Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

I bought a little notebook to keep track of who’s above the law.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Men will ask you zero questions about yourself, and then say they never met anybody like you.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

“You’re such a stalker!” God forbid a woman wants to know more about her future husband.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

It’s ok to not have a Valentine on Valentine’s Day. I didn’t have a groundhog on Groundhog’s Day.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Sometimes I’m like….. what is the point of all this? And then I hang out with the people I love, and for a brief moment, I see.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Dear sleep, I’m sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back!

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Shoutout to Netflix for being the only one that checks in on me every few hours. “Are you still watching?” Yeah, babe, thank you for asking.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Please no more relationships that are supposed to be a lesson. I’m already quite the scholar.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

I can’t wait until my kids have a place of their own so I can come barging through their door and say “what’s for dinner? I don’t like that. Can you give me money for McDonald’s?”

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

As you get older, it’s amazing how fast bird-watching creeps up on you…

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,628

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

I need to start hiding my money from myself.

Just landed via Messenger:

What’s the best job for someone who cries very easily and cannot handle any criticism?

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Dating to marry in a world filled with cheaters, situationships, and hook-up culture.

Going viral on Slack:

It is kind of inspiring that I messed up my life without drugs, gambling or a troubled youth. People really can do anything.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

My life started becoming a mess when I was put in charge of my own bedtime.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

One of the toughest jobs in parenting is serving the inevitable eviction notice on your kid’s pillow fort.

Live now on Twitch:

Accidentally made eye contact with the sweets at the grocery store and now have to declare bankruptcy.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Moms be like, “Your cousin’s neighbor’s husband’s aunt died. Just thought you should know.”

Spotted on Snapchat:

Mashed potatoes are just German guacamole.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Not to be a nerd, but a well-placed semicolon is hot as hell.

Funny leave alone quotes

Funny leave alone quotes are the perfect way to keep things light when you just need some space 🛑🙈. Whether you’re in a mood to chill or simply want some peace without drama, these witty lines bring humor and sass to your “do not disturb” vibes 😎✌️. Ready to laugh your way to some solo time? Let’s dive into the funniest ways to say, “Give me a break!” 😂🎉

New funny leave alone quotes 👇

All funny leave alone quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you see me out in public but we haven’t talked since high school, let’s keep it that way.

98 shares on Discord this month:

British people be like “It’s Chewsday, innit?”

87 shares on X this month:

You just can’t live a full life on an empty stomach.

25 shares on TikTok this month:

Life begins when you can afford it.

55 shares on WeChat this month:

My wife’s resolution to yell at the kids less has just taken a very bad turn.

16 shares on Facebook this month:

I don’t like to call it a xenomorph — I prefer the term “the alien from Alien.”

99 shares on Twitch this month:

The best thing about work is the coffee machine and the drive home.

91 shares on Discord this month:

Sometimes I feel useless but then I remember I breath out carbon dioxide for plants.

24 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but there’s only 365 shopping days left until Christmas.

23 shares on Reddit this month:

I purposely overcook my holiday turkeys so I don’t have to hear anyone at the table say, “moist.”

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I zoned out during your story… my brain was offering me multiple side quests and overthinking opportunities.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Working as a 911 operator but hanging up when someone starts screaming because I’m an empath, and it overwhelms me.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to Twitter: yeah, none of us can sleep either.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won’t feel like you are lonely any more.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Me going to work because I’m too honest to scam people, too shy to be an influencer, too good for a sugar daddy, and too dumb for crypto.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If I wore a mood ring, it would probably explode immediately.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I love all the Winter Olympic events, sliding downhill on a piece of wood, sliding downhill on two pieces of wood, sliding downhill in a piece of wood. All amazing.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

At the end of the day, it’s the friend that doesn’t take your ghosting phases personally.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I am not someone you have to entertain if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Caveman: I just invented the wheel. Journalist: Here’s why the wheel is bad for humanity.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,660

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

If you catch me smiling at you, chances are I am plotting my revenge.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

To everyone I offended this year: do better next year, so I don’t have to do it again.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

I celebrate 4/20 on 1/5 because I know how to reduce fractions.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

“It is what it is,” I say, as I almost vomit from anxiety.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Happy return of “yes of course it’s bedtime, see how dark it is outside” to all parents who celebrate.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Kinda rude when I spend money, and it actually leaves my bank account. But okay.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Just spoke to my wife while the internet was down. She seems nice. She’s a nurse apparently.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

I will improve my life after I doom scroll a little more. Yes.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

I don’t think inside the box and I don’t think outside the box. I don’t even know where the box is.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

I need a Netflix show called: “Background noise while you scroll on your phone.”

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

I get at least 1,000 steps in waiting for my food to be done in the microwave.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I want a small, tasteful wedding. No family. No friends. No groom. Just me eating a big cake.

Just shared via X:

Cheeseburgers should be free for anyone that’s in a bad mood.

Just landed via TikTok:

Just bought a new umbrella for the person that finds it tomorrow.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Socialism isn’t wrong because it has compassion. It’s wrong because it doesn’t work.

Breaking via WeChat:

Imagine hearing the ice cream truck music, but at night.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I could own a thousand summer dresses, and it still wouldn’t be enough.

Going viral on X:

I met my wife at a singles night. I was surprised as I thought she was at home with the kids.

Just landed via Messenger:

Can’t believe my neighbor rang my doorbell at 3 a.m. last night… Luckily, I was still up playing the drums.

Live now on Pinterest:

The question I ask myself most often is, “What would a jury think about this?”

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴