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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

People who scream sneeze need their own island.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

They should have a special lane for texting and driving.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Do you ever want sleep but sleep doesn’t want you?

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

The real morning people are the ones that wake up to call radio stations.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

We need a true crime show called Downtown Stabby.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Don’t ever forget where you came from. That’s where you left your car.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Just because I’m up sharing posts at 7 a.m. doesn’t mean I’m up. Don’t call my phone.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Not to brag, but I can put my socks on without sitting down.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Every time I see an odd screw on the floor somewhere, I think one of my loose ones has finally come out.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

If I’m too quiet you can rest assured I’m in the process of planning my sweet escape or your equally sweet demise.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

771 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,933

Funny Quotes Topics

13,906

Funny Quotes Images

10,933

Updated

5 minutes ago

Users Online

3,420

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

The secret ingredient to being really funny is childhood trauma.

Just landed via Messenger:

Police officer: please step out of your vehicle. Me: after this song, hold on.

Reported on Slack:

Whenever I get up my cat gets up too and then yells at me like it’s my fault she decided we have to do this together.

Breaking via Twitch:

Some things are better left alone, like me, for instance.

Trending via TikTok:

I’m not actively avoiding you. I don’t actively do anything.

Just shared via Discord:

I don’t think fish should be allowed to eat other fish. I don’t know. Just seems weird. That’s like your coworker, dude.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

You do not have to prove your own humanity to others. Unless it’s a captcha.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be turning you into a poem.

Going viral on X:

According to your ex, what’s exactly wrong with you?

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

For financial reasons, I will be passing away.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

771 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,933

Funny Quotes Topics

13,906

Funny Quotes Images

10,933

Updated

5 minutes ago

Users Online

3,440

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Hope this email finds you moonwalking out of work early.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

I’m pretty sure my husband’s favorite sound is the oven range fan turning on when I start making dinner.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Driving to work, and I just reached down to touch my leg to make sure I have pants on.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

I miss my bed. Why does it have to be so far from where I work?

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Why would I date a nonchalant man? I like my men how I like my thong.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

If I ever go missing, please print my picture on wine bottles and not on milk boxes. My friends are more likely to find me then.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

A Southerner dies every time you people type “ya’ll” instead of “y’all,” btw.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Out of sheer boredom, I opened the front door and rang the doorbell. I was so happy.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

My kid asked me if I’ve ever experienced hallucinations, which is an odd thing to ask considering I don’t have any kids.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

I’m sorry that I’m canceling plans. I made them last week when I assumed that, by now, I’d be a different person.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

Don’t play with the feelings I barely have.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

D was probably like “lmao ok” when they named the alphabet the ABCs

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

The worst part about borrowing money is having to pay it back or move to a new city.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Never understood why people train their dogs to sit pretty or roll over when there are useful tricks like empty the dishwasher or fold the laundry.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

You ever spend the day with a skinny person and are like “ohhhh, that’s why you’re skinny”.

Reported on Threads:

Everyone thinks they won’t be that couple that goes from ‘everything you do is a turn-on’ to ‘you’re breathing too loud,’ but they will be, oh, they will be.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Deleted old Tweets just in case I date a very famous woman with rabid fans.

Trending via Instagram:

Men shouldn’t be allowed to download any app other than Wikipedia.

Spotted on YouTube:

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I would like to thank my middle finger for always sticking up for me when I needed it.

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