Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

A word to the wise ain’t necessary, it’s the stupid ones who need advice.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Why’d they call it a fly swatter and not a splatula?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

I wish I was mysterious, but unfortunately I just can’t keep my mouth shut.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Leaving your house and returning back safely is such an underrated blessing.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

I like to swear a lot so that people will keep their kids away from me.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Like, who are those little paper umbrellas trying to protect?

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Got thrown out of the grocery store for holding a rotisserie chicken up like Simba again.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Somewhere there’s a girl ignoring 15 guys for a guy who gives her no attention.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

If you can’t tell which family member is coming up the stairs by the speed and weight of their footsteps, are you even family?

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Introducing WifeChat™, the app where you talk to your wife.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,546

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

You can be under 25, just don’t do it around me.

Seen just now on Discord:

December calories don’t count. That’s the law.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Signed an Executive Order that you have to give me a little forehead kiss.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

FaceTiming me is for platinum members only.

Trending via TikTok:

You’re no Sultan of Swing, buddy, you’re hardly a Governor of Groove.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Went to the gym two days in a row. This is a fitness account now.

Trending via LinkedIn:

The older I get, the more I understand why people live in the woods and talk to squirrels.

Making waves on Twitch:

Tired of looking at a bad screen. Can’t wait to get home and look at a good screen.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just sitting on the couch googling if penguins have knees.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Nobody’s more stubborn than an Android person that won’t switch to iPhone.

Funny eviction notice quotes

New funny eviction notice quotes 👇

All funny eviction notice quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on YouTube this month:

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

90 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The fact that I procrastinate and still get the job done is the reason I still procrastinate.

85 shares on X this month:

There’s no better feeling than coming home and immediately changing into your Adam Sandler fit.

38 shares on WeChat this month:

My bear’s diarrhea problems are really starting to worry me. The vet says he’s getting better but he’s not out of the woods yet.

56 shares on Twitch this month:

My life advice is always the same. Wait for karma, but take up kickboxing, just in case.

35 shares on Facebook this month:

How dare you say I’m crazy on the eve of my cat’s wedding?

59 shares on Snapchat this month:

Be the reason why a count unleashes ancient horrors onto the world when he thinks of you.

73 shares on YouTube this month:

Online dating is stupid because scent is such an important factor of attraction.

47 shares on WeChat this month:

The urge to say “yeah, you should do that”, especially when you have no clue.

87 shares on Slack this month:

My tapeworm is starting a podcast about the McRib.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Doing my bit for the evolution of the human race by eating lots of carbs and never exercising. We will adapt!

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I want to run through your dreams and settle in your nightmares.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

You should be able to call in sad to work.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate world events. I have problems of my own to worry about.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Scrolling to your birth year is a humiliation ritual.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Every girl has a dude in her inbox talking to himself.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Normalize asking if this is an intervention whenever someone invites you over.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Both my wife and my doctor said no more jumping on the bed. But they don’t get it. They don’t know what it’s like to live with the Monkey Instinct.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

As per my last curse, I have no interest in this.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,771

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

“Doing the dishes” is completely pointless and only wastes water. You’re just going to put food on them again in a few hours.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

The closest I get to a spa day is when I’m draining pasta, and the steam smacks me in the face.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Notice how Lorde has a song called “Tennis Court” and not “Pickleball Court”? Tired of y’all pushing that fake sport.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Actually, men should take the pill. It makes more sense to unload the gun than to shoot at a bulletproof vest.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

The ‘E’ in my name stands for ‘Everything you need.’

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

I’ve been called a lot of things in my life, but nothing worse than being called on the phone.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

I drink all this water and for what. Just to pee? This planet is a prison.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can’t eat or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

There should be a three-day weekend: one day to do nothing, one day to do something, and one day to do laundry.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

I am on a diet where you just speak Italian: “Pasta,” “Pizza,” and “I’m leaving Rooma for dessert.”

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

Having an exorcism, but only because the demon requested it.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

How to write complaints: “Dear customer service, first of all, you should know that I am typing this with my middle finger.”

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

It’s Monday. Please lower your voice and expectations.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I watch “Law and Order” so much that when I turn off the TV, I wipe my fingerprints off the remote.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I had no social life in high school. Even my imaginary best friend had a date for the prom.

Just landed via WeChat:

Sometimes I wanna delete all my social media and throw my phone into a river.

Trending via Slack:

We go together like Drunk and Disorderly.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

German couples probably have less arguments because there’s an exact word for, “I’m fine, just annoyed you forgot the milk again”.

Just landed via WeChat:

Love is in the air fryer.

Just landed via X:

BREAKING: OpenAI to partner with OpenAI to help fund OpenAI. OpenAI up 90%.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴