes I need a break from myself but it’s like, ugh, everywhere I go there I am.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a neurosurgeon in the middle of brain surgery.

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Facebook:

I could never work in an aquarium. I would have a penguin under my shirt at the end of the shift.

Seen just now on TikTok:

The pumpkin was invented in 1942 when a watermelon put on a pair of corduroys.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I’ve faced more peer pressure to watch certain TV shows than to do drugs.

Seen just now on Messenger:

If your boyfriend insists he rolls everywhere because it’s ‘faster than walking’, you may be dating a gamer.

Reported on Twitch:

That pile of clothes on my bed, seems to have strange powers and gets higher on its own.

Going viral on Twitch:

Work is the worst video game ever.

Making waves on X:

I feel so discombobulated when supermarkets switch up the aisles without texting me first.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I don’t need the audio tour at the museum, I have my teen to provide critical commentary the entire time.

Going viral on Facebook:

I was not prepared for my knees to sound like someone is breaking spaghetti noodles in half every time I go up the stairs.

Just shared via TikTok:

I accidentally bought a pair of nose-cancelling headphones and now my glasses keep falling off.

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