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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Look, a three-day weekend is all I ask. The rest can be four-day weekends.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

“A healthy lifestyle is all about balance,” I say as I drive through Taco Bell after working out.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

I plan the silliest murders in my dreams because all I have to do to get away with it is wake up.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

You can really tell somebody’s mental state by they hair.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

How do you react when you see someone you respect on an e-scooter?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Don’t blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

If anyone wants a more cost effective energy provider, I can supply endless energy on tap from my absolutely not tired child at bedtime.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Telling men I have a boyfriend doesn’t chase them away anymore, so I’ve started telling them I have a child.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

If overthinking burned calories, I’d never need to exercise again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,716

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via YouTube:

Getting the house to yourself for a night is basically winning the lottery.

Spotted on Facebook:

Why is 4-8 p.m. on a Sunday the most depressing time ever?

Breaking via Slack:

If I was a stray cat, I’d follow you home and let you domesticate me.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

By the time I remember to text back, it be too disrespectful to even do it.

Going bananas on Instagram:

I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make one wool sweater. I didn’t even know they knew how to knit.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

There should be a tented fingers emoji. For when you’re feeling ruminative.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

White Lotus is a cautionary tale about taking time off from work.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

At some point, I need to admit my ‘guilty pleasure’ music taste is just my music taste now.

Spotted on Twitch:

Being sleepy all day is just part of who I am.

Just shared via Pinterest:

We should be able take jets and tanks and stuff whenever we want, we paid for them.

Funny quote origin quotes

New funny quote origin quotes 👇

Reading Shakespeare for the first time is crazy because you go, “Oh, that’s where that comes from,” every other page.

1 month ago

crazy, discovery, every, first time, humor, literature, oh, origin, page, quote origin, reading, Shakespeare, time, where

All funny quote origin quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on Pinterest this month:

My toxic trait is treating my glasses like they’re not the most expensive thing I wear everyday.

67 shares on TikTok this month:

When I said there’s no such thing as a dumb question, I didn’t expect them to take it as a personal challenge.

37 shares on Pinterest this month:

I don’t mean to say that I drink a lot of coffee, but Colombian farmers have a photo of me in their wallets.

33 shares on Telegram this month:

The way turkeys feel about November is probably how treadmills feel about January.

99 shares on YouTube this month:

Are you coming to the party? There will be noise and lights but I found a corner for us to hide.

99 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“I’m disgusted by how many of you still use Spotify. I use a fair trade, ethically conscientious mom-and-pop platform called Apple Music.”

76 shares on Discord this month:

Spongebob never let anyone dull his whimsical spirit.

85 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I wait all week for the weekend just to aggressively do nothing in five different outfits.

10 shares on WeChat this month:

I need to be more disciplined and stop procrastinating, starting tomorrow.

83 shares on Discord this month:

Do you ever think about how many people squeezed the avocado that you’re eating?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

My first thought upon waking up in the morning is “not again”.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

A service where you bring a working printer to my house, I print the one thing I need, and you leave again until next year.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Thoughts more intrusive than a 90s sitcom neighbor.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Vegan zombies be like: GRAINS!

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

“Likes your story” is a declaration of love.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Why is nobody questioning the quietness of the cosmos?

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

I came. I saw. I made it awkward.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Need to clean the fridge, so I’m going to do the responsible thing and drink wine instead.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

“Santa isn’t real!” Okay, I literally just saw him at the mall.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

It’s okay to feed your car a curb, as a little treat sometimes.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I can’t watch Sex and the City anymore, because I get really upset at how much money these ladies have.

Just landed via WeChat:

My favorite part of the Bible is when Jesus says to put a cross emoji and a Bible verse in your bio, and then call people slurs on the internet.

Trending via WeChat:

Don’t ring my doorbell unless you’re accompanied by a camera crew and holding balloons and a big check.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

So annoying that in order to meet new people you need to go out and meet new people. Ideally, I would have known you in a past life.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I’ve realized there’s more to life than social media, so I guess this is goodbye for the next 12 minutes.

Going viral on Messenger:

Not wearing glasses anymore, I’ve seen enough.

Just shared via Reddit:

Glasses don’t make you look smart, everyone knows you had to fail a test to get them.

Going viral on Messenger:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, can you give it a really good massage?

Going viral on Snapchat:

What age will I grow out of not answering the door when I’m home and sneaking around the house to find out who’s knocking?

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Activity Log ✨

Funny quote origin quotes

New funny quote origin quotes 👇

Reading Shakespeare for the first time is crazy because you go, “Oh, that’s where that comes from,” every other page.

All funny quote origin quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨