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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

People are teaching their dogs how to skateboard and my dog’s chart at the vet says “must be picked up, won’t walk”.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Start each day with a positive thought, like: “I can go back to bed in just 17 short hours.”

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Actually, it’s illegal to be upset if you make a date on Halloween and they ghost you.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Woke up and immediately broke my resolution to be less sexy this year.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

If pigeons and chickens made a tribe, would they be called the coo clucks clan?

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m not really a “glass half full” kind of person. I’m more of a “Where’d I put my glass?” kind of person.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Some days you are the table and some days you are the toe.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Just blocked everyone who is not in my gang so if you’re reading this, we’re robbing a bank in 12 minutes.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

I can’t believe she picked her husband, her boyfriend and her other boyfriend over me.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

You’d think someone in the room would’ve spoken up like “hey guys, maybe it’s a bad idea to make one ring to rule them all”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

31 minutes ago

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Twitch:

I haven’t tried Yoga, but I bent over to pick up my keys off the floor, so I’m sure I wouldn’t like Yoga.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Phew, I thought the weather was broken because there was this weird yellow thing in the sky. But all’s well, it’s raining again.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I will selflessly protect my family from a life of diabetes by eating all the sweets myself.

Going viral on WeChat:

I could have been the favorite mistress of the Sun King at Versailles, but nooooooooo I had to be born into late stage capitalism.

Spotted on X:

My signature move is to tell men that I can’t hear them because I have my headphones in when I quite visibly don’t have headphones in.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

College is not even mentioned once in the Bible. Somebody get me outta here.

Seen just now on Discord:

People drive you insane and then say “see, I told you that you’re insane.”

Just landed via Slack:

Keep your temper. Nobody else wants it.

Making waves on X:

I want my house spotless, but kicking my kids out seems wrong.

Just shared via Pinterest:

8 year gap on resume that just says “karate”.

Home » Funny Keychain Quotes

Funny keychain quotes

New funny keychain quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: I’d like to shrink you down and add you to my keychain.

Commentary:
"Wow, talk about taking friendship to a whole new level! 🤏🔑 Just imagine carrying a mini version of your friend around everywhere you go. They'd be your little sidekick, always there when you need them – just make sure not to lose your keys or you might misplace your friend too! 😂 #FriendshipGoals"

For even more funny keychain quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny keychain quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

31 minutes ago

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Newborns cry because they’re being evicted.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

The only way to forget the mistakes you made in the past is to make even bigger and graver mistakes in the present.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

They say you should dress for the job you want then send you home as “the stormtrooper suit is not appropriate work attire”.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

If it weren’t for this whole job thingy that pays me money, I’d become a professional nap taker.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

If you don’t want to be in love with me that’s fine. You’re entitled to your wrong and very stupid opinions.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Sometimes a girl has to delete all the apps on her phone and not speak to anyone for a week to find true happiness.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

I know I’m almost 40 because I had a few drinks last night and woke up this morning thinking: Oh no I bought so many socks online last night.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

My day starts backwards, I wake up tired and I go to bed wide awake.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Are cassette tapes considered classical music yet?

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

I would like you to meet my significant other. Her name is Cheese.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on X:

My longest relationship has been with my Hotmail account.

Just shared via Snapchat:

My hair dryer is so powerful that it doubles as my leaf blower.

Trending via Telegram:

Just looked around and realized it’s everyone’s first time living.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

If your first child is uncomplicated, then it’s a trick of nature to get you to have a second child. The second will be an unpredictable bundle of energy that seems to get by without sleep.

Just shared via TikTok:

I woke up from a deep sleep in a panic thinking I was late for work. Thankfully, I was already there.

Seen just now on Threads:

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened.

Spotted on Telegram:

Not opening up anymore, have fun trying to figure me out.

Trending via Facebook:

Desperately seeking my soul, mate.

Spotted on WeChat:

You can really tell somebody’s mental state by they hair.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Jump to recipe is the closest thing we have to teleportation.

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