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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Kiss me like you’re trying to damn my soul and save it in the same breath.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Let’s build a fort with blankets and pillows, and just stay in it all day.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

If you want to know who the bad guys are, it is the side who wants you arrested for memes and jokes.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

There should be a socially acceptable way to say, “I’m not sure what to say to that. Can you please say something different?”.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

This going into the office stuff blows. Like, I seriously have to wear clothes now.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

I’m officially at the age where I hate unnecessary noises and useless friends.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Centaurs can’t wipe their asses.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

I only use ‘sir’ disrespectfully.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

If I could have dinner with anyone, living or dead, I’d pick living.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,345

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

They say we learn from our mistakes. That’s why I’m making as many as possible… I’ll be a genius soon.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Tattoos: because being an adult is hard, and I deserve to have stickers.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Oh good. Another day.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Sometimes, fasting from people is also important.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Special Offer: Save 100% when you don’t buy anything.

Making waves on Telegram:

Apple’s secret growth engine: vibe coders paying the $99 Apple Developer Program fee.

Trending via Instagram:

I don’t wanna meet your family, bring my plate to the car.

Breaking via Telegram:

Is it cool if I come into your life and just never leave, like a stray cat?

Making waves on Twitch:

Shout out to Yamaha for being like, “Here’s a cool motorcycle. Also, here’s a cool piano.”

Going viral on WeChat:

A Jackie Chan fight scene where he’s in an IKEA warehouse and he fights off dudes with furniture pieces, but by the end he’s accidentally assembled it all into a complete Malm bedroom set.

Funny employee salary quotes

New funny employee salary quotes 👇

Ok, hear me out: a reality show where billionaire CEOs have to live off of their lowest-paid employees’ salaries for a month.

5 days ago

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All funny employee salary quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on Instagram this month:

That moment when you dip your cookie in milk for too long and it breaks off, then you wonder why bad things happen to good people.

72 shares on X this month:

Someone needs to invent a kid that listens the first time.

78 shares on Pinterest this month:

Why do parents bust in your room like they trying to catch you cheating on them with another pair of parents or something?

42 shares on Telegram this month:

That’s not fat. It’s bonus content.

47 shares on Discord this month:

Bought a pair of night vision goggles so that I can easily find the fridge at night without waking my wife.

35 shares on Instagram this month:

Anyone still shut off lights when leaving a room because their parents used to say, “Don’t waste electricity!”

88 shares on YouTube this month:

Apparently, when you treat people like they treat you, they get upset.

10 shares on X this month:

Be the reason why your local woods are haunted.

46 shares on Facebook this month:

It’s Sunday. I’ve slept in and ignored church. Somewhere the devil is sitting and clicking on “Like”.

52 shares on Threads this month:

My favorite thing to do when I see people I know in public is to pretend I didn’t.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

When I die and y’all go through my search history, you’ll be disappointed to find mostly just definitions for very common words that I wasn’t sure I was using correctly.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

People would be more motivated to lose weight if the weight they lost went on to someone they didn’t like.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Remember: no matter what anyone else thinks of you, it’s how you delude yourself that matters.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

I like my mornings to be slow and quiet. I want the day to romance me a bit before it tries to mess me up.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

“I’m gonna decide everyone’s pronouns and sexuality tonight. And, yes, there will be some big surprises.”

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

What are some beginner pieces of information for somebody just getting into knowledge?

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, Guantanamo Bay.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

I was abducted by aliens. They made me wash my hands, clean my room, and eat my vegetables. Turns out I was on the mothership.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

My mother always told me, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing at all.” Needless to say, I’m not much of a conversationalist.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

There’s a word in modern Hungarian slang, egérmozi, which describes watching films (or shows) on your phone. It means “mouse cinema”.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

My outdoor flowers are doing amazing this year because I left them at the garden center where they belong.

Going viral on Messenger:

Saw the eye doctor, and that’s 90% of the vision test right there.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

“Just circling back on this.” – “Take another lap.”

Spreading quickly via X:

Sorry for my bad behavior. Mercury is in gatorade or whatever.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I’ve learned the best way to find something that I’ve lost is to buy a replacement one, to make the lost one spontaneously appear.

Breaking via Facebook:

Best friends: they know how crazy you are but still choose to be seen in public with you.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Aliens are coming to Earth, people are going to the Moon, and I am still pushing on a door that says pull.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

If I could be in two places at once, I’d be in bed twice.

Going viral on WeChat:

The more I insisted marshmallows were vegetables, the angrier my doctor got.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but I think people who say ‘I don’t know who needs to hear this’ know exactly who needed to hear it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny employee salary quotes

New funny employee salary quotes 👇

Ok, hear me out: a reality show where billionaire CEOs have to live off of their lowest-paid employees’ salaries for a month.

All funny employee salary quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨