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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

I’ve been commissioned to kiss you on the lips. I need to get this done by tonight.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

I like to take long walks away from stupid people.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

These days, you gotta have a job for the bills and another job for yourself.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Every laptop should have a “cat” button that disables the keyboard so they can nap.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

I’m glad the makers removed all the unnecessary sex scenes from my life, so I can focus on character development.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

My mom be cutting up fruit and bringing it to me in my room without saying nothing. That’s when it hits me, nobody ever gonna love me this much.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

My husband accidentally locked himself out of the house, and I didn’t hear him knocking until I finished eating the rest of his cheesecake. So weird.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

I feel like an adult spelling bee would humble a lot of us.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

How about hold me as tight as you’re holding onto that grudge?

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Hey kid, wanna hear a scary story? One day, you will be able to do whatever you want, and you will choose to stay home alone.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,392

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

At the airport, and a wife asked her husband, “Where are our seats?” and he responds, “In the airplane.”

Seen just now on Threads:

Goodbye, August, don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

It’s funny how when you’re at work, “Go to hell” comes out as “No problem.”

Spotted on Slack:

Figure skating is so niche that sometimes I walk in the rink, and there’s an Olympic medalist there.

Just shared via X:

Texting my boss from the job I got laid off from 5 months ago and telling him I have diarrhea.

Spotted on Facebook:

I changed my Facebook name to “Benefits.” Now, when people add me, it says, “You are now friends with benefits.”

Spreading quickly via X:

Flirting back when you’re bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

Seen just now on X:

Running to the boarding gate is my favorite workout.

Spotted on Messenger:

Accidentally falling asleep is always the best sleep — and that’s so irritating.

Seen just now on Messenger:

This gratitude journal looks a lot like a grocery list.

Funny kombucha quotes

New funny kombucha quotes 👇

You can just enjoy kombucha. You don’t need to go on a tirade about cleansing your gut.

0

2 months ago

digestion, enjoy, gut, gut health, health, health joke, health rant, humor, joke, just, kombucha, lighthearted, need, rant, wellness

Someone from 🇹🇬 has recently shared this quote.

83 shares on Discord this month.

All funny kombucha quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on Facebook this month:

It’s so cool when people who write for a living admit that they don’t read books or have thoughts.

66 shares on Telegram this month:

Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?

18 shares on Slack this month:

Animals be 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

29 shares on WeChat this month:

October is the situationship of months. So briefly beautiful, but you know the horrors are imminent.

55 shares on YouTube this month:

“You look tired.” Yes, bro, I stayed up all night obsessing over things I have no control over.

65 shares on Pinterest this month:

Seems like paleontologists always have a bone to pick.

99 shares on Snapchat this month:

A good way to get out of a conversation is to take off one of your socks and hand it to the person talking.

39 shares on Instagram this month:

Heartbreaking: Introvert sentenced to 100 hours of hanging out.

79 shares on Pinterest this month:

Your coworkers are your friends; stop working and hang out.

49 shares on Slack this month:

“Are you dating anyone?” I close my eyes when I walk past mirrors.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Before marrying someone, listen long and hard to the sounds of their chewing, because that’s the soundtrack to the rest of your life.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

It’s not my job to tell people where they’re failing in life. It’s just a hobby.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Why’s it always “NYC smells like pee” and never “my pee smells like the greatest city in the world”?

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Every time I use a Windows computer, it’s like they built malware into the OS. Like, what do you mean there are ads in the start menu?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Men playing hard to get when they’re already hard to want, is so funny to me.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Not to brag, but I don’t fight with people on the internet.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

With great power comes a great electricity bill.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Stop using ChatGPT. I can feed you misinformation too and I’m also beautiful and funny sometimes.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Politics top tip: Gain people’s trust by telling them that everyone is lying to them.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Never forget that your fave celebs were trying to sell you cartoon monkey pictures during a pandemic.

Spotted on Reddit:

Vote for me, I’ll cut the alphabet in half.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Don’t let the fact that I’m deeply unserious distract you from the fact that you’re in the presence of a genius.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently, and I’ve decided that I really don’t want to do that any more.

Just landed via WeChat:

A girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

Breaking via Instagram:

I’ve heard that some people have kids who sleep through the night and I’d like to know if they use tranquilizers or chloroform.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

A lot of people think you need a lot of money to buy clothes. And they’re right.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Some women seated next to me are gossiping in French. They obviously think I’m some dumb American who doesn’t speak French and they are correct.

Just shared via Instagram:

Why do these women want to date Pete Davidson, a funny movie star, and not me, a guy who is whining?

Making waves on Discord:

My kids practically have medical degrees they’re at the nurse so much.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny kombucha quotes

New funny kombucha quotes 👇

You can just enjoy kombucha. You don’t need to go on a tirade about cleansing your gut.

All funny kombucha quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨