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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Sorry, I’m late. I got caught up at home being happy.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Daffodil totally sounds like an insult, you blooming daffodil.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

The dumbest thing about YouTube ads is how they seem to think that I’m a moron.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

You try to fart in the toilet in the morning without waking the whole house and thanks to the brilliant acoustics of the toilet bowl, the horn of Gondor sounds.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

“Treat yourself. You deserve it,” she says while adding the shoes to her cart.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Roses are red, violets are blue, sunflowers are yellow. I bet you were expecting something romantic, but no, this is just gardening facts.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

I’m not humiliating myself here for 3 likes. 10 maybe but not 3.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

You gotta ask people nowadays, are you single single, mad at your partner single, blocked single or single just in your head.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Technically I’m still young, but according to my back pain I’m actually 69.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

My favorite Slipknot member is the one who wears the mask.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2125 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,287

Funny Quotes Topics

15,016

Funny Quotes Images

12,287

Updated

5 minutes ago

Users Online

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

Fake laughing with customers is actually a job skill.

Going viral on Telegram:

You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you’re full of energy and you can’t wait to get to work? Me neither!

Just shared via Snapchat:

If food delivery apps had never been invented, I would either be wildly rich or dead.

Trending via Discord:

Basically a lot of my problems boil down to me being really bad at waking up, and also really bad at going to sleep.

Making waves on Telegram:

Actually, men should take the pill. It makes more sense to unload the gun than to shoot at a bulletproof vest.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Do you ever feel like you’re a white shirt and life is a red wine?

Seen just now on WeChat:

Don’t give up, keep going. There are still so many disappointments waiting for you.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Women aren’t complicated. Just give us attention and leave us alone.

Making waves on Discord:

I’m fairly certain the person who put the first “r” in February also decided how to spell Wednesday.

Just shared via Discord:

Saw a big spider crawl into my closet last night. He’s probably in there trying on all my clothes, acting like he’s me.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2125 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,287

Funny Quotes Topics

15,016

Funny Quotes Images

12,287

Updated

5 minutes ago

Users Online

3,434

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

I’m at the age where the first thing I do when I get somewhere is look for a place to sit.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Go ahead. Order anything you want. Money is no object when we dine at IKEA.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Before you have kids, ask yourself: how patient am I with really stupid people?

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re excited about your organized fridge.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Sex is fine, but have you ever completed every single thing on your to-do list?

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

The divorce process is easier than breaking up with your hair stylist.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

“Normalize this, normalize that.” How about y’all feel shame for once?

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

The incontinent optimist sees the bladder as half empty.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

My pronouns are she/her and my adjectives are problematic/overwhelmed.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Growing up, I always knew I was gonna be the distant family member.

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Messenger:

Have I made bad decisions when I was drunk? Sure. But have the sober ones been any better? Not really.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I was waiting on the universe but the universe was actually waiting on me.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Kids be like: “Nice bathroom mirror. It would be a shame if I spat toothpaste all over it.”

Just landed via YouTube:

It’s amazing how music can transport you to another place. For example, this coffee shop is playing Justin Bieber, so I’m going to another restaurant.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Apartments show you 44 pics of the lobby. Man, I ain’t living in there.

Just shared via Instagram:

Gonna tell my dentist that if I’m late, he should start without me.

Just landed via Instagram:

My body snaps, crackles, and pops louder than my cereal.

Just shared via Facebook:

Did you know that if a unicorn and I were to race, the unicorn would likely win cause unicorns are about as real as my desire to race anything?

Just landed via Snapchat:

Guys will say, “I know a spot,” and then take you on a downward spiral.

Trending via Pinterest:

Actually, this email could’ve been a meeting. We could’ve spent an hour on the clock talking shit and gossiping. Someone could’ve brought bagels.

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