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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

We argue about where to go for dinner for so long, it eventually becomes an argument on where to go for breakfast.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

“Stop talking about old drama!” God forbid a girl and her bestie enjoy their history lessons.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

You say “multitask” like it’s a good thing.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Gutted to report that spending a day offline, touching grass with my friends, was phenomenal for my mental health.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

The guy that said laughter is the best medicine obviously wasn’t suffering from diarrhea.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Amazon’s checkout needs a breathalyzer feature which cancels your order if you’ve been clearly drunk-shopping.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

If snails are so slow, why don’t we ever see them coming? It’s just BAM, there’s a snail.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Strict parents raise good liars.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Quitting my job to focus on being in love.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

All I’m saying is that big burgers should be wider not taller.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

804 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,966

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,966

Updated

10 minutes ago

Users Online

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I will be notified immediately.

Just landed via Facebook:

When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

We should all start texting each other like old time explorers. ‘Dearest friend, I have survived another week. The horrors persist.’

Seen just now on Telegram:

We like to vilify hot people, but it’s important to know that people who aren’t hot are also terrible.

Breaking via Pinterest:

My Native American name would be Smokes Cigarettes.

Breaking via Threads:

I can sing all the words to the intro song of DuckTales, what’s your flex?

Breaking via Threads:

Does anyone have the number of the witch from Snow White? I need a few apples.

Spotted on YouTube:

Dear liars, I hope every pair of pants you own are on fire.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I could never abuse substances, they mean a lot to me.

Trending via WeChat:

A genie that does my bidding would fix me.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

804 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,966

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,966

Updated

10 minutes ago

Users Online

3,423

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

No one is excited to see me in shorts except mosquitoes.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Ten million people accused me of exaggerating today.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

The worst part about re-watching Home Alone is you just know Kevin’s parents bought this house for like $250K.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Watching “Dirty Dancing” as a teenager: Damn right, no one puts Baby in a corner. Watching “Dirty Dancing” as an adult: This girl is a brat and needs a lesson.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

As an exorcist, whenever I hear of some new poor soul possessed by a demon, all I can think is Ka-Ching!

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

If I were a billionaire, I wouldn’t build rockets to escape to Mars. I would build rockets to make everyone else leave Earth.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

If you call me from a private number, I’ll respect your privacy and won’t answer.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Why can’t they use deep fake technology for good instead of evil? Like taking Zoom meetings for you, stuff like that.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

If anyone wants to watch the Super Bowl on a large 8k TV, come on over to my place (and bring a large 8k TV).

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Messenger:

The guy who drills the holes so you can assemble IKEA furniture is clearly having problems at home.

Making waves on Instagram:

The problem is that you are in the dating pool when the other fish are in the ocean.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

You are not in a situationship. You are texting a man who doesn’t like you.

Making waves on Threads:

Our parents were right all along, the music is too loud.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I like to listen to the national anthems during the award ceremonies. I’m into country music.

Trending via Messenger:

If I could do it all over again, I would ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.

Just shared via Reddit:

I wish I had a pair of skinny genes.

Just shared via Instagram:

Nothing worse than when I turn up to Park Run to find it is indeed going ahead.

Reported on WhatsApp:

Genuinely nothing worse than going bowling with people who are actually good. Like, why are you doing all that?

Freshly posted on Discord:

I never feel more alone than when I’m trying to put sunscreen on my back.

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