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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

I’m so sick of these little 30-minute weekends.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

How are they running out of oxygen if they’re breathing it right back into the submarine?

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Your honor, my client wasn’t trying to stab the victim. He was checking to see if he was cake.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

As a proud husband and father in my 40s, my New Year’s resolution is to sneeze even louder this year.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Wolves should really raise more people.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

How can vampires enjoy drinking our hot blood in the summer and other thoughts that keep me up at night.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Be careful when you follow the masses sometimes the M is silent.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

“This too shall pass.” And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never f**king ends.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

For whom the doom scrolls!

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Yeah, I work at the fart bar. Yup. I’m a fartender. Farts on me tonight!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

804 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,966

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,966

Updated

13 minutes ago

Users Online

3,429

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

My career goal is to be able to just delete my LinkedIn account at some point.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I’d have to do.

Going viral on Messenger:

“Made with love,” means I licked the spoon and kept using it.

Reported on X:

“At your big age” is one of my favorite insults.

Trending via Threads:

Turns out I like you a lot more than I originally planned.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I’ve got a soft heart and a savage mouth. I’m like a Hallmark card written by Gordon Ramsay.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Vote for me and I’ll remove all the calories from cheese.

Freshly posted on Threads:

The worst thing you can do when cleaning your house is “sit down for a minute.”

Trending via Instagram:

You ever feel awkward in Target, cause you know you belong at Walmart.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Your skull is the only thing preventing your brain from floating away, unburdened as it is by any meaningful thought to anchor it.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

804 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,966

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,966

Updated

13 minutes ago

Users Online

3,441

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

I’m capable of doing a lot of things but listening to people chew their food is not one of them.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

I’ve touched enough cacti to know they are sharp, but also not enough to stop touching cacti.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

After much deliberation, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m an overthinker.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

I think some outfits just aren’t meant to be worn unless you’re getting straight into a car.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Common sense is so rare these days that it should be considered a superpower.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Everybody is fighting a battle that you don’t know about, because of the first rule of Fight Club.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

They expect me to work at work.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

I love being a pretty woman because it widens the threshold for cringe-worthy things I can say.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

I like liking Instagram stories because I like pressing buttons.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

This is about the time of year where my enthusiasm about shoveling snow turns into “it will probably melt on it’s own”.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I no longer need an alarm clock because I’m over 40 and have a bladder.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I’m not tispy. I’m merry.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I woke up from a deep sleep in a panic thinking I was late for work. Thankfully, I was already there.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I see 1000 girls. I know 100 girls. I talk to 10 girls. I love 1 girl. And she doesn’t love me back.

Trending via Snapchat:

Gonna take the kids to the planetarium so they can watch YouTube on their phones.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I don’t have a welcome mat at my front door because I’m not a liar.

Trending via Slack:

Self-cleaning conscience.

Trending via Reddit:

Be warned: I’m bored. This could get dangerous.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I’m 6 donuts away from being the elephant in the room.

Just shared via YouTube:

When Dr. Seuss wrote, “Oh, The Places You’ll Go,” he did not consider how comfortable my couch would be.

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