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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Twitter is great because you can tweet “hi” and someone will tell you you’re wrong.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Lord, they down here giving us bills every month after you already paid the price.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Sex so good, my left hand is making my right hand a sandwich.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Ok, hear me out: a reality show where billionaire CEOs have to live off of their lowest-paid employees’ salaries for a month.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Stop expecting people to be as cool as you, it’s a recipe for disappointment.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

The world is my ostrich, or whatever.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Imagine if every time you stepped into an elevator, it played the “Mission Impossible” theme.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Whatever you ask the Universe for under this post, you will get next week.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Instead of studying, I like to stay on my phone and worry about how I’m going to pass.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Non-parents be like: I would simply instruct the toddler to do something he doesn’t want to do, and he would obey.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

23 minutes ago

3,460

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

An easy way to check if you’re attractive: send a “Hey” DM and see if they reply.

Just landed via Slack:

I can already feel that the day is going to seize me instead of the other way around.

Going viral on Discord:

He died doing what he loved: trying to find out if gang members are ticklish.

Live now on Messenger:

I finally figured out my lifelong dream of becoming a human blanket, but my friends still call it napping on their couch.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I’m just falling in love with my problems now. Maybe they’ll leave me too.

Going viral on Telegram:

I always leave my friends voicemails in case they suddenly decide to be a musician and need an interlude.

Reported on WeChat:

Waitress: “Do you have any questions about the menu?” Me: “What kind of font is this?

Shared recently on WeChat:

I would love to be the reason you look at your phone and smile. Then walk into a wall.

Going viral on Instagram:

What do you mean it’s Monday? We just had Monday. This can’t be right.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Tried a smile yesterday and my white blood cells attacked it.

Home » Funny Drug Tests Quotes

Funny drug tests quotes

New funny drug tests quotes 👇

Jan 22, 2025
Share →: Drugs don’t ruin lives. Drug tests do.

Commentary:
"Drugs don’t ruin lives, they say. It's the drug tests that really bring out the stress and anxiety 🚫🧪 Who knew a little cup could hold so much power over our fate? 😅 #DrugTestingDrama"

For even more funny drug tests quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny drug tests quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

23 minutes ago

3,456

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

If she replies to your sarcasm with more sarcasm, that’s a whole life.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

I get it, laundry, no one is doing me either.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Yeah, baby, I am an animal in bed. More specifically a koala. I can sleep for 22 hours a day.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

What is the name of the course in medical school where you learn not to take your patients seriously?

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Sorry I didn’t text you back, I was pretending I didn’t see it and ended up actually forgetting.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

People who say that they don’t have time for my bullshit should wake up an hour earlier.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

“I’ll run it by the boss” is one of the peak boomerisms you can say as a married man. It feels electric.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

I’m at that point in my life where if a car hit me, I’d probably say thank you to the kind stranger.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Marry someone the same size as you to avoid decades of annoyance adjusting the seats and mirrors in the car.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Apple, who gives you permission to turn the brightness down again when I’ve just turned it up?

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

I survived a Monday, and for what? Tuesday? Disgusting.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

It’s like 10,000 yawns when all you need is a nap.

Breaking via Discord:

Biggest flex is when your friend’s mom uses you as a good example.

Shared recently on Messenger:

*Googles: How to fake your own death and erase existence before 9am Monday morning.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Is he trying to pronounce “charcuterie” or is he having a stroke?

Broadcasted on WeChat:

The unemployed urge to say I love you during a job interview.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Santa keeps a pair of mounted antlers over his fireplace to keep the reindeer from unionizing.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head I’m quite busy.

Shared recently on WeChat:

The only career advice I have is make every decision that moves you closer to not having to be on LinkedIn.

Spotted on Discord:

How long do you actually have to wear a muscle shirt until you get muscles?

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