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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

My body looks like I have a great personality.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Standing like a flamingo at my kitchen counter eating watermelon is such a vibe.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

11:00 am – Anything is possible. 3:00 pm – But not today.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

My retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding a buried treasure at some point.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Based on the amount of laundry I wash each week, I’m starting to think there are people who live here that I haven’t met yet.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Scrolling the feed as a mature person, not judging anybody.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Sometimes I’ll do a random act of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

I’m going to start reading books again, as soon as I finish the internet.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

After much deliberation, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m an overthinker.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

If you ever get attacked by a shark, just be a good sport about it and let it eat you. Hey, look on the bright side: It’s a rare occurrence, so you’re special.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,733

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

It’s almost time to put winter tires on the struggle bus.

Live now on Slack:

The smarter you are, the more important it is for you to figure out how to think less.

Live now on X:

First rule for the new year is to not dwell on what went wrong this year.

Spotted on TikTok:

Going to all the Halloween parties this year as the Invisible Man.

Breaking via Twitch:

364 days until Christmas, and people already have decorations up. Unbelievable.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I got all my marriage skills from watching Al Bundy.

Trending via Facebook:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI take a 30-minute poop right after clocking in.

Going viral on Twitch:

“This is a great weekend to clean out the garage,” according to my wife and other people who won’t be cleaning the garage.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I dunno how to flirt but I can insult you so nicely.

Making waves on Messenger:

9-5 is really 10-2 if you’re working remote.

Funny downtown quotes

Funny downtown quotes bring the vibrant city buzz to life with a twist of humor 🌆😂 Whether you’re dodging traffic, hunting for the best coffee, or people-watching on the street corner, these witty lines capture the quirky charm of urban life 🚦☕🕺 Get ready to smile and see your favorite city spots in a whole new, hilarious light!

New funny downtown quotes 👇

All funny downtown quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sober in a taxi: Please. Stop talking to me. Drunk in a taxi: … And that, Mick, is why I’m emotionally unavailable, I suppose.

63 shares on Twitch this month:

My doctor told me to try a milk bath. Adding the Cinnamon Toast Crunch was my idea.

70 shares on Instagram this month:

If women came with instructions, men wouldn’t read them anyway.

55 shares on Instagram this month:

My favorite body lotion is Voltaren.

92 shares on WeChat this month:

When I worked as a restaurant critic, I wrote under a nom nom nom de plume.

52 shares on TikTok this month:

No show does a misunderstanding / miscommunication plot better than Modern Family does.

39 shares on Facebook this month:

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I asked R2D2, and he said you’re a loser.

98 shares on Messenger this month:

Welcome to your 40s, you’re too old to sit on the floor and put furniture together.

18 shares on Snapchat this month:

Not being filthy rich is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

28 shares on Messenger this month:

Trying to win an argument online is sociopathic. I would concede anything to get a stranger to leave me alone.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Remind the demons under your bed that you’re the landlord, raise the rent.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I applied for a job and got it, and now I really have to go there. Crap!

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Sex is cool and all, but have you ever tried obsessing over a mediocre person who’s just not that into you.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing makes you regret an outfit choice faster than when you see teens looking at you and whispering.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The date didn’t go well but she was nice enough to send a PDF of everything I did wrong afterwards.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I just got lied to by 3K+ people. That recipe was awful.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

“Be the bigger person” sounds too much like “accept the disrespect”.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

People pleasers aren’t kind. They’re afraid.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

There should be 1 day a month without commercials.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter actually is my diary, so you’re not allowed to get mad at the things I post. You’re not even supposed to be reading this. Why were you going through my stuff?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,307

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

All human behavior is performative, besides the crying of an infant.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Roses are red. Pizza sauce is too. I ordered a large. And none of it’s for you.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Just got hired at Five Guys as the guy who punches the burger before they put it in the bag.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Unfortunately, I am not nonchalant, I will set myself on fire.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Beavers are so funny. Why are you a little rat doing hydraulic engineering?

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

I wish I could join, but I’m busy plotting revenge because my kids laughed when I showed them I can shake it better than Shakira.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Animals are 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

I hate when I’m typing away, expecting autocorrect to have my back, and I look down and just see awjdbdmkskan.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

When I feel stupid, I like to remind myself that I got my bachelor’s degree without ChatGPT.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Icarus loved hot wings.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

About four minutes into my run, I’ve decided I want to work on my personality instead.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I don’t get why banks tie pens with strings. We trust them with money, but they can’t trust us with a single pen.

Just landed via Instagram:

I don’t have any patience because it takes too long.

Live now on Facebook:

Don’t hate me because I can fall asleep within seconds; hate me because I can sleep through the night without having to get up to go to the bathroom.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Shaved my bush and went down a pants size.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Everything I like is either expensive, illegal, or wont text me back.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Family fistfights brought to you by Monopoly.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Whenever you are feeling down, remember you’re the sperm that won.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Shampoo companies need to be clearer when they say “repairs damage”. I cancelled my therapy for nothing.

Making waves on Telegram:

Why are fish the only thing you can monger? Let me monger some other stuff.

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