Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Crazy to think that even after all of these years the Titanic’s pool still has water in it.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Happy Earth Day. You don’t look a day over 4 billion years and get hotter every year.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

The only thing you can count on with some people is that you can’t count on them.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

We’re limited only by our imagination and some federal agencies.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

In my house the roles are reversed cause my kids tell me to turn my music down.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

I’m so old, I used to cry as a child because I fell off my skateboard or bike, not because I didn’t have wifi.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

If I were Juliet, I would NOT be pleased to find a man standing under my balcony at midnight. Sir, I am in my jim-jams.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

I don’t understand people who don’t have kids. Imagine having absolutely nobody to blame when you’re late.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Why do coffee beans smell so good, and coffee breath is like bleh?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

I really think my coworkers and I deserve an Oscar for acting like everything at work is fine.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

824 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,986

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,986

Updated

18 minutes ago

Users Online

3,425

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

If a tree falls in a forest and doesn’t make a sound, maybe that’s where your kid should be practicing the piano.

Freshly posted on Threads:

People don’t realize how hard you ride for them until you park.

Spotted on Twitch:

A beaver is an otter that has studied architecture.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

The Cranberries. Great band name. You pick a fruit and you get to work.

Breaking via X:

I’m so old, I used to block people by simply holding the door shut.

Seen just now on Slack:

“Real Housewives” is a great oxymoron because nothing about them is real.

Just shared via Slack:

My toxic trait is that I give my friends mental health advice when I belong in an asylum.

Trending via Telegram:

Wearing a condom while she’s on birth control is called two-factor authentication.

Trending via Messenger:

Anxiety should have a loyalty rewards program.

Just shared via Facebook:

Called in, “Hey, macarena!” this morning.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

824 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,986

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,986

Updated

18 minutes ago

Users Online

3,441

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

I bought my antidepressants off of Temu and now I glow in the dark.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

I don’t have mirrors in my house. I mean, who wants to see disappointment everyday?

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

My boyfriend moved in with me straight from Hotel Mama. In a way, I’m now a single parent.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Every time I blink, it’s Monday again. I can’t live like this.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

My four moods: I’m too old for doing that. I’m too tired for doing that. I’m too sober for doing that. I don’t have time for doing that.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

The cool thing about being a procrastinator is, really bad ideas also don’t ever make it off the ground.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Woke up and immediately broke my resolution to be less sexy this year.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Welcome to Netflix. We have everything but what you want to watch.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

I’ll bet the guy who invented the snooze button never invented anything else.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

I don’t always leave the house, but when I do, I shouldn’t.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

Don’t tell me about your wild weekend. My TV remote died and I switched the batteries around, and now it’s working.

Trending via Instagram:

If I ever become a ghost, I’m gonna go back and haunt college me. Tell him to hydrate.

Going viral on Messenger:

Hi, where do you meet someone without dating apps and if you never leave your apartment? I need tips, please. Urgently!

Spotted on Instagram:

They should invent a customer service center that isn’t “currently experiencing higher than normal call volume”.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Meeting Beyoncé and telling her I loved her in Goldmember and mentioning nothing about her music career, just to see if it throws her off.

Just shared via Telegram:

A moment of silence for those who hate us but can’t unfriend us because they’re afraid of not knowing what’s happening in our lives.

Going viral on YouTube:

Hit my coworker with “you’re a lucky man” after I saw a picture of his wife just to let him know that I want to sleep with her.

Trending via X:

You can’t spell disappointment without me.

Going viral on Threads:

Due to personal reasons, I’m evil now.

Just landed via X:

My kids act like they’re afraid of monsters, when they are literally the most terrifying creatures I’ve ever met.

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