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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Did anyone ask the daylight if it wanted to be saved?

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

The me who snips coupons needs to communicate better with the me who walks into the stores.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

In an alternate universe, the hard way is always learning me.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

I’m doing well at accomplishing nothing today and I’m very proud of myself.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

I’m at that age where someone can call me the wrong name and I’m just like “whatever, I’ll be Dan for a minute”.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

That awkward moment when you’ve said “What?” three times, so you just say “Oh, yeah..” even though you have no idea what they said.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

The question of whether an employer values its employees is sometimes answered by the toilet paper.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a boy that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Having a car is crazy cause you gotta take it to the car doctor.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Sometimes when I’m having a particularly stressful day, I take a pregnancy test to remind myself that at least one thing in my life is still going as planned.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

819 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,981

Funny Quotes Topics

13,924

Funny Quotes Images

10,981

Updated

48 minutes ago

Users Online

3,426

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

I’m trying to quit making sexual innuendos but it’s so hard.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Some people are so fake, their lock screens don’t recognize them.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Living with a dog is 90% following each other around, watching each other go potty, and wondering what the other has in their mouth.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I can handle most things in life, but hearing people chew isn’t one of them.

Seen just now on Discord:

Someone told me I wasn’t thinking clearly, as if that’s even an option.

Trending via Instagram:

Bought a house plant so I wouldn’t be the only one dying of dehydration around here.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I taped a picture of my paycheck on my front door to keep all the solicitors away.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

They get real weird at the gun store if you walk in crying and asking for “the biggest one”.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I used to schedule naps, but now they’re little surprise parties my body throws at all hours of the day.

Seen just now on Threads:

If idiots could fly, TikTok would be an airport.

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Funny greatness quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

819 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,981

Funny Quotes Topics

13,924

Funny Quotes Images

10,981

Updated

48 minutes ago

Users Online

3,448

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Being single allows you to do a lot of things. For example, standing naked in the kitchen at night and eating cold pizza.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

Sorry, can’t. Calling NASA and making alien noises.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Headless mannequins are great because they let you see how you’ll look wearing a new shirt after you’ve been decapitated.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

My husband said I use a lot of makeup, so I showed him some makeup tutorials on TikTok and I don’t think he’ll be making that mistake again.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

For my birthday, I want everyone to delete whatever old version of me they have in their head— it expired.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

The Pope is the only employee who never gets to see his boss. Not even at the Christmas party.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

And no thanking Jesus unless he actually shows up at the ceremony.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Shout out to Yamaha for being like, “Here’s a cool motorcycle. Also, here’s a cool piano.”

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

My body snaps, crackles, and pops louder than my cereal.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Welcome to your parents’ house, where the wifi password is fEtbqP2LVp3U6Hkh

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

To get my cat to eat, I tell him about all the hungry cats in Catfrica.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I just need to get over everything that has happened to me in my entire life and then we can hang out.

Making waves on Messenger:

Distance is my jam; solitude is my peanut butter.

Making waves on Threads:

In a room full of art, I’d still stare at you.

Just landed via Discord:

Missed garbage day today, if you’re looking for a bad boy that doesn’t play by the rules.

Just landed via Twitch:

I don’t wanna brag, but my posts are unpopular on all continents.

Trending via TikTok:

That little stroll to the coffee maker makes me happy every morning.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I need a break from me.

Trending via Pinterest:

Feminism convinced women they could have it all. Now they’re 40, independent, and crying in a very nice but empty apartment.

Trending via Instagram:

My ideal vacation would be to drop my family off at the airport and then have a week of peace and quiet.

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