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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

So I just googled my symptoms, turns out I’m addicted to you.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

(Making small talk with a couple) So have you guys ever cheated on each other?

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Who needs an alarm clock when you have a bladder.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

What are y’all gonna do when those labubus come to life and start biting y’alls ankles?

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

I should go to jail so I can focus on the gym.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

You should be able to call in sad to work.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

I’m so hungry, I could eat my own cooking.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

If I was a little smarter, I’d be aware of how stupid I am.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

I hope this email finds you at relative peace with the paradox of existence.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,807

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

My housemates are convinced our house is haunted. I’ve lived here for 274 years and not noticed anything strange.

Going viral on Slack:

There are drug-sniffing dogs, guide dogs, dogs that save lives. And then there’s my dog, who hits the lead when he poops.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

All the fruit flies are well-behaved near the garbage, only one is constantly nagging somewhere else because it thinks it has to discover new lands.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

You ever just see a tree and be like, “Bob Ross would’ve liked this one”?

Going viral on Pinterest:

(at an incredibly low point in my life) I should start dating again.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

The spelling of “bourgeoisie” was intended as yet another means of oppression.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

If I was on Love Island, I wouldn’t be fighting anyone or starting drama. I would just be playing mermaids in the pool the whole time. They’ve got that giant, beautiful pool, and nobody’s using it.

Trending via Instagram:

Wearing shorts and my pale legs screamed at the sensation of sunlight like vampires.

Spotted on Facebook:

69 but we both just farting.

Just landed via Reddit:

Love Island is fun, but when is Job Island on?

Home » Funny Gift Guide Quotes

Funny gift guide quotes

New funny gift guide quotes 👇

Every gift guide for men is like “A flannel flask to hold your knife flavored whiskey.”

0

2 months ago

every, flannel, flask, gift, gift guide, guide, hold, humor, knife, men, satire, whiskey

All funny gift guide quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on Threads this month:

Cleaning the rocks of the earth one load of my kids’ laundry at a time.

67 shares on Facebook this month:

Am I the only one who prays about everything? Like, ‘God, please help me find where I dropped my AirPods.’

38 shares on Snapchat this month:

Deleted all dating apps, instead I’m just going to walk into a grocery store and look confused.

10 shares on Twitch this month:

The number one rule of Thanksgiving dinner is take your own vehicle so you can leave on your own terms.

78 shares on TikTok this month:

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and I’m like, cool, can one of you reach the top shelf for me.

68 shares on YouTube this month:

Computers used to scream out in pain when we connected to the internet. This was a warning and we did not heed it.

83 shares on YouTube this month:

My patience is like a gift card, not sure how much is left but lets give it a try.

44 shares on Pinterest this month:

I dreamed I won the lottery, so you can imagine how thrilled I was to wake up and get ready for work.

83 shares on Instagram this month:

I mostly keep friendships going because they have my good Tupperware.

79 shares on Twitch this month:

Ribbed condoms don’t even taste like ribs.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

I lied, there’s no sex. Can you tell me a bedtime story?

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

My favorite thing to do when I see people I know in public is to pretend I didn’t.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

I’m sick of diarrhea. I want to livarrhea.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

If I was an outlaw in the Wild West, my face would be on unwanted posters.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Having now listened to the entire song, I have to say there’s some obvious internal disagreement as to what the Hokey Pokey is all about.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Hey, so this Mercury retrograde is actually really demonic and soul-crippling. Let’s wrap this up by midnight.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

If you see my account doing wild or out-of-character things, no worries. It’s not me, I routinely rent it out as an Airbnb.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

I finally figured out my lifelong dream of becoming a human blanket, but my friends still call it napping on their couch.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

When you want to feel at your thinnest, walk through Walmart at any time of day.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

My toxic trait is destroying my room every time I get dressed.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

I’m still tired from yesterday’s tired.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Now that I’m in my mid-forties, I think I’ll take up parkour.

Making waves on Instagram:

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness simply didn’t know where to go shopping.

Shared recently on Slack:

You wake up at 6 a.m. and it’s like you have 48 hours instead of 24.

Shared recently on Reddit:

All women want is to consistently annoy one handsome man forever.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Life hack: Allow yourself 8–12 hours of alone time every morning to prepare for the day.

Going viral on Slack:

I had big plans to sleep in today, but my bladder canceled.

Shared recently on Threads:

That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything, and all you can think is: “Act normal, you are innocent.”

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

A moment of silence for everything I have to do but am not doing.

Seen just now on Threads:

It’s like ten thousand views when all you need is a like.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

Funny gift guide quotes

New funny gift guide quotes 👇

Every gift guide for men is like “A flannel flask to hold your knife flavored whiskey.”

All funny gift guide quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨