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Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Nudes are outdated. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

People who take care of chickens are literally chicken tenders.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

There has been a British voice in my head saying, “Bit sad innit,” for the past few weeks.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

When does hibernation actually begin? I wanna take part this year.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

I will not hesitate to use dark magic on you.

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It was me, I let the dogs out.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Therapy is expensive, getting lost in the woods and never being seen again is free.

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What I lack in moves on the dance floor, I more than make up for in dancing around a conversation.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Icarus loved hot wings.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

No revenge, because losing someone like me is enough.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

3,775

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

Leave me alone, man. I’m just living my life like a candle in the wind.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Only at 27 do you become old, and then when you turn 30, you become younger than ever. That’s just how it goes.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

You aren’t from the Midwest unless you can spin out in the snow, regain control and keep driving like nothing happened.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Imagine applying for a job, then not picking up calls from random numbers.

Going viral on Facebook:

I’ve saved every episode of Hoarders.

Just shared via Reddit:

I had bad luck with women twice. The first left me, the second stayed.

Going bananas on WeChat:

That “never again” talk with yourself after a certain experience is always funny.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

You don’t get to comment on the world until you’ve made your bed.

Live now on X:

IP address? You mean the bathroom?

Trending via Reddit:

You gotta ask people nowadays, are you single single, mad at your partner single, blocked single or single just in your head.

Home » Funny Pet Policy Quotes

Funny pet policy quotes

New funny pet policy quotes 👇

My boss doesn’t want dogs in the office. But he didn’t say anything about alpacas.

0

2 months ago

alpacas, animals, boss, dogs, humor, office, pet, pet policy, policy, say, want, workplace, workplace humor

All funny pet policy quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Today my coworker asked if I wanted to hold her new baby and neither of us were prepared for me saying why?

63 shares on Reddit this month:

Rudolph’s bright red nose would not have done anything to improve Santa’s visibility in dense fog.

55 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m not an early bird or a night owl, I’m some sort of permanently exhausted pigeon.

50 shares on Facebook this month:

Having a crush is so fun, it’s literally just butterflies and delusion.

32 shares on Threads this month:

Old people like to golf every day because they are so sick of everyone’s shit and just wanna repeatedly whack something.

54 shares on LinkedIn this month:

By my second “could we change the subject?” I could feel the job interview going south.

38 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My morning yoga routine has really helped shift my lower back pain into my upper back.

29 shares on Twitch this month:

Twitter actually is my diary, so you’re not allowed to get mad at the things I post. You’re not even supposed to be reading this. Why were you going through my stuff?

80 shares on Threads this month:

Every weekend has two days: Saturday and It’s Monday Tomorrow.

16 shares on Facebook this month:

“You’re so quick to cut someone off!” God forbid a girl actually has self-respect.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

I don’t know why “you made your bed now lie in it” is a bad thing. It sounds great! I’ll even lie in a bed I didn’t make.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

They should invent a good thing that happens.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Nothing makes me feel more powerful than when I write ‘furthermore’ in an email.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

If politicians can text my cell phone asking for money, I should be able to text them directly with policy suggestions.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

If you are sad, just sing and you will realize that your voice is worse than your problem.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

I would like to have the peace of mind of a cow. I already have the body.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

If anything I post makes you mad, just know that it pleases me.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

I’m done wasting money this summer, unless you guys want to do something this weekend.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

I look so pretty today. I should go for a walk and let the people enjoy this.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

If I don’t duck my head when I drive into the parking garage, what’s gonna keep my car from hitting the ceiling?

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I lied, there’s no sex. I just needed help getting out of my skinny jeans.

Going bananas on Slack:

When someone giving me directions says, “You can’t miss it,” I would love to tell them just how wrong they were if I could find my way back to them.

Going viral on Facebook:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, can you give it a really good massage?

Seen just now on Telegram:

Being weird never goes out of style.

Trending via Facebook:

Sorry for what I said when I was drunk. I meant every word.

Breaking via YouTube:

I need the youth to start reading. Even if it’s the tag on your underwear. Read it.

Trending via Pinterest:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. How many minutes did you spend listening to your girlfriend this year?

Seen just now on Threads:

Stop asking me if I’m tired. Can’t I just be ugly?

Shared recently on Telegram:

Play the Grindr notification noise at Christmas dinner to see which conservative relatives panickedly check their phone ringer.

Going bananas on Threads:

Woke up, twerked in the mirror and laid back down.

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Funny pet policy quotes

New funny pet policy quotes 👇

My boss doesn’t want dogs in the office. But he didn’t say anything about alpacas.

All funny pet policy quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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