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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

On Halloween, I’ll be handing out full size bars of really bad advice. Only while supplies last.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

I’ve just found my wide pants again. They weren’t gone at all, they’re just my tight pants now.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Jingle all the way? In this economy?

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

I don’t wanna brag, but I’ve been told I’m micro-management material.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

“I’m going to try underthinking about a situation, and see if that works.”

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Having someone sing you to sleep is so comforting, until you realize you are the only one in the room.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

It’s been a pleasure miscommunicating with you.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

When you tickle a man to death by accident, it is manslaughter.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Call your family now and ask them what the wifi password is, so they have time to find the little paper it’s written on before Thanksgiving.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

I’m going to need to rewatch Idiocracy to see what happens next.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

Updated

17 minutes ago

Users Online

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via X:

They should invent a life where I know what I’m doing.

Just shared via WeChat:

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I hate it when I’m at work and someone asks “are you at free at the moment?”. Please expand further so I can know if I’m free or not.

Breaking via YouTube:

I worry a lot about the wild animals in my neighborhood, but I’m beginning to think they don’t worry about me.

Breaking via Telegram:

What, and I cannot stress this enough, day is it.

Making waves on Instagram:

When I said you had a “serial killer face” I had meant it as a compliment. Like, you look like you are very ambitious is what I meant.

Making waves on Threads:

You’ll be having a good day and then someone your age says they’re buying a house.

Just shared via Instagram:

I don’t like being asked “are you at home?” Please expand further so I can know whether I’m at home or not.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Did you know that if a unicorn and I were to race, the unicorn would likely win cause unicorns are about as real as my desire to race anything?

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I think carefully about what I’m going to say and I still manage to say the wrong thing. It’s truly a gift I have.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

Updated

17 minutes ago

Users Online

3,431

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

I bet being full feels so good for the moon.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Life sucks a lot less when your feet are in a creek, and you forgot your phone in the truck.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Elevators frighten me. I take steps to avoid them.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Gonna run this by my two best friends who are as insane as I am.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Don’t tell me that everything was better in the past. I was there.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Surely, this is the hangover that will teach me my lesson.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

This is my emotional support online shopping cart.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m the product of too much television and zero supervision.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Anyone know how to create an Outlook rule that sends every email to junk, deletes it, blocks the sender, and sets my laptop on fire?

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

The biggest lesson employment has taught me is that efficient workers get punished with more work.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

If you’re wondering whether something is A.I. or not, A.I. has already won.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I don’t even believe myself when I say I’ll be ready in 5 minutes.

Trending via WhatsApp:

McDonald’s only giving me 9 Chicken Nuggets instead of 10 is how my villain origin story began.

Making waves on Facebook:

Middle-aged math is going out drinking and feeling half your age then waking up the next morning feeling twice your age.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Don’t give up on your dreams. Go back to bed.

Just shared via Twitch:

It’s strange that watching paint dry is considered boring but going to an art gallery is considered interesting. That’s just watching paint that’s already dry.

Making waves on Telegram:

I showered with my boyfriend. My breasts have never been so clean! Wow!

Trending via X:

Apple want $3,500 for their Vision Pro. No thanks. I can look like a dork for free.

Making waves on Slack:

If I was a priest, I’d make my side of the confession booth really big so I could run around.

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