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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

I was not made for a 9 to 5; I was made to eat pasta and lay in the sun like a lizard.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

I wasn’t feeling well so I googled my symptoms. I either have allergies or I died two days ago.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

I miss when The Weeknd was making sex-addict-on-drugs music.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

When I’m done eating… I have to show my hands to my cat, like I’m a blackjack dealer.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Dear brain, please stop thinking so much exactly when it’s time to fall asleep.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

April fools prank: replace all the sugar in your house with cocaine.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Please don’t be mean to me, because I can be meaner and I hate being mean.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Forget carrying me to bed; carry me to the end of the workweek. Then we can talk.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

It amazes me how much exercise and extra fries sound alike.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

When my wife packs for a trip she basically moves out.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1894 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,056

Funny Quotes Topics

14,838

Funny Quotes Images

12,056

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,449

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

My ideal vacation would be to drop my family off at the airport and then have a week of peace and quiet.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

My extravagant lifestyle of paying for housing and buying groceries is really getting in the way of my ability to save money.

Trending via Messenger:

Dear deodorant manufacturers, please stop writing “72h” on your products. There are people who believe that. And they sit next to me on the bus. Always. All of them!

Going viral on Threads:

Yes, I know there is a really special place in hell for me. It’s called a throne.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I like my job, but if I had the opportunity to become a rich housewife, I would take it.

Just shared via Instagram:

I’m so single right now, I can’t even spell relayshaunship.

Spotted on Reddit:

Who called it a heatwave and not a temperature tantrum?

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Hey there, Delilah, we know you broke that dude’s heart.

Trending via X:

I love how spring sprung and then disappeared again.

Making waves on TikTok:

Life hack: Allow yourself 8–12 hours of alone time every morning to prepare for the day.

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Funny linguistic development quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1894 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,056

Funny Quotes Topics

14,838

Funny Quotes Images

12,056

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,440

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Hello bedtime my old friend, my brain is laughing once again.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

I am MTV, still played music videos, years old.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Nutrition labels should include an “What if I ate the whole thing” section.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

I have an emotional support chicken roasting in the oven.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Foreplay is great, I particularly like the part where I peel them, chop them into pieces, then roast them in the oven until they’re all crispy and delicious.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Vote for me and I will halve the calories in chocolate.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

Tai Chi is so crazy because it’s like throwing a slow motion tantrum.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

I have some cake and now I’m eating it too. Not seeing the problem here.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Amazing how fast my addiction to my phone is cured the moment I get a phone call.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

A gender-neutral equivalent of ‘sugar daddy’ is glucose guardian.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on LinkedIn:

Shout-out to the lifeguard who recommended moving the potato to the front of my Speedo.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

If I ever find out who stole my identity, I’ll pay all their debts and ruin their credit score just for fun.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I wonder what the other me’s are up to in other dimensions.

Just shared via X:

I don’t always push on pull doors but when I do, I do it two or three times to confirm how dumb I really am.

Making waves on Messenger:

My cat smells like cigarettes again and I’m sick of his excuses.

Just landed via Messenger:

Why are conclusions necessary in essays? Were you not following?

Spotted on YouTube:

Dating apps? No thanks, if I wanted to talk to someone for hours and accomplish nothing, I’d contact tech support.

Just shared via Messenger:

I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.

Spotted on YouTube:

Old enough to know better. Young enough to do it anyway.

Trending via Facebook:

If you like true crime stories, I highly recommend the history of the Catholic Church.

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