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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has downloaded:

Humidity is great because then people think it’s not my fault that my hair looks like this.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ด has downloaded:

Letโ€™s ride this misunderstanding into the sunset.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ช has shared:

Saying “Hmmmm” when my boss walks in so he knows I’m thinking about stuff.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฌ has shared:

Your girlfriend needs two hours to get ready. But if you don’t have your shoes on when she’s ready, you’re the problem.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฑ has downloaded:

If you wait until the last minute to do something, it only takes a minute to do it.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ป has downloaded:

Running to the boarding gate is my favorite workout.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has viewed:

Toddlers: the brutally honest roommates nobody asked for!

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช has viewed:

I have nothing nice to wear for the government shutdown.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡บ has downloaded:

People on Facebook be like โ€œcan anyone tell me about a thing I can easily Google myself?โ€

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡พ has downloaded:

The possibility of monsters residing underneath your bed is negated when the mattress is positioned on the floor.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

calculatingโ€ฆ

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,731

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Going bananas on YouTube:

I will marry a man who treats me delicately as if I’m a gift straight from heaven.

Trending via YouTube:

There’s nothing that I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

If you ever need nothing, I’m here for you.

Live now on Pinterest:

Proverbs are so mean. Like, I don’t deserve any worm because I woke up at 11am? Like, no worm at all?

Spotted on Reddit:

I like how people say โ€œtravel safelyโ€ like Iโ€™m the one flying the plane.

Making waves on Telegram:

Don’t worry, guys. Together we can eliminate logic and reason on social media. I see some of you are already ahead of the game. Way to go!

Making waves on Telegram:

I want to clarify that what I publish on social media does not define me as a person; I am worse.

Just landed via YouTube:

Can I come over and shed hair everywhere?

Spotted on YouTube:

Really looking forward to the day my teenager starts speaking English again.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I donโ€™t want kids, but I do want grandkids. Hoping science finds a way.

1112 Funny people quotes

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Social Media Stars โญ

48 shares on YouTube this month:

A haunted house, but itโ€™s just all apps and websites where you got logged out but canโ€™t remember your password.

17 shares on Twitch this month:

Without freedom of speech we wouldnโ€™t know who the idiots are.

100 shares on Reddit this month:

At the strip club sighing until one of the dancers asks me what’s wrong.

47 shares on Instagram this month:

Imagine you get to the gates of heaven and they make you download an app to go in.

33 shares on Telegram this month:

Everyone’s worried about a recession, but babes, we’re heading for a dark age.

85 shares on Twitch this month:

In Hell, “Cotton Eye Joe” plays on an eternal loop. The heat and fire are actually pleasant compared to that.

62 shares on Threads this month:

I’m really into writing short fiction, mainly to-do lists.

48 shares on Threads this month:

“Home Alone” is a holiday reminder that peace begins the moment everyone leaves the house.

55 shares on Snapchat this month:

Iโ€™m addicted to following the rules I made up. And also breaking the rules I made up.

33 shares on TikTok this month:

I know I just ate a snack, but I could really use a snack.

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes ๐Ÿ’ฅ

11 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Disliking me is valid. I probably confronted you on your poor behavior, while everyone else just accepted it.

17 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Sometimes nature makes art, like trees, waterfalls, and the human butt.

11 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I hear the responses my young siblings give my mom, and Iโ€™m speechless; they donโ€™t know the commando she was in her prime.

20 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

“Too much garlic”? What’s next? Too much love? Too much desire?

24 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Just once, Iโ€™d love to underthink a situation.

10 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Someone at work is gonna suggest you download Outlook and Teams on your phone, and itโ€™s very important that you donโ€™t listen to them.

11 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

If Spotify has taught me anything, itโ€™s that I donโ€™t know the correct lyrics to any of my favorite songs.

17 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

The world is my ostrich, or whatever.

19 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Whoever first said, โ€œIt gets to a point,โ€ was definitely at that point, and I feel them deeply.

18 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

If I’m too much, go find less. I’m not running a clearance sale.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

calculatingโ€ฆ

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,432

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ณ has bookmarked:

I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and I don’t want to see you every day.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ช has shared:

Roses are red. I’m going to bed.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ซ has bookmarked:

Talking to some people is like folding a fitted sheet.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has copied:

Pretty messed up that my body, a chemistry lab made of meat, simply chooses to make me feel a little bit nervous for no reason.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡ณ has copied:

Liking a post I don’t understand just to impress the algorithm.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ช has bookmarked:

Flossed the day before a dentist appointment like I was cramming for a history test.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ง has copied:

Using my one phone call to call Santa.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has shared:

My family passed down mood swings and anxiety instead of money or houses.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ณ has shared:

I am convinced that size matters, especially when it comes to the heart.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has downloaded:

My spirit animal is that one bird that knocks itself unconscious, flying into windows.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Just landed via Reddit:

โ€œSo, what are your hobbies?โ€ Oh, I canโ€™t afford any.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Why do babies stare at you like they know you from somewhere?

Seen just now on Telegram:

Iโ€™m so talented I can not only spill food on my clothes but I can get it on yours too.

Trending via Facebook:

Thinking of starting a true crime podcast. Gotta explain this search history somehow.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

So we have actual fact checkers who know all the facts? Why not create a TV channel where they just give us the facts? We could call it the News.

Just shared via X:

Iโ€™m not here to offend anyone; Iโ€™m here to offend everyone.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Thatโ€™s kind of sexy of you to be a little weird.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently, and I’ve decided that I really don’t want to do that any more.

Just shared via Messenger:

You ever cleaned a room in your house so good that you walked out… just to walk back in to see your work?

Seen just now on Threads:

Pet owners be like “this is my pet Snoopy, but their nicknames are Booboo and Thicky Boy!”

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