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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Having a crush on someone as an adult feels like a humiliation ritual.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

The only talent I have is spending more than I bring in.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

You can always tell when someone is on a diet by how they scrape every last bit from that yogurt container.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

How many calories does an audible sigh burn? Because I don’t think my Apple Watch is giving me credit for them.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Watermelon. The fruit that comes with a workout.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Asking myself if that was too weird after I hit send.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Ever since I was a little girl I knew I wanted to leave work early.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Only thing sexier than a bad decisions is a bad decision with queso.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Butterflies all seem so nice but I’ll bet some of them are real bastards.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Make sure you stock up on condoms, so you don’t produce any more idiots.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,559

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

My boss said he likes how I remain so calm under pressure. Can’t tell him it’s because I don’t give a shit.

Spotted on Facebook:

I broke up with the gym. We were just not working out.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Every time I have to repeat myself, a new curse word gets added into the sentence.

Freshly posted on Threads:

If someone ghosts you, respect the dead and never disturb them again.

Going bananas on Threads:

Taylor Swift should write a song about people who don’t return their shopping carts to the corrals.

Just shared via YouTube:

You know it’s bad when people start telling you, you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

People who accuse me of delusions of grandeur, obviously don’t worship me enough.

Just landed via Discord:

I lied, there’s no sex. Stand over there and tell me if this painting I’m hanging is straight.

Trending via Twitch:

Just rolled a joint. Not to get high or anything. It was just my ankle.

Seen just now on YouTube:

To the people who have only fans, what’s stopping you from upgrading to an air conditioner?

Funny downtown quotes

Funny downtown quotes bring the vibrant city buzz to life with a twist of humor 🌆😂 Whether you’re dodging traffic, hunting for the best coffee, or people-watching on the street corner, these witty lines capture the quirky charm of urban life 🚦☕🕺 Get ready to smile and see your favorite city spots in a whole new, hilarious light!

New funny downtown quotes 👇

All funny downtown quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on TikTok this month:

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I also want them to get lice.

80 shares on WeChat this month:

How dare you say I’m crazy on the eve of my cat’s wedding?

51 shares on Pinterest this month:

To-do list: bite the hand that feeds me, put all my eggs in one basket, kill two birds with one stone, let the cat out of the bag, think inside the box, burn bridges, walk on thin ice, play with fire.

24 shares on Instagram this month:

December, give me a sweet ending for this year please.

58 shares on Snapchat this month:

Every time I talk, it sounds like it’s my first time trying to speak.

71 shares on Telegram this month:

Avocado toast at a cafe: $10. Avocado toast from Uber Eats: $25. Avocado toast made at home: $550 (my labor is worth $115 a minute).

36 shares on Discord this month:

It’s amazing, when it’s your birthday you really feel the love from family, friends, lovers, former dentists, yoga studios and various smootheries.

27 shares on Twitch this month:

Chip bags should be clear, show me what you want me to pay $6 for, cowards.

65 shares on Reddit this month:

I just need a day between everyday… to recover from the day before… just so I can prepare for the day coming.

42 shares on X this month:

Camping? No, thank you. If I wanted to sleep outside, I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I could have done without braces back then. What’s the point of having perfect teeth if I have no reason to smile?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope I find $10,000 on the floor later.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

When I was a kid, we still ate noodles. Then at some point we ate pasta. Today, we only eat carbs.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t worry, you’ll find the lost scissors when you’ll be searching for your glasses.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve decided that I’m going to underthink today.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Pleasantly surprised to discover the treadmill I bought came with a remote control, so I can run it from my recliner.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Being a people pleaser that no one is pleased with is the main cause of my anxiety.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I commented to a friend that I didn’t know how goofy Scream was. It turns out I have never seen Scream. I saw Scary Movie.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Every single morning, I have to get out of bed and do things, and it’s bullshit.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone’s an expert after the fact.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,718

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Not to brag but I gave someone directions and he made it.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Happiness is an inside job.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

I’m thinking of maybe killing off a few characters in the book I’m writing. That will really spice up my autobiography.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

In my 20’s: why is eating healthy such a big deal anyways. In my 40’s: oh.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Nothing tests your patience like a group chat blowing up your phone.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

There’s protein in foods that have never been protein before.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Married life: Telling your partner the same sentence 7 days in a row, only for him to say, “You definitely never told me that!”

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

I’m a big fan of that post-laundry feeling when you’ve got all your A-list clothes back in the game.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

The worst thing I’ve seen as a paramedic is my paycheck.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

I bought a robot vacuum today. Named it “Dustbin Bieber”.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

People said follow your dreams, so I went back to bed.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Should I ever be mean and insulting, then it comes from the bottom of my heart.

Just landed via Twitch:

Traumatized people will navigate emergency situations with calm surety but then have an anxiety attack in a grocery store.

Trending via Reddit:

It’s so hot, I just saw a squirrel fanning its nuts.

Just landed via YouTube:

You come from dust and you’ll return to dust, so that’s why I never dust. It could be someone I know.

Just shared via Reddit:

I have so many mood swings, I’m basically a swing now.

Breaking via Facebook:

My favorite things about Texas are definitely toast and chainsaw massacres.

Trending via Twitch:

I hate people that talk to their Apple watch. Fake Power Rangers.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Why can’t periods just last for an hour? Like, you made your point, I’m not pregnant, you can leave now.

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