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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry I roasted you, I was trying to flirt.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

The toughest part of being a vegan is keeping it to yourself.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

I don’t go crazy. I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

She was rare. Like a meth head with good teeth.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

True luxury is sleeping until you wake up by yourself.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

I don’t even know what I’d do if a sailor called me a landlubber. I’d probably lose my cool.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Don’t throw hate at me, throw money!

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

I remember when Britain used to be so rich, you’d be embarrassed to go into a Lidl or Aldi.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Do we barbecue with women or without salad?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Sex before marriage is a sin unless you do it doggy style, because all dogs go to heaven. Follow me for more biblical loopholes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,284

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

Boys are disgusting. Can’t believe I like these things.

Making waves on Pinterest:

People be like “bear with me” and they don’t even have a bear with them.

Making waves on Discord:

White guys have a slur for other white guys they don’t respect, it’s called ‘buddy.’

Going bananas on X:

Mood to play music louder than my thoughts.

Seen just now on Discord:

Really miss the drama of being able to angrily shut a flip phone.

Making waves on Threads:

Being a girl must be so easy. All you do is cry all day and text 10 different guys.

Seen just now on TikTok:

My boss said he likes how I remain so calm under pressure. Can’t tell him it’s because I don’t give a shit.

Going viral on Messenger:

You were promised to me 3,000 years ago.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode them bikes when we were younger.

Spotted on Slack:

The fact that I have a lot of wine in the house proves that I don’t drink much. Otherwise the wine would be gone.

Funny favorite combo quotes

New funny favorite combo quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on Pinterest this month:

Someone from Facebook Marketplace is coming over to either buy the chairs I have for sale, or to murder me.

24 shares on WeChat this month:

I was a nothingburger to him, but he was an everything bagel to me…

37 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you ever find yourself mad at me, put a cape on so you can be super mad.

98 shares on LinkedIn this month:

One day I will start learning from my mistakes. Today is not that day. Tomorrow isn’t looking so good either.

39 shares on Slack this month:

My life is constantly oscillating between “must save money” and “you only live once”.

57 shares on X this month:

Only a fool would use the toothbrush the dentist gives you. You think the dentist would freely hand you the tools that would keep them away?

42 shares on Facebook this month:

My boyfriend talks to everyone while I stand by quietly, planning my escape.

98 shares on Telegram this month:

There’s no better feeling than coming home and immediately changing into your Adam Sandler fit.

61 shares on X this month:

I just want someone who will treat me like a lady and hold the refrigerator door open for me.

72 shares on WeChat this month:

I tried yoga once. I pulled a hamstring and my dignity.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

One thing that sucks about being grown-up is not being able to say, “My mom said no,” when you don’t want someone to come over.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Before I die, I’m going to arrange for a friend to take my phone, and after the funeral, text everybody to say “thanks for coming” and other assorted messages of appreciation.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If there is a God and He “loves” us, then explain snakes.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder what other animals we tried to ride before discovering that horses were cool with it.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not saying I’m old. I’m just saying that my dinner time and bedtime are getting dangerously close to each other.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Back in the good old days, we didn’t have to trim our toenails, they just got wore down naturally from running from dinosaurs.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your clothes are still in the washing machine.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t worry. Artificial intelligence will never replace actual ignorance.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The only talent I have is spending more than I bring in.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine hating on me and I’m just sitting there in the corner, in the spotlight, losing my religion.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,745

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Ghost stories sound way scarier with an English accent.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

I was blinded by a goddamn deer with a shiny red nose… No, officer, I haven’t been drinking.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m a work in progress that hasn’t made much progress.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Money does not buy happiness, but it’s better to cry in a sports car than on a bicycle.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

We’re living in increasingly unfergalicious times.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Only people who grew up before the internet will remember these: spelling, grammar and punctuation.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

My favorite part of The Godfather is when the guy wakes up and screams because the Mafia has stolen the bottom half of the horse he keeps in his bed.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Going to look at the small picture for a while. Tired of seeing the big picture. Too much picture.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

I regret to inform you that we must all once again figure out what to make for dinner tonight.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Congrats to my tween for graduating at the top of his class from eye roll university.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

Google AI is awesome because it kills the planet and doesn’t work.

Going viral on Facebook:

Toddlers: the brutally honest roommates nobody asked for!

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I don’t need a maid. I just need someone to tell me once a week that they’re coming to visit, and I’ll panic-clean my entire house in less than an hour.

Seen just now on X:

People be like “bear with me” and they don’t even have a bear with them.

Just landed via Reddit:

Mini skirts are so cute and fun, like, oops, my ass is out.

Making waves on Slack:

She’s got style, she’s got grace, she crams french fries in her face.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I’m eating sandwiches you haven’t heard of in jeans you can’t pronounce.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

What do you call it when everything pisses you off but you’re good at not murdering people?

Seen just now on Threads:

(guy who’s not even that into you) I love you.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

My intern was born in 2007. I have unread emails older than that.

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