Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

I enjoy excess, but only in moderation.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

So I just googled my symptoms, turns out I’m addicted to you.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

My boss told me to show initiative, so I decided to finish work early.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

We decided to have money instead of children.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

About to watch Tenet for the first time and I enjoyed it.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

On a dare, my son sprayed deodorant in his mouth. Now he speaks with an Axe scent.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Eating Halloween candy and putting up my Christmas tree because nothing matters anymore.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

My favorite sex position is any of them. I’m just glad to be involved.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

I like to push myself out of my comfort zone by sometimes sitting on the other end of my sofa.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

I like to do a task by worrying about it for three weeks and then finally dedicating 10 solid minutes to completing it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,662

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

If I walk into a girl’s house and she got like 50 plants, I know she’s a keeper because she already takes care of a bunch of useless things. What’s one more?

Making waves on TikTok:

So I just checked my bank account, and it looks like for Christmas I am getting everyone the thought that counts.

Just landed via X:

In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place wieners and/or cheese slices in your pockets, so the search dogs will find you first.

Going viral on X:

Wonder what I should wear to World War III.

Spotted on Slack:

I’m not drinking 2% milk until we figure out what the other 98% is.

Going viral on WeChat:

I aspire to be a stay-at-home mom with no kids.

Trending via Reddit:

Dear algorithm, please show this post only to people who have innate psionic abilities and would use their abilities for the betterment of humanity if given a chance.

Shared recently on Messenger:

God, is there anything worse than when someone wants to show you a video?

Going bananas on Telegram:

Taking action is my least favorite thing to take.

Trending via Facebook:

One day we will tell our grandkids how far we had to scroll to get to the recipe.

Funny half-open eye quotes

New funny half-open eye quotes 👇

The human body is amazing. One half-open eye and the brain under emergency power are enough to make coffee.

3 months ago

amazing, body, brain, coffee, emergency, emergency power, eye, half-open, half-open eye, human, human body, power

All funny half-open eye quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on WeChat this month:

Should be able to shazam the inner yearnings of my heart.

27 shares on Discord this month:

They say 30 is the new 20, and 40 the new 30. All I know is 9 p.m. is the new midnight.

28 shares on Threads this month:

The best time to start a family fight is now. It gets you out of buying relatives gifts.

29 shares on Instagram this month:

YOLO because stupid people don’t know what Carpe Diem means.

24 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You can tell a lot about someone based on which Spice Girl they were most attracted to.

12 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Can we talk about what little red riding hoods actual grandma must have looked like?

68 shares on Reddit this month:

If McDonald’s sold hot dogs, would you be able to, with a straight face, order a McWiener and tell them to supersize it?

26 shares on WeChat this month:

Apparently the term for migraine-sufferer is ‘migraneur.’ Nice getting recognition as a kind of artisan of suffering.

32 shares on Slack this month:

Rule #1 for family reunions: Always bring your own car so you can take off whenever you want.

70 shares on YouTube this month:

Crazy how many organs in your body are dedicated to the poopification of dinner.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Fishing for compliments like “I’m a mess in this photo that I took all morning to get the right angle and filter and after 50 selfies this is me”.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

I can keep my mouth shut, but you can read the subtitles on my face.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

People who live alone should get one practice conversation before they have to speak out loud for the first time that day.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Growing up means choosing cozy couch moments over crowded club scenes. Cheers to adulting!

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

You’re never too old or too stupid to become older and stupider.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Nobody can ragebait as successfully as your own mother can.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

I used to be cool, but now I just can’t wait to get on the couch by 7 p.m., in my pajamas, with a quilted blanket.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Forget all this adulting stuff, let’s bring back Saturday morning cartoons.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Cats hear everything. They just don’t care.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

People who get 0-5 likes at max and still tweet all the time… What’s your secret?

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

Cover letters are so embarrassing. Why am I writing a love letter to this shitty company?

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Heavy on the ‘mhm,’ cause people just be talking.

Breaking via TikTok:

You’re not really a writer unless you send at least one email a month with a script attachment, saying, “Sorry, read this one instead.”

Making waves on TikTok:

I want to sleep but my brain won’t stop talking to itself.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Unfollowing high school people really is a form of self-care.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Why steal office supplies from work when you could take an extra-long bathroom break and steal company time instead?

Just shared via Snapchat:

I hope your spoon slides into your soup.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Ever since I was a little kid I always knew I wanted to struggle to survive.

Breaking via Pinterest:

That “so we done?” be saving the relationship every time.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I will charge a 25% tariff on my steely gaze.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny half-open eye quotes

New funny half-open eye quotes 👇

The human body is amazing. One half-open eye and the brain under emergency power are enough to make coffee.

All funny half-open eye quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨