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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

I bet once Bigfoot tries cheeseburgers, he’s gonna wanna hangout with us all the time.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

I have 206 bones, 650 muscles and 50 billion cells in my body. It takes time to wake up all of them up in the morning.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves while he does.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Watching true crime documentaries so I can learn from their mistakes.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

The real advantage of being self-employed is that you don’t have to go to a Christmas party.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

I SAID YES!!!!!! after I asked myself if I wanted a breakfast burrito.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

My body is a machine that turns pizza into diarrhea.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Nothing prepares you for the day you wake up and realize you have a favorite cardigan.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

“You look nervous” Thanks, I’ve been practicing my whole life.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Satan: “I’d tell you to go to Hell, but I work there and don’t wanna see you everyday.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,901

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

Updated

2 hours ago

Users Online

3,417

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I am not “quiet quitting”, I am suffering from third-degree burnout.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I will selflessly protect my family from a life of diabetes by eating all the sweets myself.

Just shared via Slack:

I successfully avoided the red-eye flight and got the much milder pink eye flight.

Just shared via X:

I love asking 5 different people for advice then doing what I want.

Going viral on WeChat:

They should invent friends whose schedules line up with yours.

Just shared via Twitch:

German couples probably have less arguments because there’s an exact word for, “I’m fine, just annoyed you forgot the milk again”.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Deleting the paragraph you wrote and texting back “ok” is a different type of self-control.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Maybe I prefer my ducks scattered about.

Just shared via Twitch:

Hot girls have a private Instagram account with 20 followers.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Wolves are just dogs that nobody has called a “good boy” yet.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,901

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

Updated

2 hours ago

Users Online

3,442

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

At this point, Tom Cruise is a stuntman who does his own acting.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

People think I’m a minimalist, but I’m just broke.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Some people are wise; some are otherwise.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

I don’t have a welcome mat at my front door because I’m not a liar.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Can’t sleep because I keep finding exciting opportunities to get pissed off.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Don’t even get into my car if you’re just gonna scream every time I hit something.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

I’m running out of people I like.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

The web is the only place where you encourage strangers to follow you. What could possibly go wrong?

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Some days you’re the quick brown fox and other days you’re the lazy dog.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

I can’t wait to get married so I can bring home unnecessary stuff and get yelled at for it.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

If pills are too toxic to flush down the toilet, you probably shouldn’t swallow them.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

If I was a star and you were a star, I would wink at you and blink at you and twinkle at you and the earthlings would call it science.

Making waves on WeChat:

I hate when kids scream in public. You don’t have real problems. It should be me screaming.

Just landed via WeChat:

My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell. Well, he actually said “less McDonald’s”, but I’m pretty sure I know what he meant.

Breaking via Slack:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not exhausted, that’s just your face now.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

My home security system is just a copy of my paycheck taped to my front door.

Going viral on Threads:

The woman that cleaned my house could make a lot of money by threatening to release the before and after photos.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Judging by the hair on my couch, I’m surprised I have any cat left at all.

Just landed via YouTube:

Oh right, like you’ve never let your kids stay lost in a corn maze just a little longer.

Reported on Twitch:

The key to happiness: 1/ order a pizza. 2/ eat that pizza. 3/ repeat!

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