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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Looking to sell my DeLorean. Great shape, low mileage. Only driven from time to time.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Today, I’m going to give it my almost.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Sitting next to you on an empty train and clicking my stopwatch every time you turn a page in your book.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

What is rizz if not swag persevering?!

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Saw a guy reading a book and writing notes in it. Not enough words in there for ya, bud?

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Being abducted by aliens could be just the vacation I need right now.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Adulthood is basically just trying to fall asleep at night and stay awake during the day.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Bluesky honestly feels like a miracle where you take the most annoying people in the world and stick them in a broken elevator together.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Apparently there is a bird fight club who holds their meetings outside my window at about 5am.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Not to brag, but what a time to be childless.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2406 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,568

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,568

Updated

42 minutes ago

Users Online

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

Sometimes, u just gotta clean your room and apply an elaborate skincare routine, and pretend that’s equivalent to getting ur life in order.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Elections make you feel like we’re all in divorce court waiting to see who gets custody of us.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Just once I’d like my dog to give me a treat.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I’m not good with plants or people, but I am good with books and buffets.

Breaking via Twitch:

I come from a family of failed magicians. I have two half sisters.

Live now on Instagram:

The best proof that fairy tales are fictional is the fact that the prince is always an intelligent and handsome single man.

Just shared via Twitch:

Adult friendships are difficult. The people I get on best with never want to leave the house either.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Just got hired at Five Guys as the guy who punches the burger before they put it in the bag.

Just landed via YouTube:

The best way to contact me is to meet me in my dreams at 3 a.m.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Why is Subway asking me for a tip? Bro, we made this sandwich together.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2406 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,568

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,568

Updated

42 minutes ago

Users Online

3,457

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

After my funeral, I want one of my friends to take my phone and text everyone, “Thanks for coming.”

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

I get shy when my man stares at me for too long because what if he’s realizing I’m actually a lil ugly.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

I actually love talking to strangers, they will unknowingly say some shit that shifts your perspective, and you never see them again.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Overheard the most hilarious conversation on my morning commute, then realized it was just me talking to myself in my car.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

They can steal your recipe, but the sauce won’t taste the same.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

They should invent a Sunday that’s longer than a couple of minutes.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

I’m so bored, I’m gonna join a poly-relationship and stage a coup and kick the main one out.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

In six days God created heaven and earth. On the seventh day, in the interests of balance, the BBC interviewed Satan.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

I successfully avoided the red-eye flight and got the much milder pink eye flight.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

My rapper name would be 2 stressd.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

I do not know how to put this gently, but part of being a good driver is using the gas and brake as little as humanly possible.

Going viral on YouTube:

Apparently it’s inappropriate to yell out “Shots, shots, shots, shots” while your child’s getting immunizations at the pediatrician’s office.

Just landed via Reddit:

Gave my family the wrong address for our beach rental. Hoping to get a couple days in before they find me.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Using my invisible hula hoop really freaks people out.

Freshly posted on Slack:

My husband needs a hearing aid, but refuses to get one because it’s the key to our happy marriage.

Just shared via Discord:

Technology has really helped me waste my time efficiently.

Trending via Telegram:

Just drafted the drunk text I’m going to send after one drink this weekend.

Live now on Discord:

You can make friends in a doctor’s waiting room as long as you have something broken and not something coughing.

Going viral on Messenger:

Some people post such depressing love shit that I start to miss their exes myself!

Making waves on LinkedIn:

The role I play at family gatherings is that of the cousin that doesn’t show up anymore.

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