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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

This year has gone by so quick. Christmas is basically tomorrow.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Girls be like, “Baby, I have a great idea,” and it’s a trip you have to pay for.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Horoscope: Many good things are in store for you! Unfortunately, the store is closed for repairs.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

I have two dogs: one dominates, the other is a subwoofer.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

80% of arguments start because someone hasn’t eaten yet.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Got fired from my job at the zoo because I kept trying to wax the turtles.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

If a demon ever possessed me, I’d just sit back and say, “Your problem now.”

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Need a professional way to say, “I do not care, don’t mention this to me again.”

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Burger King implies the existence of an entire burger based feudal system.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Weekends now feel like short commercial breaks in a stressful movie.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,340

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

I wish I could invoice people for wasting my time.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Sunsets and women are undoubtedly God’s best creations.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Beware. There are people in the grocery store that you know who want to chat with you. Stay vigilant.

Going bananas on X:

Even worse than the buzzing of the mosquitoes is the moment when it suddenly stops.

Just shared via Slack:

Apparently there is a bird fight club who holds their meetings outside my window at about 5am.

Spotted on Instagram:

Who is praying on my downfall right now and can you stop?

Just shared via Threads:

Cinderella had one night out, and it changed her life. I had one night out, and it changed my credit score.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Me before grocery shopping: only healthy foods, no impulse buys, I can do this. Me during grocery shopping: they make chocolate filled marshmallows?

Shared recently on Facebook:

My neighbor told me he heard me having sex this morning. I was putting on my shoes.

Shared recently on Discord:

Now if you’ll excuse me, today’s bad decisions aren’t going to make themselves.

Funny memory foam quotes

New funny memory foam quotes 👇

When you scream into your pillow, the memory foam never forgets.

1 week ago

comfort, expression, foam, forget, frustration, humor, memory, memory foam, never, pillow, scream, sleep

All funny memory foam quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on Pinterest this month:

I should be able to eat one huge meal a month, like a snake. This every-few-hours shit sucks.

81 shares on Slack this month:

“Well, at least tomorrow is Friday.” -Me, having a bad Wednesday that’s about to get even worse.

75 shares on Twitch this month:

One thing I have noticed about getting older is having to stop for a short nap halfway through scrolling down to my year of birth when completing online forms.

82 shares on Telegram this month:

I put the ‘no’ in ‘I will let u know’.

12 shares on Telegram this month:

If there was an award for staying at home, I’d win and then send someone else to pick it up for me.

35 shares on Pinterest this month:

Got my dog microchipped, so if he runs away, I can just press a button, and he’ll explode.

95 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m an adult, that’s why I can have Skittles for dinner.

13 shares on Snapchat this month:

No, I’m not “dating anyone.” I’m really busy playing outside.

18 shares on Slack this month:

I love befriending yappers. They bring the yapping out of me. Then we yap together. Yapping is so much fun.

59 shares on Reddit this month:

What an embarrassing time to be alive.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Was in a bookshop and asked a worker if he could recommend books to me. He said, ‘Sure, they’re great.’

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Currently helping my husband look for his $20 I spent yesterday.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

The smarter you are, the more important it is for you to figure out how to think less.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

It’s really hard to come back after a poorly executed high five.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

I’m trying to shower you with affection. It doesn’t matter how I got into your bathroom.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

“Thanks for your payment!” Shut up. I paid that bill against my will.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

I don’t know who needs to hear this right now, but it’s time to fold the laundry that’s been lying around since last Sunday.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Sorry for acting weird, I am weird, and it will happen again.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Some days you feel like you’re surrounded by idiots, other days you realize it’s not just some days.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

You should be able to like an email instead of replying to it.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Discord:

All my small talk is done with a car horn.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I’m always a little mean to men because, if you treat them like humans, they think you wanna sleep with them.

Breaking via Reddit:

Damn, didn’t win the lottery. It’s messing up my budget plan.

Shared recently on Discord:

Everyone thinks they’re brave right up until a goose starts chasing them.

Going bananas on WeChat:

One of the voices in my head brought up an excellent point, so obviously he had to go.

Freshly posted on X:

Did 900 crunches today. It was a bag of Cheetos, but still.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Today, I want to talk about underperforming continents. Antarctica, explain yourself.

Spotted on Instagram:

Many years ago, I stood up to 100-200 million others only to sit in meetings now.

Breaking via X:

There are only two kinds of people, and I avoid them both.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I don’t hide from my problems, I just ignore them until they lose interest.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny memory foam quotes

New funny memory foam quotes 👇

When you scream into your pillow, the memory foam never forgets.

All funny memory foam quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

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