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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

I bet the person who named the fireplace also named the waterfall.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

The term “domestic housewife” implies the existence of a feral housewife and that is what I aspire to be.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Remembering my youth, and a time where I could breath out of more than one nostril at once.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Thursday is really unnecessary. Today could’ve been Friday.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Nothing more humbling than being at a karaoke birthday party with a bunch of singers.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Forget cheating, that’s young people’s shit. I’m ready to get married and have an affair.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Someone yelled “hey, retard!” and I looked back.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

I am awake. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

I’ll see you in court (at the marriage registry) (I love you)

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Trying to squeeze in more nothingness today, but my schedule is already packed with procrastination!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,459

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

The way my phone’s facial recognition pretends not to recognize me, you’d think I dated it.

Live now on Twitch:

I’ve been so stressed about getting my shit together that I haven’t gotten any of my shit together.

Going viral on Facebook:

If you think I’m rude, you should hear the voices in my head.

Just landed via Discord:

I’ve started ripping my shirt in half like Hulk Hogan when I mean business. Long story short, I’m looking for a new job.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Sleep well, middle finger—you’ve got a big day ahead of you tomorrow.

Making waves on WeChat:

“I’m gonna sneak past you.” No you’re not. You’ve alerted me.

Making waves on X:

In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place wieners and/or cheese slices in your pockets, so the search dogs will find you first.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

time heals all wounds.” Wrong! Time is chasing me with a knife.

Spotted on Messenger:

You’re not going to believe this, but I was doing really well, and then your email found me.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Apparently you’re not supposed to announce that there’s been a death in the family every time you kill a houseplant.

Funny gluten quotes

New funny gluten quotes 👇

Since I tolerate gluten and lactose well, I can afford a few intolerances in the interpersonal area.

0

2 months ago

afford, area, gluten, humor, i, interpersonal, irony, lactose, relationships, self-deprecation, tolerances, well

Someone from 🇧🇯 has recently bookmarked this quote.

113 shares on Slack this month.

All funny gluten quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on WeChat this month:

You’re no Sultan of Swing, buddy, you’re hardly a Governor of Groove.

26 shares on Pinterest this month:

The older I get, the less surprised I’d be if a random body part just fell off one day.

22 shares on X this month:

Being in college when The Chainsmokers dropped Closer was an experience to say the least.

59 shares on TikTok this month:

If I win the lottery, I’m buying four politicians and some really nice shoes.

98 shares on Instagram this month:

Can I be speaker? I’m pretty good at saying a lot without saying anything at all.

91 shares on Facebook this month:

Y’all shivering in this cold cause them Shein jackets made outta paper towels.

80 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Rock bottom should give me free sandwich and coffee for how often I hit it.

39 shares on Facebook this month:

I mostly stopped responding to emails three years ago, and aside from various consequences, it’s been fine.

69 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m not lazy, I’m an inactivist.

24 shares on YouTube this month:

I thought my friends in their 60s were making love in the other room but they were just putting on their socks.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

God: “Free will was a bad idea. I should have charged for it.”

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

One of the biggest struggles of being an adult is deciding what to make for supper. Every. Single. Night.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Sometimes people come into your life — and they need to stop doing that.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

I’m not talking to my husband and I don’t think he even knows it.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

I am an influencer. If you aren’t influenced in any way, that is on you. Do better.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it’s someone’s birthday and I like to celebrate.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger, but also a little grumpy.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

No, don’t worry about him, babe. That’s just my soulmate.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Some people exercise every day. Right now, I’m watching a show I don’t like because the remote fell on the floor.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

I don’t normally like to brag about expensive trips but I just got back from the grocery store.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

Gaslighting myself into thinking I’m in a good mood.

Seen just now on TikTok:

She didn’t leave you on read, bro. You left her on speechless.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Marriage is where you gasp while your husband is driving, and he gets super annoyed over and over.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Fall fashion: where we all transform into stylish, toasty marshmallows!

Seen just now on Messenger:

I’m so tired. Let’s see all of the horrible things happening in the world today before I try to sleep peacefully.

Making waves on Messenger:

Sometimes a man’s purpose is to simply remind you again and again that you’d be just fine on your own.

Trending via Pinterest:

My yoga instructor was drunk today. Put me in a very awkward position.

Making waves on Facebook:

If I worked for UPS, there would be a 100% chance I’m falling out that open door when I turn a corner too fast.

Trending via YouTube:

I’ve heard that people who don’t have Facebook use their free time to lie naked on top of each other. Ew, imagine that.

Just shared via Reddit:

I shall have another coffee, for I am sleeping standing.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny gluten quotes

New funny gluten quotes 👇

Since I tolerate gluten and lactose well, I can afford a few intolerances in the interpersonal area.

All funny gluten quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨