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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

The question “how is work” really pisses me off. Work is work, bro, I don’t know what else you want me to say.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

The role I play at family gatherings is that of the cousin that doesn’t show up anymore.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

I’m at the age where I have to warm up first before jumping to conclusions.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Of all the ways to be miserable, marriage is the most expensive.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

You are the Monday of my life.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

These days, you gotta have a job for the bills and another job for yourself.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

The only thing I gained so far this year is weight.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

My dog pisses on every election sign regardless of political party so I have no idea who he is voting for.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

If you’re feeling lonely, start a small business. Then you’ll have a little company.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

If I could do it all over again, I would ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,430

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

Cursing after hitting oneself can reduce the pain by up to 50%.

Seen just now on Threads:

If I ever get the death penalty, I hope “by chocolate” is an option.

Just shared via X:

Just did a seductive hair flip and an onion ring flew out.

Just shared via Telegram:

I’m basically a taxi today for the kids and dogs.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

First you’re cringe, then you’re the blueprint.

Going viral on Telegram:

I travel like I’m rich, then eat like I’m broke.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

If you want to feel really bad about yourself, just start dating.

Breaking via Threads:

I went from dancing with myself in the 80s to talking to myself now.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

You’re the ‘S’ to my ‘HTTP’; without you, I’m just a bad connection!

Shared recently on Telegram:

When someone asks me why I’m in a wheelchair, I want to say something ridiculous like, “I’m not standing up until I’ve saved a million.”

Funny Kohl’s Cash quotes

New funny Kohl’s Cash quotes 👇

Bitcoin is just Kohl’s Cash for boys.

4 weeks ago

Bitcoin, boys, cash, comparison, finance, humor, joke, just, kohl’s, Kohl’s Cash, money, shopping

All funny Kohl’s Cash quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on Telegram this month:

You know you’ve mastered marriage when you shout to your husband, “Take the thing off the thing,” and he immediately knows what to do.

13 shares on Discord this month:

The potholes in my city will change your radio station and unlock the doors.

95 shares on Slack this month:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice? Also shame on you. Stop foolin’ me, I am pure.

92 shares on Snapchat this month:

The actors who signed on to that first Avatar movie have job security like no other in Hollywood.

58 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I can’t tell if I need coffee, a hug, or to just go live in the woods forever.

16 shares on WeChat this month:

Nothing prepared me for the part of adulthood where you look like a baby deer learning to walk every time you get out of bed in the morning.

84 shares on Telegram this month:

Worst feeling in the world is when you are loyal to all your girlfriends but your favorite one is cheating on you.

80 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Requesting the Pink Panther theme song at karaoke and just standing on the stage motionless the entire time.

21 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I laugh at my own jokes because I am my target audience. Y’all just happen to be there.

91 shares on WeChat this month:

Imagine working at Pornhub. At like the corporate office as a developer or whatever. White collar. That’s gotta be a weird job. Working there has gotta be bloody weird.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

I will never give another woman my heart until I see how she acts when a bee flies at her.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Helpful police officer reminded me he’s the one asking the questions.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Nothing good happens on the credit card after midnight.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

My kids are smart but sometimes they say dumb stuff like, “Mom, why do you always buy Snickers when you’re the only one who likes them?”

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Our dog snores so loud, we had to rename him Grandpa.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

I have to pee. Story of my life.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

I like that they put all that stuff outside for you to look at when you’re on a walk.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

There’s literally no law that says you can’t put your friends down as your references and pretend they were your boss at an old job. Literally, there’s no law that says that.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Journaling was the most useless thing l ever attempted. Not only am I still suffering but now there’s evidence.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

I don’t know how to mop my kitchen floor without pretending l’m cleaning up a gruesome crime scene.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on TikTok:

Reading fanfics is so fun, I wish romantic attraction was real.

Shared recently on Slack:

I made you snort laugh, so we’re going out, right?

Live now on WhatsApp:

“OMG I love your personality,” thanks, it’s a disorder.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Real yearners know yearning is not actually fun.

Just shared via WeChat:

Summer is here. Always put on some suncream to help the rain run off.

Shared recently on Threads:

Every Microsoft Teams invite you get lowers your testosterone by 1-2%

Seen just now on YouTube:

Men be like “I would do anything for you,” and then do nothing.

Just landed via Twitch:

I would just once like to feel as powerful as a toddler throwing their sippy cup whilst sitting atop their high chair.

Breaking via WeChat:

I love admitting when I’m wrong, because it gives me a break from always being right, like finally.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

My wife screamed “you haven’t listened to a single word I’ve said, have you?!” I was taken aback, what a weird way to start a conversation.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny Kohl’s Cash quotes

New funny Kohl’s Cash quotes 👇

Bitcoin is just Kohl’s Cash for boys.

All funny Kohl’s Cash quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨