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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

I always tell my kids that it’s okay to make mistakes just as long as you learn how to blame them on other people.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

I finally used a screw from the random screw collection I’ve been accumulating for 25 years, and I’ve never felt so alive.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

At this point, I’m sure I’ll meet an alien or zombies before I meet the love of my life!

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

There should be a special rating system for movies that tells you how uncomfortable you’ll be if you watch them with your parents.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

You know it’s bad when even a cheeseburger doesn’t help.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to skirt the issue.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Not to brag, but my children already knew everything I told them today.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Irregardless, for all intensive purposes, I could care less.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Italy stands for I Truly Always Love You.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

A good French onion soup will have you acting like a pervert.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,508

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

“You’re an athlete,” I whisper to myself, as I begin my third attempt to get out of the couch.

Trending via Discord:

The closest I’ve come to mastering a martial art is figuring out how to wash my feet in the shower.

Going bananas on TikTok:

I hate it when I check my transactions history, and everything adds up like damn, so no one stole from me.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I won $6 on a scratch-off last night. Out of my way, peasants!

Making waves on Instagram:

Only thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m stupid.

Just landed via Snapchat:

The final level of being smart is just pretending you don’t know anything to make your life easier.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I fear one day I’ll see one of my posts marked as an “Exhibit A”

Broadcasted on YouTube:

It must be hard to be a rapper knowing at any moment your enemies may make beautiful poems about you.

Just landed via Slack:

“You win some. You lose some.” Me, after losing for the millionth time in a row.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

They should invent a customer service center that isn’t “currently experiencing higher than normal call volume”.

Funny hydraulic engineering quotes

New funny hydraulic engineering quotes 👇

Beavers are so funny. Why are you a little rat doing hydraulic engineering?

1 month ago

animal, beaver, comedy, doing, engineering, humor, hydraulic, hydraulic engineering, little, rat

All funny hydraulic engineering quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on Facebook this month:

Ruin a perfectly nice trip out with your child by bringing your child.

89 shares on YouTube this month:

Sorry, I can’t tonight. I’m busy taking things personally.

45 shares on Telegram this month:

A guy waited exactly 3 days to text me. Someone’s been studying the ancient scrolls of 1980s dating advice.

27 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Who called it a Cybertruck and not a Deplorean?

62 shares on Snapchat this month:

I need a room full of mirrors, so I can be surrounded by losers.

71 shares on Telegram this month:

I love icebreakers. They really give me time to anxiously reflect on what the most fun fact about me is, while I don’t listen to anyone else at all.

32 shares on TikTok this month:

If I’m too much, go find less. I’m not running a clearance sale.

20 shares on YouTube this month:

Men invented pool tables so they could watch each other bend over.

59 shares on Messenger this month:

Sometimes your ankle takes a vacation while you’re walking.

68 shares on Snapchat this month:

I hate it when I’m cleaning the house and suddenly find a bowl of ice cream in my lap and my soap opera on.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

My family was too poor for a gene pool, so we soaked our genes in rye whiskey.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Tattoos are a great convo starter. So as an introvert, I kinda regret getting them.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Liquor store clerk: “Do you need help?” Me: “Yes, but I decided to come here instead.”

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

I want to be so rich that when I see a spider in my house I won’t kill it, I’d buy another house.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Offering someone food, and secretly hoping, they don’t want it.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

I find myself thinking “God, I need a cigarette” way too often for someone who doesn’t actually smoke.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

This Dollar Tree energy drink has me seeing colors that aren’t available to the naked eye, yet.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Life hack: if you run out of treadmill space for your clothes, get a piano.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Opinions are like air fryers. Everyone’s got one and they won’t stop banging on about them.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

As a child, all I wanted was as to be a time traveller, like my grandson and his grandson before him.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Pinterest:

The problem with meal prep is you have to eat the meal that you prepped.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I have a drawer in my kitchen that I can’t open anymore because of that one time I decided to put a spatula in it.

Making waves on Telegram:

I can now see how sitting on a porch could fill an entire life.

Seen just now on Threads:

My soulmate is chocolate cake.

Seen just now on YouTube:

How dare you say I’m crazy on the eve of my cat’s wedding?

Making waves on Instagram:

If they’re called leggings, why is your stomach in there?

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Do crabs underwater think that fishes fly?

Making waves on Threads:

In all the movies, Santa never goes to the house directly next door. He always gets in his sleigh and flies off like 20 miles east.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Can’t wait for my husband to see what he bought everyone for Christmas.

Just landed via Reddit:

My favorite pastime is staying up way later than I should and complaining the next day about how tired I am.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny hydraulic engineering quotes

New funny hydraulic engineering quotes 👇

Beavers are so funny. Why are you a little rat doing hydraulic engineering?

All funny hydraulic engineering quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨