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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Show me in the employee handbook where it says I can’t make weird noises in my cubicle.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Money enters like Beyoncé and exits like Britney.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

I’m only drinking a lot of beer tonight because I need the room in the fridge.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

We can do things two ways. My way or the right way.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

“Bye, have a great day, I’ll see you after school”, I tell the orange in my kid’s lunch.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

IKEA products should be cheaper, I’m doing all the work here. It’s like ordering takeout food and still having to cook it when it arrives.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

I’ve skipped midlife crisis and gone straight to birdwatching.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Why are “hemorrhoids” not called “assteroids”?

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Obituaries should have clickbait titles.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Twitter when Franz Ferdinand got shot would have been the best day ever.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

Updated

59 minutes ago

Users Online

3,447

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

Why does tiredness on the couch not follow me to the bed?

Going viral on Twitch:

“Those tattoos will make it harder to get a job!” Okay, well so will my personality.

Spotted on Instagram:

In my house the roles are reversed cause my kids tell me to turn my music down.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I finally have glasses, which is great because I needed one more thing to frantically search for every morning.

Just landed via Reddit:

Brain, I know you’re trying hard, but you are not doing a good job.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Why are so many people going everywhere whenever I have to go anywhere?

Making waves on Slack:

Cows are very calm, considering the whole floor is food to them.

Seen just now on Threads:

Many people mistakenly believe that diamond is the hardest substance on earth, but in reality it is my husband’s stubborn head.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

The sexual tension between me and a late afternoon coffee to get me through the workday.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Hot wings have killed many people starting with a dude named Icarus.

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Funny ignoring problems quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

Updated

59 minutes ago

Users Online

3,429

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Once you’ve been single for a long time, you realize how exhausting relationships can be.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

People will name their dog Steve and have two kids named Buddy and Rocket.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

I have a question and my question is, how can I look so cute in the mirror but like such a baked potato in pictures?

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Whoever’s praying on my downfall, I appreciate you thinking of me.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

The more nicknames I have for you, the more I like you.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Please don’t dm me with the intention of dating me. You deserve less.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

No camera can do justice to a landscape that melts your heart.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

That moment when you realize “yeah, this person is never gonna hear from me again” is so crazy.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

I’ve finally found a book that speaks to me. I believe it’s called an “audiobook”.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Not to brag but I always pick the slowest moving checkout line at the grocery store.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

Tupperware is filing for bankruptcy. They would have kept a lid on the news but they couldn’t find one.

Going viral on TikTok:

They’re putting me through the penny flattening machine at the zoo.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

It’s okay, facial recognition. I don’t recognize myself anymore either.

Trending via Pinterest:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball is not for throwing at people who stress you out?

Reported on Telegram:

Only money has the right to say “you’ll regret losing me”. The rest of you calm down.

Live now on TikTok:

People say opposites attract, but I say find a partner who’s deranged in the same ways you are and double your capacity to be annoying.

Spotted on Twitch:

Bro, did you really just mix up e.g. and i.e. in front of the hoes?

Going viral on TikTok:

If I ever went to jail for murder, it would be for murdering my printer.

Seen just now on Twitch:

There’s nothing that I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

Breaking via Twitch:

Sometimes I feel useless, but then I remember I breathe out carbon dioxide for plants.

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