Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

With age comes wisdom. And digestive trouble.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

You’re so cultured I’mma start calling you Yogurt.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

“Do something with your life.” Um, I am. Have you heard of a little thing called squandering?

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Lack of sex really gets you mad at every little thing for no reason.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Living with a dog is 90% following each other around, watching each other go potty, and wondering what the other has in their mouth.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

I used to think money is everything. I still think money is everything.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

I wonder how biology explains that pain in your chest you get when you found out your partner cheated on you.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

If I were a bird, you’d be the first person I’d shit on.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

I don’t have a favorite vampire. If you ask me, they all suck.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

They should have a special lane for texting and driving.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,551

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

I don’t hide from my problems, I just ignore them until they lose interest.

Shared recently on Slack:

If you want to know who the bad guys are, it is the side who wants you arrested for memes and jokes.

Live now on Snapchat:

“No idea” doesn’t mean I don’t know the answer. I just don’t want to have a conversation.

Spotted on Twitch:

Buying a new phone isn’t even satisfying anymore. It’s literally just your old phone with a haircut.

Spotted on X:

HR is giving me a hard time because I’ve been starting all my work emails with “Dearly Beloved”.

Going bananas on Discord:

Have you ever accidentally opened your front-facing camera, and it ruined your day a little?

Just landed via Discord:

It’s amazing how cats can ignore you with both ears.

Trending via Messenger:

Patience and forbearance are those qualities you develop when there are too many witnesses.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Why do we call it tuna fish? Is there any other tuna out there that’s not a fish?

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

No matter how bad your day seems, just remember that someone out there has line danced to Achy Breaky Heart.

Funny playful discipline quotes

New funny playful discipline quotes 👇

All funny playful discipline quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on Threads this month:

IKEA products should be cheaper, I’m doing all the work here. It’s like ordering takeout food and still having to cook it when it arrives.

41 shares on Instagram this month:

The show “How I Met Your Mother” was just a really long TED talk.

97 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Threw my back out due to overwhelming sensuality again.

66 shares on X this month:

Unfortunately, I am literally obsessed with the woman I am when I get stuff done, so I’m just going to keep doing that.

15 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s so funny how you can meet someone randomly online, and they become such an important part of your life. It’d be nicer if they lived closer, though.

33 shares on Messenger this month:

Accidentally punched myself in the face as I was getting dressed this morning, and I have to say, I deserved it.

52 shares on X this month:

My husband loves it when he orders fries, I say I don’t want any, and then I swoop in on his like a seagull at the beach.

59 shares on Pinterest this month:

I don’t have time for anything that doesn’t set my soul on fire.

36 shares on Slack this month:

Caesar, looking shocked: “Is it bring your knife to work day or something?”

89 shares on Snapchat this month:

Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The more secure you want my computer password to be, the more guaranteed I am to just write it on a very not secure post-it note.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s all fun and games until your jeans no longer fit.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at that point in my life where if a car hit me, I’d probably say thank you to the kind stranger.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Once again, I was not nominated for an Oscar this morning for acting my way through life.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Gonna go walk the beach and stare annoyingly at couples. May even growl as I pass by.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Took a break from social media because my cat was asleep on my phone.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate being a wage slave. I want to be a streamer that does nothing but react to videos all day, and then complain about how hard my life is.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

All the fruit flies are well-behaved near the garbage, only one is constantly nagging somewhere else because it thinks it has to discover new lands.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The thing I bought on Etsy in 2017 has shipped.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

At my funeral, take the bouquet off my casket and throw it in the crowd to see who next.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,503

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

My daily routine. Morning: Feeling tired, cranky and lazy. Afternoon: I could go for a nap. Night: I can’t sleep.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

In England “booster shot” is spelled “borchestershire shot”.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Not gonna lie, toddlers absolutely nailed it with naps, buttered noodles, and rejecting authority.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

I hate interviewing. Just hire me. I stand on business, for real.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

By my second “could we change the subject?” I could feel the job interview going south.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

So tonight me and my phone are playing hide and seek. So far my phone is winning.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Kinda miss being a child and wondering why the moon follows me.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

One interesting thing I learned in my thirties is that you can leave a bar before it closes.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Santa: “Don’t leave me milk. Leave me whiskey.”

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Letting the sun have its way with my freckles today.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

No one is more hated than those two people who start a standing ovation.

Making waves on Telegram:

I could never abuse substances, they mean a lot to me.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Twitter is like a mental hospital where everyone thinks they are the only sane person and everyone else is crazy.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Imagine being a bald vampire and every time you walk by a mirror your toupée is just floating.

Going bananas on Reddit:

I typed my name into Google’s search bar and it immediately auto-filled to “Doesn’t even listen to instructions” before crashing under the weight of disappointed search results.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

There are two wolves inside me, but please no one tell my landlord.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Imagine hating me and I’m just here trying to push a door that says pull.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I’m a fully functional adult with the energy levels of a hibernating bear.

Going viral on Telegram:

Breaking a heart is considered bad, but melting a heart is somehow good.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

My spirit animal is that bird that knocks itself unconscious flying into windows.

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