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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Wi-Fi: Your internet connection is unstable. Me: You should see my life.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Please don’t ask me what my hobbies are, I lost interest in life back in 6th grade.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

I don’t hate you, I just don’t want to see you alive.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

If you give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day. But if you teach a man to fish, you’ll get the house to yourself on Saturdays.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

I can’t keep up anymore. Happy birthday to everyone for the rest of your life.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Summer body? Folks, I’m cosplaying as a potato that’s seen some things.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

If you want people to have kind words when you pass, you should say kind words when you’re alive.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

If you’re partying with your cousin and you’re asked if you’re related, “Our parents are siblings” will cause a lot of confusion.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Straighten your back and drink some water, you dehydrated banana.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Tinder, but for nearby people that have a printer you can use.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,567

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Slack:

You know you’re getting old when you’re entering your birth year online and you need to spin that thing like you’re on wheel of fortune.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Y’all are single because y’all are looking for 90’s love in this sick generation.

Broadcasted on X:

Eating fast food shouldn’t count for calories because it’s not around long enough.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

In an alternate universe, sex dreams of me.

Going viral on Instagram:

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

Making waves on Snapchat:

If I ever die on some hill, rest assured, something fishy is going on.

Shared recently on Reddit:

With no training whatsoever, I took out myself and the other two people exiting the ski lift in one fell swoop.

Trending via Pinterest:

The night before a day off is more satisfying than the actual day off.

Spotted on Reddit:

Mambo No. 5, but it’s in a minor key, and I’m naming women who didn’t text me back.

Going viral on Instagram:

Too many losers and not enough people telling them they’re losers.

Funny resealable bag quotes

New funny resealable bag quotes 👇

My toxic trait is consistently cutting off the resealable part of the bag of frozen vegetables.

0

2 months ago

bag, cooking, cooking fail, cutting, fail, food, food struggle, frozen, frozen vegetable, humor, kitchen, kitchen humor, relatable, relatable humor, resealable, resealable bag, struggle, toxic, toxic trait, trait, vegetable, vegetables

Someone from 🇪🇬 has recently shared this quote.

38 shares on Reddit this month.

All funny resealable bag quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on Instagram this month:

If insomnia were a sport, I’d have endorsement deals.

44 shares on Facebook this month:

Human hibernation should be a thing.

34 shares on LinkedIn this month:

There is a reason I’m single and it’s called my face.

63 shares on TikTok this month:

Sometimes I miss the time when there was only one idiot per village.

60 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Why is being alive so expensive? I’m not even having a good time.

87 shares on Telegram this month:

Coding: Where incessantly talking to yourself seems completely normal and debugging is like being a detective in a movie where you are both the detective and the perpetrator.

39 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You know shit’s about to get real when I put on yoga pants before dessert.

18 shares on Facebook this month:

The husband, child, and dog are all snoring. WTF is this?

66 shares on Messenger this month:

If lying was a job some people would be billionaires.

83 shares on TikTok this month:

I hate taking my pants off at the dentist. So humiliating.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Once I matched with a guy and ended up finding out he lived in my neighborhood, so I told him to go outside and scream, and he did. And I heard it.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Google AI is awesome because it kills the planet and doesn’t work.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

“Your password is too weak!” Just wait until you see my impulse control.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Sorry, I can’t tonight. I’m busy taking things personally.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to pull all nighters.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Don’t ask me ‘how are you?’ unless you’re willing to sign an NDA.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

After a month away and enough pasta to scare an Italian grandma, I can confirm: too much Parmesan? Never heard of her.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

I feel like my greatest accomplishment today has been not saying what I’m thinking out loud.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

It’s important to post stupid stuff so you can learn who likes you.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

There should be significant punishments for people at the grocery store with no spatial awareness.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

I may not be the smartest or most athletic man in the world. There’s no second part to this, keep scrolling.

Spotted on YouTube:

I wish people knew how good I can sing when I’m alone in my car and in my shower.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Not to brag but I don’t need alcohol to do something stupid.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Technically I’m still young, but according to my back pain I’m actually 69.

Seen just now on Facebook:

To all the people with grammatical issues, don’t worry, I also have problems with badly timed periods.

Making waves on Facebook:

One day I will start learning from my mistakes. Today is not that day. Tomorrow isn’t looking so good either.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Of course, because I’m wearing a white shirt, my coffee chose violence.

Making waves on Threads:

Discovered a new coping mechanism called lashing out and making your loved ones resent you.

Just landed via Slack:

When buying presents I like to think, what would Jesus have got you? So yeah, enjoy your fish sandwich.

Making waves on WeChat:

Donuts are beautiful creatures, and they deserve their own week on the nature channels.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny resealable bag quotes

New funny resealable bag quotes 👇

My toxic trait is consistently cutting off the resealable part of the bag of frozen vegetables.

All funny resealable bag quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨