Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

There is a giant spider on my dash so I’m going to have to buy a new car now.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

I finally have glasses, which is great because I needed one more thing to frantically search for every morning.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

“Do you like the Microsoft Teams app?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Getting tipsy at a dimly lit restaurant with good conversation would heal me right now.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

I think I’ma end the year with a plot twist, everyone hold on tight.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Yoda, seeing himself in 4K: HDMI

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

I don’t give people directions. What if no one wants them there?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

We interrupt coverage of one horrible story for breaking news of another horrible story.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

My lip gloss used to be poppin’, now it’s my knees.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

I figured out how they built the pyramids. No internet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,384

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Social media needs to crash for like a year so society can recalibrate.

Just shared via Reddit:

All I’m saying is that I’m closer to being a millionaire than Jeff Bezos is.

Shared recently on Telegram:

At some point, my colleagues will manage to get me my own true crime documentary on Netflix.

Seen just now on Discord:

How can people lift weights? My arms get tired just by putting my hair up in a ponytail.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I admire the audacity of beavers, they just move to a new area and say “screw the neighbors, imma put a lake here”.

Spotted on Discord:

He took my last fry, your honor.

Spotted on YouTube:

Guys, please stop wearing NASA shirts, I bet you can’t even name one of their songs.

Going viral on Discord:

My age is news to me every single time I remember.

Trending via Twitch:

Looking for someone to take to couples therapy and see how long it takes the therapist to notice we don’t know each other.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

If she replies to your sarcasm with more sarcasm, that’s a whole life.

Funny new idea quotes

New funny new idea quotes 👇

Why would I finish my thought when I could have a new, more exciting one?

0

2 months ago

distraction, excitement, exciting, finish, humor, i, idea, new, new idea, spontaneity, thought, why

Someone from 🇳🇦 has recently shared this quote.

51 shares on X this month.

All funny new idea quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on Threads this month:

I have the bruises of a much more active person.

45 shares on Discord this month:

Some Uber rides in NYC are the same price as a JetBlue flight to Miami.

95 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’d rather lose you than the argument.

54 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m one of those lucky people that can eat whatever they want and not put on any clothes.

65 shares on Discord this month:

If I got $5 every time I thought of you, I would start thinking of you.

78 shares on YouTube this month:

Don’t forget to be mean to strangers on the internet today, for no reason whatsoever.

16 shares on Reddit this month:

Sorry, my bedroom looks like a child with a credit card decorated it. Do you still want to bone?

92 shares on Slack this month:

A little mystery is the sweetest seduction.

85 shares on WeChat this month:

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

85 shares on X this month:

The only warning I take seriously these days is when my cell phone battery is low.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

A haunted house, but it’s just all apps and websites where you got logged out but can’t remember your password.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

I exaggerated on my job application and said I wanted to work for a living.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

My name is Bob but my friends don’t call me.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

“Treat yourself. You deserve it,” she says while adding the shoes to her cart.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

If I had The Force, I’d just use it to open pistachios.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Might start signing off emails with, “But what do I know.”

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

May the hardest part of your day be getting the jeans over your butt.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

You told your cat how much you love him, but now it’s morning, the sun is out, you’re sober, and it’s just weird for both of you.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. Most of the time. Once in a while. Never mind, I’ll buy my own stuff.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

The word “ugly” cannot be used on women, I’m sorry. Women just can’t be ugly, that’s a boy thing.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

Dear people who talk on speakerphone out in public. Everyone around you hates you.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I’m going to sleep. Anyone want anything?

Just landed via Reddit:

Where do I see myself in 5 years? I don’t even know where I am right now.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Weed smokers be like, “Hold up — before we go to the store, I have to get scared.”

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Coffee doesn’t solve all my problems. But it definitely stops me from constantly creating new ones.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I’m so old that when I take a walk down memory lane, I get lost.

Going bananas on Instagram:

My wife just admitted a mistake. What do I have to do now? What does this mean for my future? Help me!

Trending via TikTok:

People would be more motivated to lose weight if the weight they lost went on to someone they didn’t like.

Trending via TikTok:

Hairless cats look like the devil screwed up a possession.

Live now on WeChat:

People are too judgmental these days… I can tell just by looking at them.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny new idea quotes

New funny new idea quotes 👇

Why would I finish my thought when I could have a new, more exciting one?

All funny new idea quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨