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107 Funny expectation quotes

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  • One day I’ll do amazing things. Today I’ll be satisfied if I don’t spill food on my lap.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the eternal struggle between ambition and practicality. Who needs grandiose dreams when you can master the art of eating without making a mess? Baby steps towards greatness, my friend, baby steps.”

  • When I say “I’m open to feedback” I mean “I accept compliments.”

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the classic ‘I’m open to feedback’ dance – where compliments waltz in and critiques get the cold shoulder. It’s like saying you’re open to new Netflix recommendations when all you really want is someone to tell you how great your taste in shows is. Keep those compliments coming, feedback can wait in the green room!”

  • TV lead me to believe grave digging would be a lot easier.

    Commentary:
    Well, it seems like whoever said that quote must have been sorely disappointed when they realized that grave digging doesn’t come with commercial breaks or a laugh track! TV really does have a way of making everything look so effortless, doesn’t it? Remember, always take TV portrayals with a grain of salt – especially when it comes to unconventional career choices!

  • My bad for thinking everyone has common sense.

    Commentary:
    “Apologies for overestimating the commonness of sense… 🤦‍♂️ Next time, I’ll lower my expectations to ‘barely-there sense’ level! 🤪”

  • Everyone’s a gangster until their doorbell rings.

    Commentary:
    “Every gangster’s bravado fades away when the ominous ding-dong of the doorbell echoes through the house. 🚪🔔 It’s the ultimate reality check of adulthood – answer the door or live in denial as a reclusive mob boss! 😂”

  • Welcome to your 40’s: it’s ten years of people saying “wait until you’re 50”.

    Commentary:
    Ah, the fabulous 40s – where you finally feel like you’ve got it all together, only to have your friends and family gleefully remind you that the fun is just getting started! 🎉😅 Just keep on thriving and ignore the naysayers, because we all know age is just a number! 😉🎂 #LifeBeginsAt40 #AgeIsJustANumber

  • When I was a kid, I never expected the future to suck this much.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the naivety of youth! 🧒🏻 If only our past selves could see us now, drowning in responsibilities and adulting struggles. Welcome to the grand façade of adulthood, where bills are aplenty, and the future is as unpredictable as the weather forecast! ☀️🌧️ #AdultingIsHard”

  • You tell people you’re not trying to drink and they act like you just turned down 100k.

    Commentary:
    🤣 “When you decline that drink like a boss and suddenly everyone is questioning your life choices! Who knew sobriety could be in such high demand? It’s like you just declined a winning lottery ticket! 💰 Cheers to being a party pooper, I mean, responsible adult! 🥤 #LifeChoices”

  • Seriously? I came out of hibernation for this?

    Commentary:
    Oh, the disappointment of waking up from a cozy snooze only to find yourself in a less-than-impressive situation 🐻😂 Seriously, could they not have sprung for something a bit more exciting? #HibernationRegrets

  • Netflix be like “we know exactly what movie you talkin’ ’bout but we ain’t got it lol”.

    Commentary:
    Netflix: *pops up with a suggestion* “We sense your cravings for that elusive movie you can’t find… but we’ll just keep it safely tucked away in the mystery vault 😏🎥 #NetflixMysteries”

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