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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Don’t ever forget where you came from. That’s where you left your car.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Getting accused of using AI when you didn’t is like this century’s version of a witch allegation.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

I don’t understand baby oil. What are we greasing up all those babies for?

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

I like running because it’s cheaper than paying for a gym membership. If the gym wants the money I owe them, they’ll have to catch me.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

I may join the cicadas this summer and just scream for six weeks straight.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

“Quit” is not in my vocabulary but “resign”, “drop out”, and “give up” are.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Centaurs can’t wipe their asses.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Was that meant to be a joke or did you just accidentally spill a bunch of words you were carrying around?

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

When I tell my kids I’ll do something in a minute, what I’m really saying is “Please forget.”

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Skinny people are easier to get blown around by storms. These donuts are for my safety.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,541

Funny Quotes Topics

16,780

Funny Quotes Images

14,541

Updated

Nov 26, 2025

Users Online

3,971

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Messenger:

If you’re going to text your boss that you’re an hour late, make sure you end with, “I’m bringing you a ham and cheese croissant.”

Just shared via X:

You’d seriously think I was wanted for murder by the way I react when someone knocks on the door.

Spotted on Slack:

I grew up in a poor family. We didn’t have much, but we had each other. And that was the worst part.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

The most I’ve ever spent on a bottle of wine is about 45 minutes.

Spotted on Messenger:

All of my fitness goals are within reach, but unfortunately, so are the crisps.

Going viral on Facebook:

I hate taking my pants off at the dentist. So humiliating.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I keep myself humble by messing up all the time.

Making waves on Pinterest:

People who live in glass houses should be put on a watchlist.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Some people aren’t just missing a screw, the whole toolbox is gone.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

You know you’ve mastered marriage when you shout to your husband, “Take the thing off the thing,” and he immediately knows what to do.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,541

Funny Quotes Topics

16,780

Funny Quotes Images

14,541

Updated

Nov 26, 2025

Users Online

3,570

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Opening a Star Wars pub called Bar Bar Binks.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Get in loser. We’re going on a guilt trip.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

I think my type is a nice person.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Changed my bio on bumble to “I’m gonna murder ur whole family” and guys still responded.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Typing in your email address on the TV is a different type of irritation.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Video games are great. They let you try out your craziest fantasies. For example, on The Sims, you can have a job and a house.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

What bootlickers fail to understand is that the boot eventually comes for them too.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Women’s skincare is so confusing. Am I supposed to look shiny and sweaty, or matte like cement?

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

This meeting could have been a pajama party.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

Due to rising prices, Dollar Tree is changing their name to ‘Tree Fiddy’.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

Sorry, my bedroom looks like a child with a credit card decorated it. Do you still want to bone?

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

“You’re so understanding,” yeah, because I don’t want to go to prison for the rest of my life.

Trending via X:

Please, if you ever offer me a snack and I say no, ask me again, I didn’t mean it the first time.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Good luck to everyone out there trying to gather enough energy to function this week.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Of course there’s birth control for men. It’s called the way they act.

Spreading quickly via X:

Caveman: I just invented the wheel. Journalist: Here’s why the wheel is bad for humanity.

Spotted on Reddit:

I used to blame all my problems on my parents, but now that I’m a grown up, I have come to terms with the fact that when bad things happen to me, it’s probably just that Mercury’s in retrograde again.

Trending via WeChat:

I could tell my beard needed a trim when I started seeing some of the pictures my kids were drawing of me.

Breaking via TikTok:

Starting is the hardest part. Unless it’s eating chocolate. Then stopping is the hardest part.

Trending via Discord:

I was thinking of becoming self employed, but due to cutbacks, I can’t afford to hire me right now.

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