Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

If I ever say “with all due respect”, please understand that there is none.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Sometimes I’m just so exhausted I have to go to bed and scroll my phone for the next 2-3 hours.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

I could be a masseuse, or I could just be pulling your leg.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Some parents are blessed with amazing kids and others have kids that decide to learn the trumpet.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

This is actually worse than Biff Tennan’s future.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Jesus turned water into wine. I turn food into fertilizer. We are not the same.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

I love hard, but I stupid harder.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

One or the other, Lord – I can’t be broke and heartbroken.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

I’m the friend who shows up with a shovel and an alibi.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

“Those tattoos will make it harder to get a job!” Okay, well so will my personality.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

Updated

44 minutes ago

Users Online

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Before sleeping, most people will imagine stuff they want to happen. Like sleeping.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I don’t understand people who say “I don’t know how to thank you.” Like they never heard of money.

Live now on Twitch:

Dear people who talk on speakerphone out in public. Everyone around you hates you.

Just shared via Messenger:

Sorry it took so long to text you back; my social bandwidth was buffering.

Spotted on Facebook:

People complain about jury duty as if listening to true crime all day and being sequestered at night isn’t secretly every mother’s fantasy.

Going viral on Messenger:

Cartoons make it look like getting stabbed in the butt with a pitchfork would be no big deal, but I beg to differ.

Spotted on TikTok:

Starting drama with me the week before my period is an absolutely terrible idea – for you.

Spotted on Snapchat:

No, I didn’t eat enough protein today, but I did think of you with enough intensity to generate new muscle tissue in my heart.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest.

Seen just now on Discord:

My therapist says he can’t take any more of my talk and that I should join a group. So, here I am.

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Funny first world war quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

Updated

44 minutes ago

Users Online

3,437

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

My boyfriend talks to everyone while I stand by quietly, planning my escape.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

And what do we do when we are sad? “Add to cart”

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

I don’t need the web for attention, I jog in a wedding dress.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

When I see chocolate, I hear two voices inside me. One says: “Eat it!”. The other says: “Did you hear that? You’re supposed to eat it!”

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

The only way to forget the mistakes you made in the past is to make even bigger and graver mistakes in the present.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

The only squat I’m even considering doing today is diddly.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

A dating app that matches people by the conspiracy theories they are interested in.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

I never argue, I just explain why I’m right.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

90% of parenting is wondering when you can lie down again.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

I’m at a point in life where I’m just at a point.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

If I would’ve known that you were going to ask me what I was thinking, I wouldn’t have been thinking what I was thinking.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

My mouth moves faster than my survival instincts.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Don’t forget to overestimate your importance today.

Spotted on Slack:

“You’ve changed!” Yeah, I don’t like you.

Trending via Slack:

That moment when you’ve gone through Insta, Facebook, X and the new emails and you know you should start working now. Luckily, there’s YouTube.

Making waves on Telegram:

Some things are better left unsaid, which I usually realize after I say them.

Spotted on Reddit:

Arguing through text will have you standing in one spot for 40 mins.

Just landed via Threads:

If I were a billionaire, I wouldn’t build rockets to escape to Mars. I would build rockets to make everyone else leave Earth.

Just landed via Facebook:

One day you’re young and carefree and the next, you’re preheating the bathroom before you go in for a shower.

Spotted on WeChat:

Welcome to your 40s. “I’m too old for this shit” is now your excuse and explanation for everything.

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