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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

With certain people, you get nauseous just hearing their name.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

“Have AI summarize this email for you!” No thanks, I can read what the person actually said in the way they intended.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Body: time to fall asleep. Brain: hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

“I’m depressed because there’s not enough cheese in this world to satisfy my hunger for it.”

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

I hate to brag, but I’ve been the biggest mistake of numerous people’s lives.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

You can’t hurt me. You’re not how I look first thing in the morning.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Seems like the mosquitoes swiped right on me.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Nobody lures you into a gingerbread house in the forest anymore.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

I love when my brain cells kiss and I have an idea.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

We’ve had far more storms since we started naming them. We’re giving them the attention they crave. Just call it needy wind.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,383

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

Who decided that skeletons are scary? Because honestly, I’d be more scared if the muscular system suddenly walked into my room.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

May you heal from that fanfic that never got updated.

Shared recently on WeChat:

If your drinking story doesn’t involve law enforcement, I’m not listening.

Spotted on Messenger:

Normalize saying, “I’m not informed enough to have an opinion on the matter.”

Spreading quickly via Threads:

The worst part about getting sucked up by the tornado you’re filming is to die knowing your wife was right. You are an idiot.

Trending via Messenger:

Good morning. Does anyone know what is right and what is wrong?

Spotted on YouTube:

The only joke my mom ever made was me.

Trending via Slack:

I swear the air gets heavier around 6 p.m. on Sundays. You can feel the Microsoft Teams energy approaching.

Just shared via Reddit:

Kind of miraculous how much love can be summoned and how much your day can be improved by just looking at an animal and saying stuff in a weird voice.

Trending via Reddit:

Fifty shades of I miss you.

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Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on Telegram this month:

Can you check if my lips taste like cherries?

94 shares on WeChat this month:

9am: anything is possible. 2pm: maybe tomorrow.

31 shares on Snapchat this month:

The problem with salad is, it’s salad.

98 shares on Snapchat this month:

I have a condition that prevents me from dieting. It’s called being hungry.

84 shares on Snapchat this month:

It’s not my job to tell people where they’re failing in life. It’s just a hobby.

40 shares on Reddit this month:

Fun fact: the creator of Barbie and the creator of Hot Wheels were husband and wife.

17 shares on TikTok this month:

Lucky for me, I don’t have enough friends for an intervention.

79 shares on Messenger this month:

Alligators can live up to 100 years which is why there is an increased chance that they will see you later.

80 shares on Snapchat this month:

My problem is, I wanna be the only one at the gym when I go.

23 shares on Instagram this month:

Once this pandemic ends, I’m legit quitting video games and getting a girlfriend for real.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Why hasn’t Lululemon created a bra-line named Lulumelons?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so toxic, I can fight for a relationship I don’t even want.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m glad cars were invented. Imagine riding a horse at 3 a.m., coming back from the club.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

My New Years resolutions are to do some things, and stop doing some other things.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The problem with “treat yourself” is that I don’t know how to stop. I had a bad day in March, and I’ve been treating myself ever since.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Money doesn’t impress me. Giving it to me does.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If you get drunk and message your ex, don’t worry. When you wake up, send bitcoin ads and pretend you were hacked.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The sweater is an item of clothing that a child has to wear when parents are cold.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

You can do laundry every day and still be behind on laundry.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If I could go back in time, I’d probably stop Bruce Willis from saving us from that asteroid.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,652

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Growing your own tomatoes really is the best way to devote 3 months of your life to saving $2.17.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

The day they handed out patience, I left because it was taking too long.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

5pm on a Friday: call me a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I’m not working.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

I am convinced that at least half of you are bots.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

If a stranger starts talking to me in an elevator I say “I don’t want to talk in case we get stuck and I have to eat you” that usually shuts them up.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

What’s your favorite song about a white boy playing funky music?

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

wearing no bra and oversized clothes is self-care at its finest

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Just once I wanna slide down a dinosaur at the end of my workday, is that too much to ask for?

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

I heard you like bad girls. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

If I had today’s mind, I wouldn’t have made yesterday’s mistake. But if I hadn’t made yesterday’s mistake, I wouldn’t have today’s mind.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

Studies show people who like my posts are happier, smarter, and better looking than those who don’t.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Nobody stresses a woman out more than a man who isn’t her man yet.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Guys love being called “daddy” until the pregnancy test comes back positive.

Trending via Instagram:

It’s scary when the washing machine spins really fast.

Making waves on Messenger:

Line dancing was created by women waiting to use the restroom.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Someone is probably in the worst argument of their life right now. LOL!

Going viral on LinkedIn:

How come it’s called “thrift store shopping” instead of Goodwill hunting?

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I feel like I’m in season 5 of my life, and the writers are just making ridiculous shit happen to keep it interesting.

Freshly posted on Slack:

That moment when you finish watching a TV series and you don’t know what to do with your life any more.

Going viral on Messenger:

Scratching the mosquito bite on my foot? Literally orgasmic. This is the kind of stuff that the government doesn’t want you to know.

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