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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Adulting is making a phone call, even though you don’t want to.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Hell, yes, I work out. Somebody has to support the ibuprofen industry.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Why do I have to take care of this idiot (me) every single day? Can’t she do anything on her own?

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Apple want $3,500 for their Vision Pro. No thanks. I can look like a dork for free.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

I wear sunglasses when I’m driving so nobody knows I’m asleep.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

God forbid a girl uses shopping as her coping mechanism.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Loving her was my second biggest mistake. Not buying Bitcoins in 2010 still remains the first.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

My wife asked me why the bottle of wine we bought yesterday was half empty. I said because she is a pessimist.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Cloud 9 is a very high place to fall from.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,339

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

I put my pants on like everyone else. With hope they still fit.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

August is technically summer, but spiritually fall.

Just landed via Facebook:

Shuffling into the kitchen in a robe Sunday morning to change the clock on the microwave is the lamest form of time travel ever.

Seen just now on Slack:

Second day without coffee. I can no longer hear out of my left eye.

Going viral on Slack:

The concept of hot water showers feeling so good but not actually being good for your hair or skin is disgusting.

Spotted on Messenger:

You know you’re getting old when you’re entering your birth year online and you need to spin that thing like you’re on wheel of fortune.

Just landed via Slack:

I just wanna buy $16 worth of a meme coin and sell it for $2.6M two weeks later.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Whoever named the grapefruit when there was already a fruit named grape. Incompetent legend. I wish we could hang out.

Shared recently on Facebook:

The problem with parental controls is I need my kid to help me figure out how to set them up.

Spotted on X:

I thought my friends in their 60s were making love in the other room but they were just putting on their socks.

Funny light-colored quotes

New funny light-colored quotes 👇

All funny light-colored quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on Instagram this month:

Hot girl in her 20s: It’s so weird, but I keep getting lucky, and everything works out in my favor.

98 shares on Discord this month:

Dear algorithm, please show this post only to smart people with a refined sense of beauty.

30 shares on Reddit this month:

There are two types of people in politics. Avoid them.

47 shares on Instagram this month:

Needing to stretch is so funny. Your body is like “Ughhh, make me longer!”

12 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m a strong, independent woman, but like, against my will.

54 shares on Messenger this month:

Bored as hell. Anyone want to emotionally manipulate each other?

38 shares on Snapchat this month:

Stop avoiding your banking app. Go look at what you’ve done.

19 shares on X this month:

You’re the human embodiment of an “ugh.”

83 shares on Reddit this month:

Ohhh, I just realised you can change your facial expression. I was just doing the one.

19 shares on WeChat this month:

Got sent to HR for calling someone a “jellyfish” — just floating around all day, doing absolutely nothing.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry for levitating at the end of your bed all night, I just think you’re really cute.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If I ever go missing, please print my picture on wine bottles and not on milk boxes. My friends are more likely to find me then.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Driving behind a salt truck on a snowy day is a Midwest police escort.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

There are people who have a favourite colour, and there are people whose favourite colour is purple. These are very different things. Purple fans are different creatures.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

All day I think about sleep but when it’s time to go to bed I don’t wanna.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I am cool with January lasting forever because rent is due February 1.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Just the owls and I out here enjoying the breeze amongst the trees.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

When you’re dead, you don’t know that you’re dead. But it’s hard for those around you. It’s the same when you’re stupid.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a grocery store that’s just for me and no one else.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Striking gold in your 40s: finding a close parking spot that’s in the shade on a hot summer day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,409

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

People say “go big or go home” like going home is a bad thing. Heck yeah, I want to go home, and I’ll have a nap when I get there.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Elevator music is bad on so many levels.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

How can I be ready for the future when I’m not even ready to get up in the morning?

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

I’ve never found a “Remember Me” checkbox that works. Nothing remembers me.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

They should make a drug that recreates the feeling of having your number called earlier than expected.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Normalize booing in the workplace.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Does anyone have the number of the witch from Snow White? I need a few apples.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

I suppose the supreme discipline for ninjas is sneaking up with flip flops.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Little do my friends know they’re healing me every time we hang out.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

My chakra went out for cigarettes.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

I hope I don’t die of something stupid like old age, I want a piano to fall on my head.

Going viral on Slack:

I’ve been dieting for a little over a week and I already gained three pounds.

Just landed via Reddit:

I wish people knew how good I can sing when I’m alone in my car and in my shower.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I hate having a messy house. Not enough to actually clean it, but enough to give it a disgusted stare while I peacefully relax on the couch.

Just landed via Reddit:

I look so pretty today. I should go for a walk and let the people enjoy this.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Did you ever stop to ask how Mercury feels about being in retrograde? No, because you only think about yourself.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

If I say goodnight and an hour later you see me online, it’s not that I lied; it’s just that I failed.

Making waves on Threads:

“Fries or salad?” sums up every adult decision you have to make.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Might start signing off emails with, “But what do I know.”

Just shared via Twitch:

Only bots from Nigeria are allowed to call me dear.

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