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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Stop blaming others for your mistakes. Study Feng Shui and blame the furniture.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Fun fact: Malcolm X was not his birth name. He was originally Malcolm Twitter.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Whoever came up with the name “dentures” really missed the opportunity to call them “substitooths”.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Sorry I’m late — I was standing in the shower, thinking about stuff.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

You unfollow me because you are afraid of falling in love with me. I know!

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Stay an extra hour in the office and no one cares. Arrive a few minutes late and everyone loses their minds.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

There are two wolves inside me, but please no one tell my landlord.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

Sorry boys, but I’ve already got my eyes on a guy who’s not interested.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

Mercury is no longer in retrograde, so never trust a cow because the sun can’t swim.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Watching “Dirty Dancing” as a teenager: Damn right, no one puts Baby in a corner. Watching “Dirty Dancing” as an adult: This girl is a brat and needs a lesson.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1833 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,995

Funny Quotes Topics

14,796

Funny Quotes Images

11,995

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,428

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Christmas decor isn’t meant to be sleek and minimalist, it is supposed to look like joy threw up in your house.

Seen just now on TikTok:

If you breakdance you buy dance.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I am awake and ready to be disappointed.

Making waves on Twitch:

Taking my heart off my sleeve, I fold it up neatly and carefully place it back inside my chest.

Making waves on Instagram:

Imagine marrying an old man for money and you die first.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Good news: I set an all time high today! Bad news: It’s my cholesterol.

Making waves on Instagram:

Dinosaurs are always described as “roaming” the earth, which is patronizing as hell, I bet they had places to go and important shit to do.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Children really brighten up a home. They never turn the lights off, …

Going viral on WeChat:

People keep inviting me to stuff. I miss the pandemic.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1833 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,995

Funny Quotes Topics

14,796

Funny Quotes Images

11,995

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,433

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

I don’t like people driving fast—that’s the reason why I overtake them.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Went for a walk. Very pleasant evening. The squirrels and rabbits kept running away from me. That stung a little. I will remember their faces.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and share if you agree.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

You’re really hot. Wanna share microplastics?

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have started asking humans to prove that they are not robots.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

This is my emotional support online shopping cart.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Jeez. It’s like the people in this nursing home have never heard techno before.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Long sandwiches should have suitcase handles.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

When people tell me “you’re going to regret that in the morning”, I sleep until noon because I am a problem solver.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

I had a hard time coping with the divorce. I’m fine now, but at first I was almost crazy with joy.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Putting together a piece of furniture today, so my kids are about to learn swear words that haven’t even been invented yet.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Introverts have fun, too — we just don’t care if you know.

Making waves on Reddit:

Super quick question: does anyone know what the point is?

Spotted on Messenger:

Saw someone from high school. She said she hadn’t seen me in years. That’s likely because I’d always seen her first.

Making waves on WeChat:

You don’t really see women throwing their boyfriend’s stuff out the window anymore.

Trending via LinkedIn:

People say “go big or go home” like going home is a bad thing. Heck yeah, I want to go home, and I’ll have a nap when I get there.

Just shared via X:

I hope your spoon slides into your soup.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Some people are like sunglasses: your day just becomes so much brighter when you accidentally drop them off the side of the boat.

Making waves on Messenger:

Old people get so mad when you’re young and tired.

Going viral on Telegram:

Why does everyone always think that I know what I’m doing? Most of the time I watch myself in amazement and am curious to see what happens.

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