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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Kendrick inspires me to be a bigger, deeper, more passionate hater.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Fog. When nature is too lazy to load the complete environment.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Sugar held my hand through every breakup.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

For someone who loves to sleep so much, you’d think I’d go to bed earlier.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Born to be quiet and mysterious, forced to yap whenever I get the chance.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Cicadas are all like, “Y’all mind if I scream?”

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

What if AirPods had tongues and they started licking the inside of your ears to indicate they’re low on battery?

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

I hate it when I take a picture of myself and see 20 years of bad eating habits and no exercise.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

My hair dryer is so powerful that it doubles as my leaf blower.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

What base is it when he says, “I know you need it badly,” but he’s talking about sleep?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

819 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,981

Funny Quotes Topics

13,924

Funny Quotes Images

10,981

Updated

57 minutes ago

Users Online

3,427

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

Could someone please come over here and be the adult? I’m too tired.

Just shared via WeChat:

My girlfriend treats me like a god. She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Introverts be like “I know a place”, then go home.

Just landed via Messenger:

Marry someone the same size as you to avoid decades of annoyance adjusting the seats and mirrors in the car.

Just shared via YouTube:

All of humanities problems could be solved with a large meteor.

Going viral on Instagram:

I have no desire to rekindle anything with anyone. See you never.

Breaking via Messenger:

You could go camping or you could stay at home, not shower, leave dirt on the floor and let some squirrels in.

Reported on Facebook:

I tried to scream into the abyss today but got a busy signal.

Just landed via X:

Welcome to your late 40s! From now on you will no longer be in “good health” but in “good health for your age”.

Making waves on Slack:

The difference between the Olympic village and a normal village is that not everyone in the Olympic village is related to each other.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

819 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,981

Funny Quotes Topics

13,924

Funny Quotes Images

10,981

Updated

57 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Cleaned the bathroom window. Wasn’t frosted glass at all.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Can hardly wait until my winter fat turns into spring rolls.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

I don’t understand why “family-run” should be a sign of quality. North Korea, for example, is also family-run and doesn’t convince me at all.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

My thighs are bigger than my chances in life.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Why can’t I explore the dentist’s mouth too?

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

I went to a mind reader. She almost went mad.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Pretending I’m asleep so my boss has to carry me to the meeting.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Everyone’s “the nicest guy ever” until the cops are in their backyard digging up several bodies.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

I wish more dumb people were shy.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

I heard you like bad boys. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

Sleeping is nice, because you’re not actually dead and you’re not awake, so its a win-win situation.

Just shared via Slack:

There is no ‘we’ in ‘food’.

Live now on Discord:

Enjoy the time between diapers!

Live now on X:

The one thing I’ve never had in my car’s glove box is a pair of gloves.

Just shared via YouTube:

I’m convinced the washing machine is a portal to another dimension for socks.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I always carry a knife with me in case I run into someone with 10,000 spoons.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Sorry I can’t come today. My sister’s friend’s mother’s grandpa’s brother’s grandson’s uncle’s fish died, and it was tragic.

Going viral on TikTok:

I wish I loved anything as much as people love to say they are “thrilled” on LinkedIn.

Breaking via Messenger:

Family fistfights brought to you by Monopoly.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Got banned from the sauna at my gym for saying “steam me up, Scotty” a few too many times.

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