Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

The adult version of “head, shoulders, knees and toes” is “wallet, glasses, keys and phone.”

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

It’s our first time on Earth, so why are you a life coach?

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Turns out I like you a lot more than I originally planned.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Guy smoking weed daily: “I think smoking weed in moderation is fine.”

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness, clearly never paid for a divorce.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Don’t invite me anywhere in the last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Seeing an animal sigh is so funny to me. Like, what happened, buddy?

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

When I was a kid, we weren’t allowed to use our phones in school. Mainly because the cords wouldn’t reach.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Zara makes clothing for occasions that don’t exist.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

I still can’t believe they named a company GoDaddy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,311

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

Sorry, the deadline for complaints was yesterday.

Breaking via Snapchat:

People really be like, “I would never do that to you,” and then do it with a remix.

Trending via Discord:

The problem with hiding snacks from my kid is that when I forget, they end up being hidden from me too.

Breaking via YouTube:

Men tell you “I know a place” and bring you to the brink of madness.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I suffer from that syndrome where your neutral expression makes it look like you’re an angry serial killer.

Breaking via WeChat:

“What’s your music taste?” Don’t know, man. If it sounds good, I’m adding it to the playlist.

Spotted on Threads:

Just gonna drink light beers today, because I don’t wanna get drunk but I do enjoy peeing 30 times.

Live now on Messenger:

Carrying a baby for nine months and then naming it Chet is insane.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Socialism isn’t wrong because it has compassion. It’s wrong because it doesn’t work.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

In an alternate universe, the hard way is always learning me.

Funny epigenetic quotes

New funny epigenetic quotes 👇

All funny epigenetic quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on Facebook this month:

Bro, you’re not allowed anymore to have your tongue drop out of your mouth and form a stair case when you see my wife.

23 shares on Instagram this month:

I highly recommend having hobbies. It distracts you from things like falling in love.

50 shares on Twitch this month:

Me (young, naive): “I hope something good happens.” Me (now): “I hope whatever bad happens is at least funny.”

50 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Only a couple more days until I come home and pretend I forgot about Valentine’s Day.

97 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My boss was like, “People working from home are just pretending to work,” and it’s like, dude, what do you think I’m doing in the office?

76 shares on LinkedIn this month:

How lazy are you?” I greet people by raising my eyebrows.

14 shares on Slack this month:

Girls don’t actually shop. We just walk round touching the clothes saying ‘this is cute’.

63 shares on Snapchat this month:

Jacket I left on a chair that sometimes looks like a person at night stuns in new evening nightmare.

47 shares on Messenger this month:

You’ll be having a good day and then someone your age says they’re buying a house.

94 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I only accept apologies in cash.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

People think I forgot the shit they said. Ain’t no expiration date on disrespect.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Someone at my job mentioned severance, and I was like, “Oh my God, I love that show,” and they said, “No, I’m about to get fired.”

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Exorcist came by. Says house isn’t possessed, just incredibly poorly built.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m the product of too much television and zero supervision.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

They give smokers all those breaks to make up for the time taken off their lifespan.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Are you ever so happy to be in bed, you wish you could be even more in bed than you already are?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Yeah, sex is cool and all, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Some say the world will end in fire. Others say in ice. Coming up next, our expert panel breaks down the arguments for each side…

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Best friends should be able to apply to jobs together and get hired as a set.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I saw a spider crawl under my kid’s bed and was too tired to go after it, but that’s okay, no living creature can survive that environment.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,295

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

This is about the time of year where my enthusiasm about shoveling snow turns into “it will probably melt on it’s own”.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

My Wi-Fi is stronger than my will to socialize.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

My husband has entered the “fun socks” years.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

What’s it called when you mentally want to be horny but you’re physically not at all?

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

If you burned CDs for the car so your original copies wouldn’t get scratched, it’s time to schedule your colonoscopy.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Addicted to eating one gigantic meal a day like a reptile.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Friends are God’s way of apologizing to us for our families.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Writers should get a direct line to the FBI so we can call them and give them a heads up when we’re googling ways to poison someone but just for a story.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

“I can’t wait to go back to bed tonight!” Me, 5 minutes after waking up.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

The only thing keeping me from world domination is a good nap.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a cardiac surgeon in the middle of heart surgery.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Never underestimate the healing power of not watching the news.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

It’s Monday, proceed with caution.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Good morning. May your day be as beautiful as I am.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Source? Divine intuition, gut instinct, and cryptic symbolism from my dreams.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Thanks for leaving my door open; I was running low on houseflies.

Breaking via X:

“There are lots of benefits to working here. We have fun social events and activities after work!” And what are the benefits?

Trending via Telegram:

Dear sleep: thanks for trying, but you can’t beat surfing the net.

Just landed via Twitch:

Good morning. I’m ready for attention now.

Spotted on WeChat:

Go outside and let the rain do what your boyfriend can’t.

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