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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

My husband said we need to start exercising and get into shape, so I’m going to wake up early tomorrow and start looking for a new husband.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

For years I thought an oncologist was just the doctor they kept on-call at all times.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Automatic doors that don’t open fast enough make me look dumb.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Do goalies ever get lonely during a game?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

The empty spot in your bed is for snacks, not liars.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Children are so giving. For example, my kids gave me a cold.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Eat like your treadmill is watching.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

I refuse to go to a blood bank. I’m not taking your blood money.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Having a teenager is fun because the voice in my head that questions everything I do now has a friend.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

French fries are like the lifeboats on the Titanic. They never give you enough.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

805 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,967

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,967

5 minutes ago

3,431

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I eat posts like yours for breakfast.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Some people are wise; some are otherwise.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Probably the most empowered I’ve ever felt was that time I stuck a fork in a socket.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Listen to your body? The body that craves a lethal amount of Kinder Bueno?

Breaking via Reddit:

Welcome to middle age, where you wake up hungover whether you’ve had a drink or not.

Just landed via YouTube:

There are two classes of travel: first class and with children.

Just shared via TikTok:

Reading is a gateway drug to being less stupid.

Live now on WeChat:

Be nice today, the world is on fire.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Yeah, I’ll get up soon, I just need to look at the internet first. Yes, the whole thing.

Just shared via X:

For this Halloween I’ve trained my eyebrows to leap off my face and destroy those who’ve angered me.

Home » Funny Listing Quotes

Funny listing quotes

New funny listing quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: A house doesn’t have to be haunted to scare me, I’ve seen the listing prices.

Commentary:
"Who needs ghosts when you've got real estate prices haunting you like a specter? 👻💸 Better bring some holy water and a good mortgage deal when house-hunting! 🏠💰"

For even more funny listing quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny listing quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

805 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,967

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,967

5 minutes ago

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Me, having zero balance in my account, viewing houses worth 10 million, and being like, “No, I don’t like the kitchen.”

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Looking for someone whose favorite thing to do is nothing. No hiking. No adventure. Just bed rot.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

It sucks when you have to stand on an escalator for 30 minutes because of a power cut.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

I don’t think human beings were built to know everything going on in the world all the time.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Don’t fall in love. It’s bad.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

The Midwest urge to have a drink on a patio as soon as it’s nice out.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Since I’ve stayed away from most people, I get on much better with people.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

I saw God in a dream and all he did was brag about making Pedro Pascal.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

I’m so thankful I live on the planet that has pizza.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Given the amount of clowns around here, you’d think it would be more entertaining.

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Discord:

Mambo No. 5, but it’s in a minor key, and I’m naming women who didn’t text me back.

Spotted on Discord:

There are real people living amongst us who pay for Discord Nitro.

Just landed via YouTube:

Jewelry stores should just be like: Whether you’re trying to be nice or trying to get laid, we got you covered.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

The difference between a biography and an autobiography is self-explanatory.

Seen just now on Discord:

Me, seeing a man proposing to a woman in public: Hey, this guy bothering you?

Reported on Snapchat:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my kid noticing her sibling got a bigger slice of cake.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

The PhD student is someone who foregoes their current happiness in order to forego future happiness.

Going viral on Instagram:

Don’t judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect.

Live now on Twitch:

You’re telling me people get eight hours of sleep? Like in one night?

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Quitting my job to focus on staying inside.

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