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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

That incredible ability of cats to only throw up on carpeted floors.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

I need to stop living by the words “life is short.” It’s hurting my bank account.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Bruschetta is 80% delicious and 20% mess.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

There is a reason I’m single and it’s called my face.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Nicknamed my iPhone Lois Lane because it doesn’t recognize me without my glasses on either.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Finding a person to make eye contact with during stupid meetings is essential to survival in the workplace.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

No amount of daylight can save us.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

DMs full of guys who wouldn’t know what to do with me.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Currently helping my husband look for his $20 I spent yesterday.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

I’ve realized there’s more to life than social media, so I guess this is goodbye for the next 12 minutes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

786 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,948

Funny Quotes Topics

13,918

Funny Quotes Images

10,948

Updated

58 minutes ago

Users Online

3,427

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

Peer pressure has nothing on me; all my bad decisions are made single-handedly.

Going viral on Telegram:

At my funeral, take the bouquet off my casket and throw it in the crowd to see who next.

Going viral on Instagram:

Your skull is the only thing preventing your brain from floating away, unburdened as it is by any meaningful thought to anchor it.

Spotted on Facebook:

There aren’t enough rap songs about cutting coupons.

Just shared via Discord:

Family fistfights brought to you by Monopoly.

Live now on Slack:

The breathing exercises from the birth preparation course are only needed once the child has reached puberty.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I don’t need the audio tour at the museum, I have my teen to provide critical commentary the entire time.

Spotted on Threads:

This year I’d like an advent calendar with 24 different tranquilizers.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Single by choice. Just not my choice.

Shared recently on Threads:

We were having tea with my mother-in-law the other day and out of the blue she said, “I’ve decided I want to be cremated.” I said, “Alright, get your coat.”

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

786 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,948

Funny Quotes Topics

13,918

Funny Quotes Images

10,948

Updated

58 minutes ago

Users Online

3,429

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Grandparents are there to help the kids get into trouble and teach them stupid things they wouldn’t think of on their own.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

The most expensive clothing you’ll ever wear is a hospital gown.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Money talks, and also waves goodbye.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Marriage is like a phone call at the night: First there’s the ring, and then you wake up.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Well, like I said to my television the other day, “How can these people be so stupid?!?”

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Thanksgiving should be called Feaster.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Sex so good, my left hand is making my right hand a sandwich.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Sometimes our greatest achievement in life is being able to survive our own thoughts.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Shout out to everyone who cooks at 180°C for 20 minutes, no matter what the instructions say.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Every room is a panic room if someone farts.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Discord:

It’s only a family vacation if you think “We’re never doing this again” at least once.

Making waves on Discord:

The neighbor sneezes loudly from the balcony. And because I’m a polite person, I shout loudly: Disgusting!

Trending via Snapchat:

I am brilliantly social for one and a half hours, and then I need to recover in my bedroom cave for two days.

Shared recently on Slack:

Due to rising prices, Dollar Tree is changing their name to ‘Tree Fiddy’.

Making waves on Instagram:

The wind is about to blow me to Oz, so if you see me flying past your window, mind your business.

Live now on Messenger:

Irregardless, for all intensive purposes, I could care less.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Babies invented being in a bad mood for no reason, and they continue to innovate in the field.

Just shared via Messenger:

“You tryna hang?” Yeah bro, myself!

Spotted on LinkedIn:

My husband sure has a lot of opinions on which movie he’s gonna sleep through.

Breaking via X:

FOMO? No, I’ve got FOBI. Fear of being invited.

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