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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Sorry I’m late, traffic is exactly how it’s been every day for the past couple years, and I was not expecting that.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

How my weekend was? Light, dark, light, dark, Monday.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Don’t go chasing waterfalls? The place where many video games hide easter eggs and other rare items?

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Honestly, how women are drawn in a manga is typically (though not always) a good clue for what demographic a manga series is.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Gaslighting myself into thinking I’m in a good mood.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

I got fired for telling customers if they wanted “smoking or non-smoking”. Apparently, the correct term in the funeral home business is “cremation or burial”.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Are you even a parent if you’ve never carried your child out of a store sideways like a surfboard?

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Your honor, when I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean in contempt.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Dear brain, please stop thinking so much exactly when it’s time to fall asleep.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Sometimes I think about Adam and Eve and how they couldn’t even get a babysitter.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

Updated

2 hours ago

Users Online

3,457

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

Is Craigslist still around, or did everyone over there get murdered?

Seen just now on Instagram:

I told my psychiatrist I’ve been hearing voices lately. He told me I don’t have a psychiatrist.

Trending via Reddit:

All I do is go to work, come home, blink and suddenly I’m back at work.

Making waves on Telegram:

I love when my grandma texts me — because I know it took her an hour.

Seen just now on Instagram:

We went out on a boat to see whales and the crew encouraged us to clap and cheer for the whales and boo at the regular fish.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

The three people who like every single one of my posts are going in my will.

Making waves on WeChat:

Bit strange that the same culture is responsible for both kissing and onion soup. You’d think they’d be incompatible.

Just shared via Snapchat:

It’s crazy that you don’t really argue with a baby for the first year of its life and then you have to argue with the baby every day.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Tell me I’d look good in a potato sack or lose me forever.

Freshly posted on X:

A good relationship is when she is by your side during bad times to tell you that none of this would have happened if you had just listened to her.

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Funny movie comparison quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

Updated

2 hours ago

Users Online

3,429

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

How do I tell someone respectfully to die in a fire?

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Penguins are just ducks going to a wedding.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Just done a HIIT workout and if anyone sees me trying to do that again just go ahead and hiit me in the face.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

A couple of years ago, the internet was an escape from the real world. Today, the real world is an escape from the internet.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Peeling a sweaty sports bra off counts as aerobic exercise, right?

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

I don’t know how to flirt, but you can watch me eat fresh fruit in my sundress.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Autocorrect changed ‘are you around?’ to ‘are you aroused?’ and my buddy didn’t want to hang out today.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Men used to go to war, now they drinking matcha.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Imagine you get to the gates of heaven and they make you download an app to go in.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Tornadoes are the most relaxing things in the news.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

I composed this post in a way that only the sexy can read it, so congratulations.

Trending via Reddit:

The secret to being a private person is to overshare dumb shit so people think you are an open book but then not tell them any of the important details of your life.

Breaking via Facebook:

You can put refrigerator magnets on your car, too. There are no rules.

Just landed via Messenger:

The husband, child, and dog are all snoring. WTF is this?

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

“I’m just playing devil’s advocate here.” Ok, why are you helping the devil?

Going viral on Discord:

Me as the therapist: “Listen, just take a nap!”

Making waves on TikTok:

Walking into someone’s house with healthy, thriving houseplants everywhere: “Oh, I see you dabble in witchcraft!”

Trending via Messenger:

Dear people who talk on speakerphone out in public. Everyone around you hates you.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

As you get older, nothing loses its sting more than an authority figure saying they are disappointed in you. Like, I don’t know what to tell you, dude, we can’t both live in the prison of your expectations.

Making waves on Snapchat:

When I say I’m saving myself for marriage, what I mean is you won’t know how annoying I am until it’s too late.

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