26 funny amount quotes - Wordgag

The thing I’ve always found tricky about money is knowing how much I should have.

May 22, 2026

My kids will never appreciate the amount of extroverting the introvert me does for them.

May 19, 2026

Having siblings is so important because you learn the exact amount you can annoy someone before they try to physically kill you.

May 19, 2026

No amount of evidence will ever persuade an idiot.

May 18, 2026

The people who “don’t have time” and the people who “always find time” have the same amount of time.

Apr 2, 2026

The amount of people who “find God” after doing something evil needs to be studied.

Apr 1, 2026

The amount of water you actually need to drink to be hydrated is so obscene. Who does this body think it is? A data center?

Apr 1, 2026

The amount of sleeping I’ve done over the past few days has been phenomenal. I genuinely love doing absolutely nothing.

Apr 1, 2026

The amount of family secrets you uncover as you get older is wild.

Apr 1, 2026

You’d think, with the amount of overthinking I do, I’d make the right decision.

Apr 1, 2026

Not to brag, but I boiled the right amount of pasta. Once. Five years ago.

Apr 1, 2026

After hearing that I have too many books and too many bookshelves, I’ve decided to cut back on the amount of people I listen to.

Apr 1, 2026

Based on the amount of laundry I wash each week, I’m starting to think there are people who live here that I haven’t met yet.

Mar 31, 2026

Three serious exes is the right amount before you meet your spouse. You need one truly evil one, one normal one, and one situationship, and then you’ve basically experienced all dating has to offer.

Mar 31, 2026

The amount of inappropriate thoughts I have is a little concerning.

Mar 30, 2026

Increasing the amount of high fives I give my boss each day until he quits his job.

Mar 30, 2026

Given the amount of clowns around here, you’d think it would be more entertaining.

Mar 30, 2026

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here pumping gas until the dollar amount ends with 0.

Mar 30, 2026

I think God’s next test for me should be, “Can he handle a ridiculous amount of money.”

Mar 30, 2026

I don’t think I’ve ever made the right amount of pasta.

Mar 30, 2026

Listen to your body? The body that craves a lethal amount of Kinder Bueno?

Mar 30, 2026

For the amount of meat you get out of clam, I feel like we could just leave them alone.

Mar 29, 2026

No amount of daylight can save us.

Mar 28, 2026

How is rent for 28 days the same amount as for 31 days? Where is my change?

Mar 28, 2026

The amount I’m sighing these days could fuel a small wind farm.

Mar 27, 2026

I think you would all treat me a lot better if I possessed a small amount of plutonium.

Mar 26, 2026