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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

What’s a beginner question to ask for someone just getting into being nosy?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Establish dominance over your cat by suddenly bolting out of the room for no reason.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

I enjoy the freedom of speech, because if you let crazy people talk, they’ll totally tell you they’re crazy.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Don’t scare me, I fart easily.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Scared to go on dates, cause what if I find the one and never be able to be single again.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

I can’t believe that it’s our turn to give money to our nephews and nieces.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

I love when people say, “It is what it is,” like they just discovered stoicism.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

When you try to be humble and say it’s no big deal and they agree with you.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Men with bibles names be the worst type of people.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Hey there, Delilah, we know you broke that dude’s heart.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,663

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Twitch:

Customers will say shit like, “Uhh, it’s asking me to remove my card?”

Seen just now on Twitch:

People who like sweet potato fries can’t be taken seriously and deserve shame and ridicule.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I am not “quiet quitting”, I am suffering from third-degree burnout.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I don’t have any generational wealth but I did inherit a great spaghetti sauce recipe.

Just shared via Instagram:

I hate it when what’s wrong asks me what’s wrong.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I was once told that if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. Due to this, I’ve been observing a vow of silence since 1997.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Going to work has backfired on me so many times.

Making waves on X:

Just eating the emotional support snickers bar in my purse. How about you?

Just landed via Pinterest:

But have you tried getting slow neck kisses and soft ear whispers about it?

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Any porn site that allows comments is instantly funny because, like, why is that there.

Funny fatherhood quotes

Funny fatherhood quotes capture the hilarious side of parenting. 👨‍👧‍👦🤣 From sleepless nights to unexpected dad jokes, these quotes highlight the lighter moments of being a father. Embrace the humor and celebrate the ups and downs of fatherhood with these funny fatherhood quotes! 😂👨‍👦‍👦

New funny fatherhood quotes 👇

All funny fatherhood quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on Reddit this month:

Armed robbers are so weird. Why are you beating me when I don’t have money?

98 shares on Telegram this month:

You couldn’t pay me to do this year again.

36 shares on Instagram this month:

At this point, the only thing that can heal me is memory loss.

91 shares on Discord this month:

Starting your day with an early morning run is a great way to make sure your day can’t get any worse than it started.

20 shares on Telegram this month:

Adulting has stunned me into silence. I have no thoughts, no remarks and no commentary at the moment.

59 shares on TikTok this month:

We’d never met, or even spoken, but I could tell just from gazing into her pale blue eyes I had stepped on her toe.

33 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sometimes I have to turn off the news and put on a true crime documentary, so I can relax.

28 shares on YouTube this month:

Me, waiting on an email: What the hell is taking so long, this is ridiculous. Me, sending an email: this can probably wait another three weeks or so.

55 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My wife’s resolution to yell at the kids less has just taken a very bad turn.

99 shares on TikTok this month:

If I ever become a ghost, I’m gonna go back and haunt college me. Tell him to hydrate.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not so sure anymore.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I went from dancing with myself in the 80s to talking to myself now.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

We are the last generation of programmers who know the deadly feeling of seeing the exact problem in our code, on Stack Overflow, with 0 answers.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My keys fell in the snow, and now they’re gone forever — time to start a new life under a new name in a warmer climate.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Every morning when that damn alarm clock goes off, I just feel it so much: A million-dollar inheritance suits me much better than an office job.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

This tape doesn’t even taste like scotch.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Thinking of telling my extra weight that I love it so that it can leave me too.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

“My reading glasses would look good on your nightstand.” -Me, flirting.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If I say I love you, it’s just the apocalypse talking.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody watches you harder than people who don’t like you, so give them a show they will never forget.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,507

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

If you like Christmas so much, why don’t you merry it?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

I be outside telling people I don’t got social media when they ask.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

I like my men like I like my coffee, secretly alcoholic.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Computers used to scream out in pain when we connected to the internet. This was a warning and we did not heed it.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Starting the second half of your sandwich is like “hell yeah, baby, let’s run it back!”

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

My sex face is the same as my first pee in three hours face.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Watching 2+ movies a day to prevent a thought from happening.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

And for my next trick, I’m going to make this first date the last date.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Sure the Lego botanical sets are great but dusting them is another story.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I’ve decided to handle this like a mature adult, I’m telling your mom.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I really want an emotional support octopus so I can train it to slap people and shoplift.

Spotted on Instagram:

Me: Do you have the movie I want to watch? Netflix: No, but we have hundreds of movies that you don’t want to watch!

Shared recently on Telegram:

The easiest way to shop with kids is not to.

Just shared via X:

I’m not religious but I know there’s a hell because Monopoly exists.

Seen just now on Discord:

How silly of me to forget that I am the love of my life.

Spotted on Snapchat:

My kidnappers sent me back early with a full apology, some money, and several of their fingers.

Freshly posted on X:

You didn’t let me know you got home safely so you better at least be injured or I’m gonna be pissed.

Trending via Threads:

Hot girls have a private Instagram account with 20 followers.

Just shared via Telegram:

Popping your head in the cockpit and saying, “Anywhere here will do, chief.

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