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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

I drink my coffee black because I like to save my calories for alcohol.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Me: “I should treat myself to something.” My bank account: “Dream on.”

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Sunday is my favorite day to invent new things to worry about.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

“People you may know” and it’s someone I would set on fire.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

I just refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good to watch.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Being single past 30 is like playing hide and seek, except no one is looking for you.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Men make it so easy to hate them.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Had chicken and egg for dinner because I wanted to eat the whole family.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Life hack: Allow yourself 8–12 hours of alone time every morning to prepare for the day.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Chasing after a ping pong ball is wildly dehumanizing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

786 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,948

Funny Quotes Topics

13,918

Funny Quotes Images

10,948

Updated

44 minutes ago

Users Online

3,428

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

Some people are so fake, their lock screens don’t recognize them.

Making waves on Messenger:

When life gives you lemons, give them back and ask what the crap is all about.

Trending via Slack:

Non-parents be like: I would simply instruct the toddler to do something he doesn’t want to do, and he would obey.

Spotted on Instagram:

Acceptance truly begins when you ask Alexa to play classic rock and she plays a song that came out when you were in high school.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I think my bank account has been taking Ozempic.

Trending via Pinterest:

Hanging out with your parents as an adult is so interesting, cause it’s like, “Oh, so that’s why I’m like this.”

Reported on Instagram:

Is it smoky eye or were you wearing mascara and your eyes got itchy?

Just shared via Discord:

Are cassette tapes considered classical music yet?

Spreading quickly via X:

Christmas is coming and you’re not.

Just landed via Telegram:

I just can’t watch football, there’s too much “penetration in the backfield” for me to not giggle like an immature maniac.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

786 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,948

Funny Quotes Topics

13,918

Funny Quotes Images

10,948

Updated

44 minutes ago

Users Online

3,420

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Maybe one day a street will be named after me. Or a school. Or a mental hospital.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

People who take naps are the real heroes. It takes courage to wake up twice in one day.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Dating apps aren’t working. I’ll see ya at Home Depot, gentlemen.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Imagine you get to the gates of heaven and they make you download an app to go in.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

A beaver is an otter that has studied architecture.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Alcohol is a vicious cycle: regret, recovery, repeat.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

The plant app says that I either watered my plant too much or not enough. Very helpful. Thanks!

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

I didn’t know that Rome wasn’t built in a day. I wasn’t on that job.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

How are they running out of oxygen if they’re breathing it right back into the submarine?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

My grandfather tried to warn them about the Titanic. He screamed and shouted about the iceberg and how the ship was going to sink, but all they did was throw him out of the theater.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

In America we have marijuana. In France they have oui’d.

Going viral on X:

I am convinced that size matters, especially when it comes to the heart.

Reported on TikTok:

I love when men go on diets they will be like “let me go for the healthy option”: the buffalo chicken quesadilla.

Just shared via Reddit:

“You’re so funny!” Thanks, I didn’t get laid in high school.

Live now on X:

If I buy the circus, the monkey will be the manager.

Spotted on Messenger:

“It’s bikini season,” I whisper, eating another bikini.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I don’t care if my parents are disappointed in me, I’m not impressed by them either.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

“The average CEO reads 52 books a year.” Yeah, because they’ve got nothing else to do.

Spotted on Telegram:

If you want to be sure that you never forget your wife’s birthday, just try forgetting it once.

Making waves on TikTok:

Roses are red, violets are blue. Your parents are very disappointed in you.

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