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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Do y’all watch the results come or do you go to bed and wait to see what Democracy Claus left you in the morning?

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Hate it when my alarm goes off in the morning, and I’m still alive.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

I think my dog always follows me to the bathroom because I always follow him outside and he thinks that’s the way it works.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

If women came with instructions, men wouldn’t read them anyway.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

My life is based on a true story.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

I wish I could invoice people for wasting my time.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

The problem with parental controls is I need my kid to help me figure out how to set them up.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

This is the fastest December in the history of all December.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

You ever have one of those days that require the use of both of your middle fingers?

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

I was guest-starring on The Love Boat when you woke me up. You’re dead to me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

804 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,966

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,966

11 minutes ago

3,450

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

I’ve already sent Santa a short letter this week to say hello. Not that he thinks I only get in touch if I want something.

Reported on Discord:

I’m soirée for my mispronunciation of French words.

Making waves on YouTube:

I don’t assume anything except the fetal position.

Trending via TikTok:

Bragging about how I’ve “really turned my life around recently” without mentioning in which direction.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I’m not your dream woman. I am the sudden shouting of ravens that you hear when you enter a part of the forest you shouldn’t have.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

This whole working for a living thing goes on for how long?

Just shared via X:

I like riding by myself so I can replay 1 song 111 times with no complaints.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Actually, it’s illegal to be upset if you make a date on Halloween and they ghost you.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Do you mind if I become the object of your desire? No worries if not.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Welcome to your 50’s. Your doctor and pharmacist are both in your contacts now.

Home » Funny Leave Alone Quotes

Funny leave alone quotes

New funny leave alone quotes 👇

3 months ago
Share →: For the amount of meat you get out of clam, I feel like we could just leave them alone.

Commentary:
"Clams: the original master of hiding in plain sight and making us work way too hard for a tiny snack! 🐚 Maybe they're just teaching us a lesson in the art of patience and perseverance 🤔 or perhaps they're just clamming up when it comes to sharing their goodies! 😄"
6 months ago
Share →: Trying to win an argument online is sociopathic. I would concede anything to get a stranger to leave me alone.

Commentary:
"Arguing online is like playing chess with a pigeon – no matter how well you play, the pigeon will just knock over the pieces and strut around like it won anyway. 🐦💻 Better to wave the white flag and call it a day before the pigeons take over the internet!"

For even more funny leave alone quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny leave alone quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

804 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,966

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,966

11 minutes ago

3,440

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Never meeting another person again, so if I know you already, congrats!

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t turn into a disaster.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Forgetting your phone at home is the modern equivalent of leaving your sword behind in medieval times.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

If someone leaves your life, it’s often because the actor playing them is getting cancelled in the real world.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Having to pee when you’re driving is problematic. Having to sneeze when you’re driving is even more problematic.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

I live in constant fear of being asked to repeat what you just said after I say I’m listening.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Clearing her mind with a brisk walk along the foggy shoreline.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

If you ever feel like something’s missing in your life, it’s probably me.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

I want to live in a world where the plural of moose is mooses.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Don’t worry, you’ll find the lost scissors when you’ll be searching for your glasses.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

My attempts to purge my possessions always seem to result in me rediscovering that I have lots of nice things, after which I lie happily on my hoard like a dragon.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

If you fall asleep long enough, the steering wheel gives you a pillow.

Seen just now on YouTube:

“What’s something you’d tell your younger self?” You can have ice cream for dinner, nobody will stop you.

Reported on Facebook:

In a parallel universe, Mariah Carey is doing her shopping and is sick of hearing me on every store’s speaker system.

Just shared via Reddit:

Riding a bike is an insane concept. You just sit and run at the same time.

Seen just now on Messenger:

If you shouldn’t go food shopping when you’re hungry, then you should definitely not go clothes shopping when you’re naked. Trust me on this.

Spotted on Twitch:

Getting mad at your hair is a whole different kind of angry.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened.

Going viral on X:

Eternal Sunshine of the Thotless Grind.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I miss being able to study with complete focus for hours. Now I read one sentence and check my phone to see if penguins have legs or just feet.

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