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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

My dog sighs a lot for someone who doesn’t pay any bills.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

What’s a polite way to tell someone you hope they get mauled by a bear?

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

I want my house spotless, but kicking my kids out seems wrong.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Of all the things to lose why couldn’t it have been my appetite and not my mind.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Sorry I’m late, I got here as soon as I wanted to.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

I’m scared to go to an art museum, because what if they decide to keep me?

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

All dogs are therapy dogs. The majority are just freelancing.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

It’s crazy that things have got to a point where you can say, “Jurassic Park 3 is one of the better movies in the series.”

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

I’ve never really had a beach body, but my snowman body is coming along quite nicely.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

I’m trying to shower you with affection. It doesn’t matter how I got into your bathroom.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

Updated

19 minutes ago

Users Online

3,441

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Facebook:

I will not hesitate to use dark magic on you.

Seen just now on WeChat:

If I met someone like me, I’d be really concerned for them.

Just shared via WeChat:

Oh really? We’ll see what the same six people who always agree with me think about that.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Even when I look up the slang of today’s kids, I still have no idea what it means.

Breaking via Pinterest:

The only appointment I’m ever on time for is disappointment.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

You know you’re getting old when you clean the house to the music you used to go out to.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Those 8 hours at work go by quickly when you call off.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

The easiest way to shop with kids is not to.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

The only men you can trust is ramen.

Shared recently on Messenger:

One day you’re hip and cool, and then out of nowhere you say things like hip and cool.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

Updated

19 minutes ago

Users Online

3,447

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Having Twitter is just like reading the newspaper, except the newspaper is on fire and all the writers hate you.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Even though he murders a lot of people, you can tell Freddie Kruger is a fun loving guy cause he goes by Freddie and not Fred or Frederick.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

$20k in my bank account. – The k is silent.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Why is it called the Super Bowl if no one is bowling?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

I don’t wish anyone strife in their relationship but I do wish my neighbors would enunciate a little more when they fight so I can hear better.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Turns out, sitting on the porch, feeding birds and squirrels, is a pretty good treatment for depression.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

If a man says he’ll fix it, he will fix it. There’s no need to remind him every six months.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Bowling: The most fun you can have wearing someone else’s shoes.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Currently into monogamous friendships. If you have other friends, please don’t talk to me, it hurts my heart.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Take me down to the Moria city, where the girls are green and the boys are stinky… and even Gandalf said ‘Nope, too freaky!’

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently, and I’ve decided that I really don’t want to do that any more.

Just landed via Twitch:

Are you a software update, because not now!

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Somebody needs to get my shit together.

Making waves on WeChat:

My 3 weeks without sweets were over after 12 hours. Proof that time runs faster with increasing age.

Trending via Discord:

Flying bugs can basically go anywhere they want, but still choose to fly right into your face.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

My favorite yoga pose is the one where you eat a sandwich.

Reported on Twitch:

It’s not even a crush. it’s just unsupervised hope.

Just landed via Pinterest:

If I was a priest, I’d make my side of the confession booth really big so I could run around.

Trending via Facebook:

Apologize for the job that you do. It would be nice if you were talented too.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I’m super lazy today. It’s like normal lazy but I’m wearing a cape.

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