Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Dear LOL, thanks for being there when I have nothing else to say.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Some days you’re the quick brown fox and other days you’re the lazy dog.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

It’s the weekend, so naturally, I’m going to spend 48 hours doing nothing, and still be exhausted.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

My daily exercise routine involves running late, jumping to conclusions and pushing my luck.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Who’s your favorite horror director? Mine’s God.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

If Facebook has taught us anything it’s that a lot of people aren’t quite ready for a spelling bee.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

We got the Christmas tree yesterday, and now my wife knows that I was the chief architect working on the leaning tower of Pisa.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

I don’t know much, but I do know melancholia is a way cooler diagnosis than depression.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

English is so fake. How can you drink a drink, but you can’t food a food?

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

For a guy with no reflection, Dracula’s eyeliner is always flawless.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,547

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

If you love a friend, let them go. If they come back with coffee, it was meant to be.

Going viral on Telegram:

There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after a vacation.

Making waves on Telegram:

I have many talents, all equally un-monetizable.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Aliens only abduct the people that are already nuts so no one will believe them when they try and tell everyone.

Just landed via Threads:

You can count the number of times my wife has agreed with me on one hand, if you don’t have fingers.

Just landed via Discord:

At the beginning of a relationship, people call their partner’s odd behavior “cute little quirks”. Some years later, the police call it “motive”.

Making waves on Instagram:

Website: We use cookies to improve our performance. Me: Same!

Live now on Snapchat:

UNO is based on luck unless I win, then it’s based on strategy, and I’m a genius.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

All I’m saying is, there are too many songs about love and not enough songs about evenly layered nachos.

Making waves on Telegram:

You’ve agreed to go out with me, so that’s going to immediately count against you.

Funny getting dressed quotes

Funny getting dressed quotes bring a splash of humor to your morning routine 👗😂 Whether you’re struggling to find the perfect outfit or just can’t decide between comfy and stylish, these witty lines will have you laughing through the chaos 👚👠 Get ready to embrace the madness of fashion with a smile and maybe even a little dance in front of the mirror 💃✨ Dressing up has never been this entertaining!

New funny getting dressed quotes 👇

All funny getting dressed quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Daily reminder that you’re biologically programmed to get laid, eat good food, connect with other humans, and enjoy yourself. Everything else is literally made up.

87 shares on Facebook this month:

The first Saw movie should have been called Footloose.

17 shares on Threads this month:

I called the cops on my own party once because I was ready to go to bed.

17 shares on Reddit this month:

If there is a God and He “loves” us, then explain snakes.

89 shares on WeChat this month:

Sick and tired of these 30 mins weekends.

97 shares on Twitch this month:

I’ve heard that some people have kids who sleep through the night and I’d like to know if they use tranquilizers or chloroform.

69 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m an adult, but not the ‘makes positive life choices’ kind.

65 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The one thing to know about me is I always get the last laugh. And oh yes, it’s maniacal.

33 shares on Messenger this month:

We went on a family vacation and it was a terrible experience. It was all whining, complaining, and tantrums. And don’t get me started on what my kids did.

15 shares on Discord this month:

Hate when I view someone’s story, and it’s their birthday.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Anything is an appetizer if you eat more food after.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone wants a drunk text until I’m doing it at noon.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

They say half the battle of getting in shape is mental, so I thought about the gym really hard today.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s strange that we say time is a great healer when it kills 100% of people.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

When they have a dream sequence in a movie, how do they film the person’s dream?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I don’t worry about things at all and other times I am awake.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Drink coffee, avoid idiots, read books and repeat.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Drove by a woman with her car broke down, I was going to stop and help until I remembered I don’t know anything about cars or women.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe I’ll quit so I can focus on summer.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 50s. If you don’t have a mysterious ailment, one will be assigned to you shortly.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,304

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

If you’re curious what the priciest item in a store is just bring a kid along because they’ll definitely find then break it.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Never wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Getting tired without doing anything is an art form.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Monday? But, I wasn’t even finished with Saturday yet.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

“You’re under the weather?” We all are, idiot. It’s in the sky.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

I typed my name into Google’s search bar and it immediately auto-filled to “Doesn’t even listen to instructions” before crashing under the weight of disappointed search results.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

I just saw someone on TikTok say that the reason the world didn’t end in 2012 is because Psy turned the Honmoon gold with Gangnam Style.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Everyone hates on the dentist but at least they don’t try to weigh you.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

If you’re going through hell, keep going.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

I’m a “I have an appointment later, so I can’t do anything else for the rest of the day” kind of person.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Plot Twist: Your taxes cheated on you.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Met a microbiologist once. They’re a lot bigger than I imagined.

Live now on Reddit:

Spotify Wrapped? Next year, maybe you should try to be in the top .05% of listeners to your girlfriend.

Just shared via Facebook:

The Airbnb reviews never tell you how comfortable the toilets are for falling asleep on.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

When I say “I’m open to feedback” I mean “I accept compliments.”

Spotted on Twitch:

No longer chasing dreams. If they want me, they know where I nap.

Making waves on YouTube:

Every time I stand up, my dog gets excited as hell. He understands that I’m a real man who can make shit happen at any given moment.

Breaking via Messenger:

We seriously need to bring back courting. What the hell is ‘wyd tonight?’ Arrive on a horse and bring flowers like a man.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I didn’t mean to gain weight. It happened by snaccident.

Just landed via Reddit:

The holidays may be over by my work ethic is still out of the office.

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