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Funny resealable bag quotes

My toxic trait is consistently cutting off the resealable part of the bag of frozen vegetables.

Funny Quotes Feb 8, 2025

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Can’t sleep because I keep finding exciting opportunities to get pissed off. - 77 shares on Threads this week.
Just as “magic spells” use special rhymes and archaic terms to signal their power, the convoluted language of legalese acts to convey a sense of authority. - 47 shares on YouTube this week.
When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying ‘Haven’t decided yet’ is typically a good response. - 48 shares on WeChat this week.
I don’t care if it’s AI or an immigrant, I desperately need someone to take my job, it’s killing me. - 14 shares on Instagram this week.
Of course the laundry has to be done, but the wine doesn’t drink itself either. - 93 shares on Pinterest this week.

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8,001 funny quotes and pics

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Updated: Feb 13, 2025

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