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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

I don’t want to be dramatic, but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Reading a book is nice, but reading a book in the middle of the night when everyone is asleep is even better, it’s therapeutic.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

I thought Game of Thrones was a pooping contest for men.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Inside you, there are two wolves. Kevin Costner is dancing with both of them. I don’t know how this works.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

I don’t really care how you met your partner. Tell me about how you met your nemesis.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Urgh. Trying to buy a copy of Catch-22 online but the seller won’t post it until I’ve paid and I won’t pay until I’ve received it.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

If I’m ever mad at you, just talk to me in a sweeter and softer tone, and watch how quickly that anger disappears.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Most men don’t actually want to do things; they just want to talk about doing them.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

I can resist everything except temptation.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Whoever named them fitting rooms has a lot of nerve.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,561

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Slack:

Going to the beach the day after watching Jaws hits different.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Coffee should be free for everyone Monday through Friday.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Sometimes, when I need a really good night’s sleep, I call my burrito guy to come over and tuck me in.

Making waves on Reddit:

Whoever said having a crush is when you feel the most like Carrie Bradshaw was so real for that.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I’ve added lunges to my workout routine. It’s a big step forward.

Just landed via Snapchat:

If you sit down to play a game of chess and your opponent punches you in the face, you’re not going to prevail by getting better at chess.

Seen just now on Threads:

My biggest sexual fantasy is someone throwing a million dollars on my naked body and then leaving me alone.

Making waves on Slack:

The older I get, the less surprised I’d be if a random body part just fell off one day.

Live now on Twitch:

Ugh, those red and blue flashing lights are interfering with my driving and scrolling.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I sent you a message telepathically and you didn’t respond. Are you mad at me?

Funny mannequin quotes

Funny mannequin quotes bring a quirky twist to those silent store window stars 🛍️🤖! They turn stiff poses into laugh-out-loud moments, making fashion displays way more entertaining 😄👗. Whether it’s their awkward stares or frozen poses, these witty lines give mannequins a hilarious personality makeover 🎭😂. Get ready to see these lifeless models in a whole new, chuckle-worthy light!

New funny mannequin quotes 👇

All funny mannequin quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on LinkedIn this month:

A good hack to make my house look clean and tidy in the evening is to turn all the lights off.

70 shares on Telegram this month:

I hope this 17th text in a row with no response finds you well.

84 shares on Threads this month:

When a woman texts you three questions, you should only answer one. She will love that.

55 shares on Twitch this month:

A delivery driver just asked for my date of birth. I said, “94.” He replied, “Is that 1994?” Oh, sorry mate, no. My bad, that was 1794. Right around the French Revolution.

11 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t want to end this year on bad terms with anybody. Could you please apologize to me?

41 shares on Facebook this month:

My husband clearly believes that chairs just magically push themselves back in.

17 shares on Reddit this month:

It sucks that crazy people ruined wearing tinfoil hats for those of us that just did it for fashion purposes.

19 shares on Telegram this month:

Ok. I blinked 182 times. What happens now?

26 shares on X this month:

My wallet is empty, just like my soul.

90 shares on Twitch this month:

Whenever Im in trouble, I think, what would Jesus do? Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for 3 days.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time I have to leave the house and be around people I remember why I hate having to leave the house and be around people.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Ozzy Osbourne has mumbled through entire sentences, and I still understood him better than most of my exes.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Please respond to my telepathic messages.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Starting the second half of your sandwich is like “hell yeah, baby, let’s run it back!”

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If you can’t say anything nice, say something funny.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The world would be a better place if mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The toddler refers to every baby as Baby [Name], like Baby is their formal title.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Wild Friday night, and by wild, I mean me and the other psychopaths at the gym.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Eating healthy requires a second job.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,735

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here hating myself.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

According to a new study, people who often trail off in the middle of a sentence are 30% more likely to

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

I’m at a point in life where I’m just at a point.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

When you say “You’re going to hate me for this,” you’re making a very large assumption that I don’t hate you already.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

They won’t teach you this in school, but life is all about going to weird little diners.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

What I’ve learned in all these years of marriage is how to open a bottle of beer silently.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

It’s way too easy to lie online. I was just telling Beyoncé about that the other day.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

I’m so vulnerable to nostalgia. The sun will go down and I’ll be like: “Wow… remember when the sun was up… I miss who I was then”

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

I deal with my personal problems the same way I study for tests, I don’t.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

I think it’s extremely important, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

The tragedy of my life is that I theoretically know when I shouldn’t say anything. And then I hear myself talking.

Making waves on Twitch:

Why can’t I cry money instead of tears?

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Caught a belt loop on a door handle and got yanked back with such force that my audio is no longer in sync with my actions.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I can’t wait for my mom to come to my new house so she can tell me how I organized the kitchen wrong.

Live now on Slack:

The web is the only place where you encourage strangers to follow you. What could possibly go wrong?

Just landed via Reddit:

I don’t need alcohol to make bad decisions.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Packed all my meds into one bottle for a trip and accidentally invented the best trail mix.

Going viral on X:

Whoever named frogs got it 100% right. Those things are frogs.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I bet before the band got popular, Barenaked Ladies concerts had a lot of pissed off attendees.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Gaslighting myself into thinking I’m in a good mood.

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