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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Let’s see how long my Monday slump lasts this time. Last week it was until Friday.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Since I’ve stayed away from most people, I get on much better with people.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Becoming an adult was the worst thing I’ve ever done.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

You can recognize working-class kids by the fact that they hang their jacket over the chair in the restaurant and not on the coat hook.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Getting a lawn sign so people know what I think today.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

My summer body is just my winter body with better lighting.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

I had to quit my job because people kept falling in love with me there.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Every time I have to leave the house and be around people I remember why I hate having to leave the house and be around people.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

There’s only one way we’ll at least occasionally get normal elected officials and that’s if we pick them by random lottery.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

Updated

46 seconds ago

Users Online

3,441

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

Instead of working on making myself a better person, I am going to purchase a cool new jacket.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Climbing Mount Everest looks super boring and dumb. You just walk uphill, are cold and at the brink of death. No thanks.

Just landed via Twitch:

I hate when a guy asks “can you cook?” Can you build a house?

Going viral on Facebook:

“Likes your story” is a declaration of love.

Just shared via Twitch:

I’m at the age where, if you ask me to go out after 9 p.m., I’m definitely not coming.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

The only men you can trust is ramen.

Freshly posted on Slack:

“I thought it might be nice to go around the room and have everyone introduce themselves, including a fun fact.” You thought wrong.

Breaking via Messenger:

Every time I see an odd screw on the floor somewhere, I think one of my loose ones has finally come out.

Making waves on Slack:

Raisins also have wrinkles and are still sweet.

Making waves on Slack:

I was once told that if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. Due to this, I’ve been observing a vow of silence since 1997.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

Updated

46 seconds ago

Users Online

3,425

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

I’m soirée for my mispronunciation of French words.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Not gonna lie, the age I’m turning this year sounds a little serious, and I don’t like it.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Whatever you do today, do it with the confidence of a 4-year old wearing a Batman cape.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

She was rare. Like a meth head with good teeth.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Just because the deodorant says 48 hours, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

There should be an opposite of Valentine’s Day where you post Instagram photos of your enemy.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

My problem areas are my upper arms and earth.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

I don’t have a favorite vampire. If you ask me, they all suck.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

The idea that the zombies in the 28 Days series exist entirely in Britain is genuinely hilarious. The rest of the world saw that and was like, “Yeah, they can handle it on their own.”

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

I hate when an old man tries to friend me on Facebook and then I realize we went to high school together.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Snapchat:

I’m never single for too long, you gotta catch me while you can.

Just landed via WeChat:

When I die, throw me on Mount Everest so it looks like I was trying to do something.

Making waves on Telegram:

I spend all day on Facebook so that Mark Zuckerberg can eat.

Spotted on Telegram:

As someone who lives on earth, rising sea levels are alarming. But as someone who has always wanted to be a mermaid, I’m intrigued.

Spotted on Facebook:

Everyone is always talking about raising money for dogs without homes, but what about the ones who don’t have cars?

Live now on Twitch:

Seeing a grown man stumble when the train moves is disgusting. How will you provide for anyone?

Making waves on X:

I used to blame all my problems on my parents, but now that I’m a grown up, I have come to terms with the fact that when bad things happen to me, it’s probably just that Mercury’s in retrograde again.

Spotted on Threads:

I used to think money is everything. I still think money is everything.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

To cut the long story short, I have spent all my money.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Tensing up so the masseuse doesn’t win.

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