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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Dating now is basically choosing which red flag you’re willing to tolerate.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

My cat, who has no job and pays no rent, is apparently unhappy with his fancy new cat food, and I, for some reason, am currently on my way back to the store to rectify the matter.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

There’s no way you could go all the way through the desert on a horse with no name, you’d have named it by the end.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Don’t tell me about Stockholm Syndrome, I woke up at 6 AM on my first day of vacation wondering how things were going at work.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

I just locked eyes with a spider. But instead of killing him I ran away and hid, so he can spend the night stressing about where I am.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer to call it selective participation.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

And for my next trick, I’ll set your soul on fire.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Girls are perverts when they like you.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

There are only two kinds of people, and I avoid them both.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

Sorry, I’m late. I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,492

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

What no one ever considers is that the kids are pretending to believe in Santa for the sake of the parents.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Is ‘ugh’ an emotion? Because I fell it all the time.

Just shared via Instagram:

The best time to visit Japan is when you have money!

Going viral on Facebook:

Japanese cats answering the phone be like, “Meowshi meowshi.”

Just landed via Pinterest:

Saw a big spider crawl into my closet last night. He’s probably in there trying on all my clothes, acting like he’s me.

Just landed via WeChat:

I don’t wish anyone strife in their relationship but I do wish my neighbors would enunciate a little more when they fight so I can hear better.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Nothing ruins my day quite like getting out of bed and dealing with people.

Just landed via YouTube:

Facebook is like a never-ending high school reunion.

Trending via Twitch:

Unlocking new levels of iron deficiency.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

If there was a pill for procrastination… I’d probably take it tomorrow.

Funny real clothes quotes

New funny real clothes quotes 👇

Have to wear real clothes on Monday. Pray for me.

4 days ago

blues, clothes, humor, me, Monday, Monday blues, pray, prayer, real, real clothes, wear, work

All funny real clothes quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on Snapchat this month:

British people be like “I was born in E-sex, grew up in Woke Ham, moved to Man Chest Hair, went to uni in Rotten Stall.”

32 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Age ceases to be just a number everytime the airline announces seating queue priority.

54 shares on Facebook this month:

If people love cheese so much, why are they mad when someone smells like cheese.

73 shares on Reddit this month:

Technically, all the money I have ever spent on food has been flushed down the toilet.

71 shares on LinkedIn this month:

As a man, it’s my job to mistake kindness for flirting.

22 shares on YouTube this month:

If you’re 20, please stop saying you’re tired. I have bananas older than you.

31 shares on Pinterest this month:

Asking him what his favorite dinosaur is on the first date to determine compatibility.

14 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The way my phone’s facial recognition pretends not to recognize me, you’d think I dated it.

78 shares on Discord this month:

Men be like: I would love the opportunity to give you the bare minimum.

31 shares on WeChat this month:

Just went to the Oreo website and hit “accept all cookies” … and now we wait.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

I wanna stand with you on a mountain and throw you into the sea, or whatever Savage Garden was on about.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Whoever’s been in charge of the weather for the last few weeks seems to have fallen asleep on the couch with the remote control in their hand.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

I get most of my exercise these days from shaking my head in disbelief.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Intro to salsa class was weird, I starved myself all day, there was no chips or dips and then these weirdos were all grabby and dancing around.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Ummmm, no, I don’t watch ‘Instagram Reels.’ I have TikTok. I like to get my brain damage directly from the original source.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

It’s Monday. Please lower your voice and expectations.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper “Nobody cares!”

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

I saw an ad for the ultimate dog bed, but my dogs already have the ultimate dog bed. It’s called my bed.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

I’m actually breaking generational curses by surviving my 20s without marrying a man who hates me.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

I have a sundress and no man to bend me over in it, sad day.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

People moaning and making noise over food makes me so livid I can’t keep it in.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I saw an ad for the ultimate dog bed, but my dogs already have the ultimate dog bed. It’s called my bed.

Trending via Messenger:

Guy inventing jogging: how can I suffer, but with music?

Spotted on Facebook:

We must all do our part for the planet. The other day I unplugged a row of electric cars nobody was using.

Making waves on TikTok:

Hey, sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to come.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I’ve never used a semicolon with 100% confidence.

Making waves on TikTok:

It’s so hot the chipmunks are using my bird bath as a hot tub and requesting mimosas and the brunch menu.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Women will be like “I know a spot,” and then take you directly to hell.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny real clothes quotes

New funny real clothes quotes 👇

Have to wear real clothes on Monday. Pray for me.

All funny real clothes quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨